Try as I might, I can’t avoid showing what Darwin is capable of. I talk about the chaos he can create, but I don’t believe I’ve put up a scene where you see him in action. The chase kind of showed it, but that was nothing compared to his true antics. To be fair, Darwin doesn’t mean to make messes. They just tend to happen.
Darwin bursts out of the cornfield at the edge of the village and is immediately surrounded by the dwarves. They aim their tools and weapons at the intruder, who is on the verge of tears and bouncing on his toes. Scared and confused, he scrambles to pull a sickle off his belt and grips the dull weapon in his hands. With his eyes closed, the halfling frantically swings the greenish blue blade to block a pitchfork, which becomes covered in daffodils. Darwin swings wildly to hit weapons, the ground, and bodies until the flowery citizens run away. Unaware that he is alone, he spins with his arms out and hits the nearby cornstalks. They sprout thorny roses along the ears, which causes them to fall to the ground with dull thuds. Mistaking the sounds for footsteps, Darwin continues blindly fighting his nonexistent enemies until he is gasping for air and the flower-sprouting spell has infected a large swath of the cornfield.
Opening his eyes, Darwin smiles at his victory, but a shout from behind causes him to run screaming into the village. Trained guards hurry to stop him, so he reaches into a patchwork pouch at his hip. Pulling balls of fluff out of the bag, he hurls the objects at his enemies, who cautiously slow their charge. All of the projectiles transform into a variety of furry animals before they land on the warriors. Mice, rabbits, and rats scramble down the dwarves and scurry towards the nearest food source while badgers angrily scratch at their target’s armor. Two beavers hurry to a wooden house to begin eating, but they are reduced to their puffball form by a single swipe of a guard’s sword. The halfling turns and runs into the nearest alley, which becomes blocked after he accidentally knocks over a stack of barrels.
“Sleep!” Darwin shouts when he nearly bumps into a farmer.
The dwarf’s eyes close and she falls backwards, the club held over her head thudding to the floor. Darwin jumps when people begin screaming in terror and he looks around for the source of their fear. Not realizing they are scared of his magic, he assumes there is an invisible creature and sprints down the street in a greater panic. Anyone who gets in his way are left snoring in the street after he yells his one-word incantation. Half the time, he knocks out several people coming at him from behind or hiding in the nearby buildings. Unaware of his terrible aim and lack of control, he continues rushing through the dirt streets and plunging dwarves into magical slumbers. He finally stops when his throat starts hurting and prevents him from shouting the spell. Seeing a barrel, the halfling hurries over to get a drink in spite of all the noise and chaos, which is steadily consuming the entire village.
“The caster is over there!” a guard shouts from down the road.
Having had his head in the water barrel, Darwin does not realize they are getting closer until he comes up for air. Through wet hair, he spots the guards and yelps before yanking on a black glove covered in lightning symbols. Unnerved by the strange object, the dwarves hold their position while the halfling backs away. A distant voice shouting his name causes Darwin to slap the ground and create a nerve-wracking boom. There is a faint wave of electricity, which ripples through the earth and knocks several people off their feet. One second later, the energy ripples back to the handprint in the road to set off a small explosion. A blinding spray of dirt and pebbles are launched at the guards while the halfling is rocketed above the rooftops by a barely visible pillar of force.
Flailing wildly, Darwin checks his pockets until he finds a coin with a grinning jester on both sides. He throws the enchanted money at the ground where it immediately transforms into a towering oak. With the giant plant in his path, he no longer fears crashing into the ground, so he calmly reaches out to catch a branch. Gripping the limb with his gloved hand, a surge of energy runs through the tree, which explodes into a rain of wooden shrapnel. Like before, Darwin is sent flying by the relic’s power and he hurtles towards the other side of the village. Pulling out another coin, he throws it into his path in time to have a two-story house appear to slightly cushion his fall. The instant his covered hand strikes the roof, the boom glove goes off and he finds himself back in the air. Repeatedly forgetting to be careful, he tosses jester coins and blows up whatever large objects they turn into, which drives the dwarves out of the village. Heading for a windmill, Darwin creates a full aquarium complete with fake fish, his landing causing the relic to activate. Without having anything solid to set off the full spell, the boom glove immediately becomes dormant and partially slides off the halfling’s hand. Enough magic escapes to shatter the tank and send the water down the street to wash away everything in its path.
“I’m sorry!” Darwin yells once he finishes sputtering and coughing.