Editing Haiku: A Six Poem Series

thFirst Run

I think this is funI get to fix my mistakes
And witness the whole

*

Second Run

Second times the charm
I will focus on the tale
Sanding the edges

*

Third Run

Starting to wear down
Even after a long break
I will not give up

*

Fourth Run

I suck at writing
None suck as much as I do
Though this part is good

*

Fifth Run

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

*

Sixth Run

I got some help now
The doctor said he would read
Once Lincoln is done

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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33 Responses to Editing Haiku: A Six Poem Series

  1. sknicholls says:

    That fifth run was a real challenge…LOL

    Like

  2. Bastet says:

    Ah so poetic…a true master of hokku, Basho, Shiki and Buson all rolled into one lone poet! ROFL!!!! (The fifth was definately the best!)

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    • Thanks. Though, I thought they were only haiku. I hate to admit that I don’t recognize those other forms.

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      • Bastet says:

        Watch out what you call haiku or I’ll send Mikels Skele to tell you about what a haiku is! πŸ™‚

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      • It’s the only thing I know from my school days. This is what I was taught a haiku is.

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      • Bastet says:

        Sheesh…they taught you bad…at best those are Micropoems and have nothing to do with haiku…but they’re funny anyway πŸ˜€

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      • It was elementary school. Though, I do remember looking up haiku and it being the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. I know a lot of the Japanese poem styles are also dependent on topic, so this would be closer to what some people call the English Contemporary Haiku. Never got behind the idea that a poem style is dependent on subject matter.

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      • Bastet says:

        Very japanese I think…and supposedly what makes the difference between a haiku, a senryu and I’ve just discovered a zappai (so what you’ve got here is spam-ku of zappai…especially number 5):

        “Many so-called “haiku” in English are really senryu. Others, such as “Spam-ku” and “headline haiku”, seem like recent additions to an old Japanese category, zappai, miscellaneous amusements in doggerel verse (usually written in 5-7-5) with little or no literary value. Some call the products of these recent fads “pseudohaiku” to make clear that they are not haiku at all.”

        But I was pulling your leg as your were pulling ours, I wouldn’t think of entering into a serious discussion of what a haiku is…hell Americans in the past have gotten almost to the point of duels over the definition of a haiku! My katana though is reserved for more serious stuff πŸ˜‰

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      • Spam-ku sounds like a spam-based Chinese dish that includes noodles and eggs. Not that appetizing.

        My katana is still packed away with the wakazashi, tanto, giant blades, longswords, a saber, and several other weapons. Though, I have a medieval hand-axe in case of emergencies.

        Sorry about snapping though. I’m getting a little exhausted with trying to edit multiple books. Hoping to get at least one out of the way by the end of the week.

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      • Bastet says:

        good luck love…I’ll leave you to it…unfortunately I didn’t realize that you were snappy! hand axes are always good in a pinch πŸ˜‰

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      • Especially when you can’t find a bottle opener. πŸ˜‰

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      • Bastet says:

        Terrible! That is really a bitch of a problem…believe me I know what you’re talking about! πŸ˜€

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  3. You captured the emotion and experience too well. πŸ™‚

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  4. Love it – several circles of hell Dante forgot about, I think! πŸ™‚

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  5. L. Marie says:

    Very clever, Charles!!

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  6. Papi Z says:

    I enjoyed these. I believe a collection of these are in order. I shall think up a suitable name and get back to you on it. πŸ˜‰

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  7. globalnewsgarden says:

    Master of revision! Truly interesting and — may I say — original poem!

    Like

  8. Ellespeth says:

    I’m in a fifth rum – I mean run – sort of mood today! Good ones, Charles πŸ™‚
    Ellespeth

    Like

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