Art by Alison Hunt
(This is another topic I felt was unavoidable in Do I Need to Use a Dragon?. Romance is one of the most common plots and subplots. It’s also one that brings in a lot of controversy, especially when it shows up in other genres. Like I said, unavoidable topic.)
I want to make it clear that I’m talking about romance and not sex. What’s the difference I hear a few people ask?
First, that’s a rather telling question.
Second, romance is when characters become emotionally attached and close to each other. It can be the catalyst for moments of great joy or deep sadness in both characters and readers. Sex is simply the act of procreation, which humans will also do for pleasure.
The addition of this type of story can be seen as a mistake as well. There are plenty of strong opinions on romance being added to a story, which isn’t primarily about character relations. As you can expect, those aren’t all positive thoughts, which is why this can become a controversial topic. Some would even say that a romance is what an author does to destroy their characters and story. That’s rather extreme, but you’ll see how that can come about.
Romance is possibly the most common subplot you will find in stories that don’t have it as the core conflict. People may also call it the most infectious storyline because it can take over a book if one isn’t careful. This happens when a romance involves a lot of drama, tension, and swerves. Character relationships can be hurt thanks to the couple either getting together or breaking apart. Those around them may be written to take sides or the team can no longer function due to the remaining tension. So, the romance ends up overshadowing and nearly consuming the main story. It’s no longer about the quest or politics, but the relationships that are being created, strained, or broken.
This occurs because some of our most powerful emotions are stirred by romances. Love, hate, passion, sadness, doubt, angst, and fear are all thrown into the mix as things move from introduction to being a couple and beyond. Authors strive to put emotions into their works and readers hope to have such things evoked in their own minds, so it’s easy to fall into the rabbit hole. By the time you realize something is wrong, the damage has been done, which is why many try to avoid romances entirely. This isn’t any better than going too far.
The reason why an author shouldn’t swear they’ll never write a romantic subplot is the same one for why they’re so common. Romances are a part of life whether they be good, bad, or absent. A person can be in a loving relationship, a toxic one, or be yearning for anything that makes them feel wanted. Humans are social creatures and love is a driving force that most people can understand. Characters who never fall in love, or pursue relationships beyond friendship, can be seen as missing a humanizing aspect. This isn’t necessarily true, but that’s the perception some readers will create in their minds
Even if it’s a crush that is never made clear or seen to fruition, the demonstration that romance is possible is important. It can come from the secondary characters instead of the primary, which can help prevent the subplot from consuming the entire story. Yet, a romance is there in some fashion. I’m not saying this is entirely necessary, but it’s a powerful option an author should never throw away out of fear or hate. All one has to do is be careful and make sure it doesn’t become so big that it sucks all the air out of the book.
Legends of Windemere 
My jaded opinion after years of this complaint that “romance ruins X genre” is that it’s the reader’s problem, not the author’s. Especially since it most often comes from men. Romance is about vulnerability and putting others first. It usually centers the woman’s needs (not in the case of a gay romance, obviously). So if a guy thinks vulnerability and putting your partner first is revolting, that is definitely a personal problem.
I say this as someone who doesn’t regularly read or write romance. For my novels, whether there is a romance or not depends on the characters. Too Many Princes and The Seven Exalted Orders have prominent romance threads. In the Minstrels of Skaythe novels, romance is only hinted at.
My advice to fellow writers would be this: if you aren’t comfortable with having a romance in your story, then don’t write one.
My advice to fellow readers is: if you don’t like the romance, then read a different book.
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It does seem to men who primarily complain about romance subplots. It’s strange because many of them claim to enjoy stories with romantic subplots. I think it might be how overt or messy it is. Then again, it can partially connect to a rise in incel culture too. I’ve run into a few proud incels who despised the romance in Legends.
I agree with the vulnerability aspect. Thinking back, I do try to have both parties be vulnerable. Emotions are essential to any relationship. Can’t keep them bottled up for things to work.
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What a sensible and thoughtful reply, Deny. Yes, it is the reader’s problem, and I agree they should read something else. However, sometimes it isn’t obvious there is going to be romance, but even so, the reader shouldn’t complain as that’s what the author wanted to write. They can stop reading.
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Because I read young adult novels, I’m used to the romance subplot. So, I find it fascinating that authors swear they won’t include romance in a novel. This is not a criticism. I’m just so used to romance in stories. Not many people question that in young adult novel. This is not to say that romance isn’t problematic in some book series and shows. I’ve seen how romance seemed the kiss of death in some series. The stories seemed to have too much angst after that. But that’s just my opinion.
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It is interesting to see authors actively and loudly be against romance. I don’t remember when that started. Maybe around the Twilight/Hunger Games period when fans were more interested in ‘shipping than the plot.
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Though I liked both series, I can’t blame people for being tired of the shipping. 😊 Even I was tired of Team Edward/Team Jacob Team Peeta/Team Gayle. But teens weren’t. And I wasn’t a fan of the Black Widow/Bruce Banner relationship as short-lived as that seemed, because it seemed to pop up all of a sudden. But maybe somebody liked it.
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Forgot about that momentary couple. I saw hints of it in the first Avengers movie, but as much as Widow/Hawkeye. I think Whedon did it primarily to add that line from Widow saying she was a monster. That was terrible dialog.
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Sometimes romance is important, even if only a subplot. In the first book of my Wolves of Vimar series, one of the companions is a noble young woman. She thinks she is entitled because of her status as the heir to a duchy. Everyone, she thinks, is beneath her and should do her bidding.
Then she falls in love with another of the companions who is not only a poor man’s son, but also a foreigner. This, once she (and he) accepts it, changes her. This change would not have come about except for the romance.
I kept it in the background, though. I hope people are aware of it, but not to the detriment of the plot as a whole.
And, it actually triggers the plot of Book 3.
In my case, the romance seemed to just happen. It was the natural way to go.
I have no objection to romance in fantasy, even if it is the main plot-line as in my current WIP.
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I had a lot of flirting and ‘will they/won’t they’ in my first series. Some of the romances took center stage at times when I needed to push character development. This is why I started seeing Legends as a tale of growing heroes instead of just a ‘save the world’ quest.
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I’m not opposed to it at all. I am currently writing a trilogy that will feature a romance sub-plot. As long as the author gives me what I want, a romance thread won’t put me off, and it might enhance the overall story.
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I agree. Done correctly, it can only help. The problem does come from authors who jam a romance in without thinking it through.
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