Council of Mystical Creatures

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Dragon:  I call this meeting of the Brotherhood of Monsters to order.

Elf: Can we have a different name?  Some of us aren’t monsters any more.

Orc:  Yeah!

Dragon: Put in a petition later.  What do we have to discuss?

Griffin: Many of us are still being used and altered to the whims of humans.  Am I supposed to be a monster, a mount, or a pet?

Hippogriff:  At least you get remembered while I get confused for you.  One fandom seems to remember me, but that’s it.  It sucks being your cousin.

Orc:  Yeah!

Manticore: Nobody thinks of me.  Do any of you know the last time I was used?

Centaur: Probably a God of War game like many of us.  The harpies are still in traction from that series.

Dragon:  This bickering and whining does nothing.  You should be happy with what you get or do you want to vanish like some of our brethren.

Dwarf:  Of course, you’re happy.  Nobody forgets dragons.  Even in worlds with minimal magic, they seem to have dragons.

Orc:  Yeah!

Dragon:  I can think of a few worlds without dragons. It isn’t my fault that my kind are so popular.

Elf: The dwarf has a point though.  You exist everywhere, which is why you rule the council.  You are wise, but you do not understand our plight.

Orc:  Yeah!

Minotaur:  Shut up, pointy ears!  You don’t understand either.  Ever since you were made beautiful and elegant, you get into everything.  Nobody fantasizes about my kind unless you count nightmares.

Orc:  Yeah!

Siren:  Am I beautiful or ugly?  I don’t know any more.  Can somebody tell me?

Mermaid:  I think it depends on the author and if they think you’re me.  Damn red-haired tart and her voice ruined it for the rest of us.

Lamia: Nobody knows how I am!

Vampire:  I don’t even know if I’m a monster anymore.

Werewolf:  Why can’t I get the girl?

Zombie:  I want a vacation!

Orc:  Yeah!

Dragon:  EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!!  Every meeting ends with this problem.  You get what cards you’re dealt and enjoy existing.  Hold out and an author might use you for more than a monster to be slain.  Where’s the dignity of being a monster?

Gathered Monsters:  Sorry.

Dragon:  Very well. Do we have anything else to discuss?

Griffin:  Nope.  We don’t really have anything to talk about as a group.  These meetings are for the free food, drinks, and venting.

Demon:  I told you we should have brought back the virgin sacrificial dinners.

Angel:  Nobody listens to you.

Dragon:  Do I have to eat you two again?

Angel & Demon:  Sorry, sir.

Dragon:  I guess this meeting is over as quickly as the others. Does-  *Orc raises hand* I’m going to regret this.  What is it?

Orc:  Me think we should make t-shirts for extra money.  Also, bake sale.

Dragon:  I do love brownies.  Very well.  We’ll each make some plans for a bake sale to discuss at next week’s meeting.  Don’t forget to let our absent friends know about this new endeavor.  Until next week.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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67 Responses to Council of Mystical Creatures

  1. llamadean says:

    Hahaha! This is hysterical!

    “Zombie: I want a vacation!”
    “Dragon: Do I have to eat you two again?
    Angel & Demon: Sorry, Sir.”

    are my favorite parts! 😀


  2. Jaye says:

    Reblogged this on Practical Creative and commented:
    Other Worlds, Other Voices … right up my street!


  3. Hahaha! I didn’t think the Orc knew how to say anything other than “Yeah!” LOL


  4. Patti Hall says:

    Hilariously great writing! Love that pic for this.


  5. This made me laugh


  6. MishaBurnett says:

    Very nice. I particularly like the zombie needing a vacation.


  7. ioniamartin says:

    I agree with the orc.


  8. sknicholls says:

    You crack me up…yeah!


  9. howanxious says:

    Reblogged this on howanxious and commented:
    You wouldn’t want to miss this council… 😀


  10. howanxious says:

    Vampire and werewolf.. amazing.. But I loved the Orc above all.
    Damn hilarious… 😀


  11. “Damn red-haired tart” – I love it! Well, that and the Orc’s bake sale. Very funny, Charles!


  12. tjtherien says:

    break out the brownies…


  13. Yeah! I think the Orc may be the smartest member of the group, baked goods sound great. This was a lot of fun, I hope you write more of this in the future. 🙂


  14. Pingback: I. Am. Pouting. | When I Became an Author

  15. Pingback: Moping to the finish line | The D/A Dialogues

  16. What a fun read 🙂


  17. “Yeah!” I love the Orc…this piece Charles is absolutely GENIUS! I love it!


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