Wreck It Ralph

Villain 1– “I have come to your world to-”

Villain 2– “It’s not my world.”

V1– “Oh . . . I didn’t mean you own it. Just a figure of speech from where I’m from. I’m not from around here.”

V2– “Seems obvious after you stepped out of a portal. Am I supposed to be your minion now?”

V1– “I think that’s how this goes. I’m fairly new to this. Back home, I worked a job that filled with me unbridled rage.”

V2– “We have customer service jobs here too. Look, I’ve been trying to conquer this place for a long time. I’d rather not being a minion.”

V1– “What about a partnership?”

V2– “Villain alliances always fall apart due to betrayal. Didn’t you pay attention when we did that topic?”

V1– “I was too busy dying and being reincarnated. So, I guess we’ll be rivals. Our enemies can handle two big bads.”

V2– “This isn’t really fair since you’re going to have enormous power to make up for your pathetic life back in your world.”

V1– “Harsh, but true. I can feel magic coursing through my veins already. What is to stop me from killing you and taking over your army?”

V2– “Got no army.”

V1– “Your kingdom.”

V2– “Got no kingdom.”

V1– “Powerful weapons.”

V2– “They’ve been backordered.”

V1– “That . . . Wait . . . How would you know that world?”

V2– “No reason . . . Fine, I was brought over several years ago too.  There’s another guy who showed up before me, but he’s too busy playing mad scientist.  The woman before him is creating a harem on some island.  Not sure what the twenty before her are up to.”

V1– “24 summoned villains?”

V2– “I don’t think they meant for us to be villains, but that’s what they got.”

V1– “So, who are our enemies?”

V2– “We don’t have any unless we mess with each other, but that gets boring since we all have the same incredible powers.”

V1– “This sounds really boring. What do you guys do?”

V2– “Wait for real heroes to show up.  There’s a monthly meeting to see if anybody has seen anything.  Sorry.”

V1– “This sucks.”

V2– “At least you aren’t working customer service anymore.”

V1– “Good point.”