Welcome to the Magic Soup Shop!

Soup!

As the sign said, welcome to the soup shop.  I’m Stanley and everything you see on the menu is my own design.  You want to request your own?  Sorry, but we’re not one of your fancy Olde Shoppes.  We were supposed to be, but I came up with a better idea.  Yeah, that does seem to be a trend lately.  Take a look at the menu.  Feel free to ask if we have anything you don’t see because we’re always adding to it.  Why do the descriptions look like they belong to potions?  Because our soups are potions.  Had a wee bit of an oopsie on the business license, so our potions have to be in soup form.  Enjoy.

  • Chicken Soup– Grants the ability of flight.  Due to chicken limitations, it is VERY limited flight.
  • Tomato Soup–  Clears diseases and improves skin, but turns customer red.
  • Matzo Ball Soup–  Grants the ability to grow in size by absorbing moisture in the air.
  • Lentil Soup–  Grants the ability to climb walls like a spider.  Comes with a fear of magazines.
  • Minestrone Soup–  Random ability depending on ingredients.
  • Wonton Soup–  Grants ability to roll into a ball and move around.  Not responsible for spine injuries.
  • French Onion Soup–  Toxic breath due to high onion usage.  Not really a power, but an inevitable side-effect.  Ability is x-ray vision.
  • Italian Wedding Soup–  Grants ability to charm those around you . . . Power cannot be aimed or turned off for an hour after activation.
  • Egg Drop Soup–  Grants ability to turn into thin strands and pass through openings.  Be careful about body getting knotted.
  • New England Clam Chowder–  Grants super strength, but customer will forever be a Patriots fan.
  • Miso Soup– Grants ability to breath underwater and swim like a fish.  Customer will smell like a fish for 2 weeks.
  • Chicken Tortilla Soup–  Grants telepathy, but we don’t know why.
  • Barley Soup–  Nothing happens aside from a burnt tongue if you don’t let it cool.
  • Gumbo– Grants super strength, but hourly indigestion.
  • Chili–  Grants ability to breathe fire.  Throat and mouth will be in pain.
  • Ice Cream Soup–  Grants icy sneezes and diabetes.
  • Beer Soup–  Grants invulnerability, but power only works when members of the opposite sex are watching.
  • Carrot Soup–  Grants enhanced senses.  All rabbits in a 50 mile radius will be attracted to customer.
  • Cream of Soups–  All varieties are healing potions with no side-effects, risks, or interesting taste.
  • Kitchen Sink Pho–  All versions of Pho combined to grant rainbow blast powers to the customer.  Please see doctor if beam is fired from any orifice aside from mouth.
  • Ramen–  Grants super speed and energy to stay awake for 3 days.  Customer’s finances reduced to that of a college student.
  • Shark Fin Soup–  Grants the ability to fly.  Due to ‘shark’ limitations, it is VERY limited flight.
  • Split Pea Soup–  Grants the ability to summon a fog.  You can’t see through it.
  • Bisque–  Grants ability to talk to animals, but you can only give them compliments.
  • Porridge–  Grants ability to walk through walls.  Customer will forever be chased by bears.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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18 Responses to Welcome to the Magic Soup Shop!

  1. L. Marie says:

    Hilarious! 😅 😂 🤣 I’ll have to tell my mother that her favorite soup has turned her from a Cowboys fan into a Patriots fan. She won’t like that!
    I guess I have telepathy! Yikes! I saw what that did to Charles Xavier.

    Like

  2. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Fancy a change of diet?

    Like

  3. What a humorous post, Charles. There were some real laugh out loud descriptions. As one who likes orifice jokes and Pho, I liked Kitchen Sink Pho a lot.

    Like

  4. Good one, Charles! 🙂

    Like

  5. V.M.Sang says:

    Love these soups. Your imagination knows no bounds.

    Like

  6. noelleg44 says:

    What fun, Charles! Especially since we have quite a stock of soup in our pantry. I’ll have to print out your descriptions so we can understand what we’re having! I personally like minestrone!

    Like

  7. So much creativity and fun here. I needed this right now, thanks.

    Like

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