Poetry Day: Don’t Eat That! You Might Like It!


(I’ve tried to exercise and eat healthy many times in my life.  Doesn’t help that food is an easy source of serotonin when I’m anxious or depressed.  So, it’s a big psychological struggle to avoid the bad stuff.  Many people don’t notice this or care, which is why they bombard me with criticism about my eating habits.  This is rarely asked for and has the opposite effect.  I just eat a lot then and start thinking that what few steps I tried to take aren’t enough.  Here is that in poem form.)

Put that food down!
You are lucky I was here
To stop you from yourself
Pushing fat into your arteries
And cholesterol into your blood
Killing yourself with sugars
But I am here to save you
No need to thank me


What do you mean?
You are not thankful
That I have come to help
I do not care
If you like that food
Or that your taste buds scream
In heavenly orgasm
At its very scent


I see science will not work
You are in too deep
Let us find another snack
No matter how you whine
Have some apples
Organically grown
To shiny, red perfection
Though cost more than your house


You still refuse
Because the price is high
And it will always be
For stores have us by the balls
When it comes to eating true
But that is not the point
Forget the fortune that you spend
Is your health not worth it?


Think about your spouse
And your children sitting home
Be healthy for their sake
How will you feel
If you selfishly drop dead?
Leaving them alone
Mourning for a gluttonous fool
That abandoned them for a snack


I believe I hit a nerve
Just as you have hit my face
Swearing I went too far
In pushing your good health
My preaching is now done
And left my stomach empty
So I have a final question
Where can I buy that food?

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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4 Responses to Poetry Day: Don’t Eat That! You Might Like It!

  1. L. Marie says:

    This is funny and sad, because I’m sure I’ve heard words like this directed to me, particularly about cake.


  2. A terrific poem, Charles. Tell the food critic to take a hike.


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