7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation

Toothless

Toothless

We’ve all been there.  Minding our own business when we stumble onto a sign that there are dragons nearby.  If we’re lucky, the beast is already gone or simply passing through the area.  Yet there are times where they stick around.  So here’s what to look for to see if you need an exterminator.

  1. You haven’t seen the cat in days.  Sure, Princess Tangerine wanders off from time to time.  This feels different.  Maybe it’s because she hasn’t reacted to you running the can opener over a loudspeaker.  Could even be the that her food bowl is missing . . . along with the floor it was on.
  2. There’s a lot of smoke in and around the house.  You’ve called the fire department, but that hasn’t stopped the problem.  Then again, the truck has been outside for the last few days, so maybe it’s a really big fight where you can’t see it.  For now, just keep the ceiling fans on.
  3. Sure are a lot of earthquakes lately.  Nothing severe, but the house keeps shaking.  It would make more sense if you were on a fault line.  You’re not, but maybe it’s one that hasn’t been identified yet.
  4. Somebody keeps leaving gold coins and gems around the house and yard.  Not that you’re complaining.  Finders keepers and all that.  Still, it’s getting hard to explain to the bank and local jewelers.  Also, gold coins are not as accepted as gold cards.
  5. Random bursts of wind keep knocking trees over.  This tends to happen along with sudden darkness that lasts for a second or two.  You called the local weatherman who told you to use Facebook instead.  Even then, all he could say is that predicting weather is more of an art than a science.  You get the sense that he’s been drinking to forget something.
  6. A band of short, armored men with an array of beards keep showing up on your doorstep.  Sometimes they show up with a tall, old guy that spontaneously disappears for other business.  You think you saw a kid with them too, but it could have been a trick of the light.  Unlike the people with large saddles, these guys don’t seem to take ‘No’ for an answer.
  7. Uh, you see a dragon.  Seriously, they aren’t that good at hiding in suburbia.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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48 Responses to 7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation

  1. Enjoyed this. Are dragons like bugs, if you see one there are a hundred?

    Like

  2. Hilarious!!! Love this. Reblogging now. The world needs to know this important information. Too many ignorant folk have suffered from dragon infestations.

    Like

  3. Reblogged this on Michelle Proulx — The Website and commented:
    Important information about an uncommon but deadly infestation.

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Don’t say you didn’t know 😱

    Like

  5. SleepyDragon1320 says:

    Reblogged this on Sleepy Book Dragon and commented:
    As a Sleepy Book Dragon, I have to say I don’t see the issue here. I mean, us dragons are amazing, caring creatures and who can resist Toothless when he looks like that!

    Like

  6. Absolutely c.h.a.r.m.i.n.g. 😀 😛

    Like

  7. Oh, how i love Toothless. I wouldn’t mind having him around.

    Like

  8. jowensauthor says:

    Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author and commented:
    Haha! As Bill Engval would say, “Here’s your sign.” Just be sure to stay out of the dragon’s affairs.

    Like

  9. Aimable Cats says:

    I forget who it was that first said «Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and tasty with ketchup.»

    Like

  10. I’ve always liked dragons and then I found out Dragon is my Chinese birth time sign! My dragon collection, from different countries, is growing. The cat didn’t come home for dinner. Oh wait I don’t have a cat. And the sky darkening is more to do with it being nighttime even though I do have a dragon visiting me at home. It’s a friendly water dragon. Not sure that it’s related to the fire breathing variety but who cares – it’s a Dragon …

    Like

  11. Ali Isaac says:

    Haha! Brilliant, Charles! 😁😂😄

    Like

  12. adeleulnais says:

    Loved this so much.

    Like

  13. Helen Jones says:

    Excellent post, Charles! I sometimes think I wouldn’t mind having a dragon or two, but your list is making me think again 😉

    Like

  14. This made me laugh and I needed that tonight. I dreamed about a dragon a couple of nights ago. No signs that he’s around here anywhere except in my head.

    Like

  15. noelleg44 says:

    Laughed all the way through this, Charles. I love dragons – would probably put a bowl – a large bowl – of cat food out for it. Will re-post this!

    Like

  16. Pingback: Top of 2016 #4: 7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation | Legends of Windemere

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