(Originally posted on April 8, 2015.  Do not follow list if weather or situation puts self at risk of harm.)

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1. At the urging of loved ones, including the dying orchid in the corner, you decide to open the window.  Taking a big sniff of fresh air, you promptly pass out.  Apparently, you’ve been inside for so long that your body mistook the clean air for poison.  On the plus side, your trip to the hospital counts as getting out and meeting new people, so your family will leave you alone for a week.
2. You answer the door for Halloween and kids run screaming from your terrifying ghost costume.  You consider it a step in the right direction since last year they thought you were a zombie.  Still, you might want to do something about being paler than an albino.
3. The slightest ray of natural sunlight causes you to do your best Gizmo from Gremlins imitation.  Complete with high-pitched screaming about the bright light and the smell of burning flesh.  Though that second one might be caused more by you using matches for small light sources.
4. You have no recollection of what your town looks like. Google Earth helps you fake it when your online friends ask about where you live.  But you just said you enjoy going to a restaurant that burned down a year ago.  Maybe you should start taking some walks before people start thinking you’re a computer program instead of a real human.
5. The last time you saw your house key, it was in your jacket pocket.  Now you have no idea where either one is.  Though the pile of moth-eaten fabric with a sprinkling of rust looks familiar.  Come to think of it, where did those moths go to?
6. You cannot confidently answers the question ‘Are you animal, vegetable, or mineral?’ because you might be all three.
7. There is a car waiting outside your house and you have no idea where it came from. It just sits there and nobody ever comes to claim it.  The police have driven by and say that they don’t see this mystery car.  You think you are losing your mind because the car is right there.  Now that you think about it, you vaguely remember owning a Corolla as well.  That same color too, but not as rusty and faded.  Whatever happened to that thing?  OH!