The second quarter of the 2022-2023 school year has ended . . . Time is going by quickly, but it’s also dragging.  Not sure how that’s possible.

Anyway, I have to admit that I didn’t get much in the way of writing done after last Saturday.  I did hit the 1/3 mark of Darwin & the Demon Game.  Wrote chapter 5 in one day and then rested with the intention of tackling chapter 6 on Sunday.  I don’t know what went wrong.  My brain was foggy and unfocused.  I had sinus pain and my anxiety was blipping.  All I managed to accomplish was part of a section, which took me all day.  I even stopped mid-paragraph because my mind and body just wouldn’t function like it did Saturday.  I’m hoping to finish it today while my son draws.  Maybe I’ll finish chapter 6 this week and have the ability to finish 7 and 8 next weekend.

Still, I’m kind of confused and worried about what happened.  I woke up Saturday after a great night of sleep.  Ate well and even got my car into the shop for an oil change.  Sunday was supposed to be easier with more sleep and no errands/chores.  Instead, I woke up feeling anxious and brutalized.  I’m wondering if I still have long covid issues because it felt like one of my bad days during the summer.  The weather can be triggering things too and it was pretty nasty out.  Oddest part is that writing tends to wear me out more than anything else.  I don’t understand why even though a friend suggested that I probably burn more energy writing than doing other low-thinking activities.  Doesn’t help that I think I’m a hack right now and hate everything I do.

My week was fairly busy too.  My son had late appointments on Monday and Tuesday as well as 3 tests to study for.  It wasn’t until Wednesday night that things almost settled, but I’m back on the summer camp hunt.  Hoping that one I look at today works out.  Again, this added stress and broke my focus.  It made it that I couldn’t muster the desire to write, blog, bike, or do more than take a shot of Zzzquil and crawl into bed.  So, it wasn’t as productive a week as I’d hoped.

Work was easier though.  At least, the students had half-days.  I didn’t get to go home early, but it meant a few extra hours to decompress.  Next week is back to the usual schedule, which isn’t bad.  The students I work with are great and make my day go by quickly.  I get home tired and use the last of my energy to help my son with his homework, but the exhaustion is for good causes.  He shouldn’t have many tests coming up since the new quarter just started.  Still, you never know what’s coming.  Best to brace myself for anything.

My anxiety has gotten better.  Only had one night of panic attacks and three mornings where I felt like my skeleton was trying to escape through my mouth.  Sounds rough, but it’s progress.  I still haven’t found the best time to take the calming pills since they make me drowsy.  Tried in the morning once and it had me dizzy until noon.  Night isn’t worthwhile since the Zzzquil works better.  Experimentation will have to do until I find time to get to a doctor.  Time is limited and the next big thing is to get something on my car handled.  I was going to do that this weekend, but I needed to go somewhere.  Next weekend should work out better.

Wish I had more to excite people with.  Nothing to talk about as far as sales go and I still haven’t decided on how/when to publish the Darwin series.  With my other books not selling at all, it’s hard to justify paying for cover art and taking large chunks of time to edit the books.  I remember being told long ago that the best way to keep selling books is to keep publishing, but that was a lie.  Once ‘Legends of Windemere’ stopped, the majority of my audience left.  Only a handful of people cared to try ‘Ichabod Brooks’, ‘Bedlam’, and ‘War of Nytefall’.  That’s why it’s had to muster any confidence for my next series.  The whole thing has me questioning my abilities, decisions, past, and . . . Well, everything about myself.  Yeah, I know this will earn some optimistic platitudes, but I feel like saying it here.

Television hasn’t been much either.  Still slowly working through ‘Fruits Basket’.  I didn’t get far because of all the appointments that forced me to eat a late dinner.  Then it was get ready for bed and pass out within 30 minutes.  That might have been part of the problem since the food didn’t have much time to digest.  This coming week doesn’t have any late night appointments, so I should be able to shed a good amount of anxiety.  Fingers crossed there.

Goals of the week:

1. Sleep better.
2. Help son with homework.
3. Investigate more meditation and calming techniques.
4. Write at least one more chapter of Darwin & the Demon Game.
5. Finish the April blog posts.
6. Bike at least twice this week.
7. Prepare more tax stuff.
8. Puzzle time when too stressed.
9. Order some manga from the library to read while stuck in an office for 4 hours in a few weeks.  (Long story.)
10. Maybe a Super Bowl meme post for the 12th to get it off my mind.