Dragon: I call this meeting of the Brotherhood of Monsters to order.
Elf: Can we have a different name? Some of us aren’t monsters any more.
Dragon: Put in a petition later. What do we have to discuss?
Griffin: Many of us are still being used and altered to the whims of humans. Am I supposed to be a monster, a mount, or a pet?
Hippogriff: At least you get remembered while I get confused for you. One fandom seems to remember me, but that’s it. It sucks being your cousin.
Manticore: Nobody thinks of me. Do any of you know the last time I was used?
Centaur: Probably a God of War game like many of us. The harpies are still in traction from that series.
Dragon: This bickering and whining does nothing. You should be happy with what you get or do you want to vanish like some of our brethren.
Dwarf: Of course, you’re happy. Nobody forgets dragons. Even in worlds with minimal magic, they seem to have dragons.
Dragon: I can think of a few worlds without dragons. It isn’t my fault that my kind are so popular.
Elf: The dwarf has a point though. You exist everywhere, which is why you rule the council. You are wise, but you do not understand our plight.
Minotaur: Shut up, pointy ears! You don’t understand either. Ever since you were made beautiful and elegant, you get into everything. Nobody fantasizes about my kind unless you count nightmares.
Siren: Am I beautiful or ugly? I don’t know any more. Can somebody tell me?
Mermaid: I think it depends on the author and if they think you’re me. Damn red-haired tart and her voice ruined it for the rest of us.
Lamia: Nobody knows how I am!
Vampire: I don’t even know if I’m a monster anymore.
Werewolf: Why can’t I get the girl?
Zombie: I want a vacation!
Dragon: EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!! Every meeting ends with this problem. You get what cards you’re dealt and enjoy existing. Hold out and an author might use you for more than a monster to be slain. Where’s the dignity of being a monster?
Gathered Monsters: Sorry.
Dragon: Very well. Do we have anything else to discuss?
Griffin: Nope. We don’t really have anything to talk about as a group. These meetings are for the free food, drinks, and venting.
Demon: I told you we should have brought back the virgin sacrificial dinners.
Angel: Nobody listens to you.
Dragon: Do I have to eat you two again?
Angel & Demon: Sorry, sir.
Dragon: I guess this meeting is over as quickly as the others. Does- *Orc raises hand* I’m going to regret this. What is it?
Orc: Me think we should make t-shirts for extra money. Also, bake sale.
Dragon: I do love brownies. Very well. We’ll each make some plans for a bake sale to discuss at next week’s meeting. Don’t forget to let our absent friends know about this new endeavor. Until next week.