(This was heavily inspired by one of my favorite books growing up. Dr. Seuss’s ‘You’re Only Old Once’ had a part called the Pill Drill. I loved it as a kid even though I didn’t know what it meant. It was just silly to me. Now, I understand it all too well.)
You take the blue pill for your cough
But it leaves you with an ache.
You swallow square pills for the ache
But then you get a rash.
You smear the ointment to erase the rash
But you wake up with oozing ears.
You use a wash to clean your ears
But you lose your sense of taste.
You chew on green pills to revive your tongue
But gain a burning in your gut.
You drink the potion to ease your gut
But now you have the runs.
You pop an enema to stop the runs
But it costs you all your hair.
You bathe in lotion to regrow your hair
But it makes you hear dark voices.
You slurp a syrup to stop the voices
But now you cannot use your legs.
You have the surgery to walk again
But your lungs fill up with pus.
You inhaler the mist to erase the pus
But it leaves you with a cough.