Hope you enjoyed the long walk. Have a glass of cool water before we start. Cold water will hurt your stomach after dealing with the heat. Now, I assume you’ve already purchased the area for building. We do many things here, but real estate isn’t in our bag of tricks. Please don’t touch the lamps. No, they don’t have genies. We recently had them polished and you look greasy. So, let’s take a tour and you can tell me what you want for your oasis.
Size and shape is very important because that will determine the animals that you get. We can supply you with some fauna, but best to let nature do most of the work there. I would recommend a circular lake that has a lengthy shallow end if you wish to have a flock of flamingos. Yes, it can work with a crescent with one part being shallow and then a steep drop off for a deep end. How far down are you going since this is a desert? That’s a lot, so I need to see the surveys done to make sure we aren’t going to bust into an old catacomb or do any damage to the landscape. Don’t worry about the water. One of the rocks will be a disguised generator that catches the evaporated particles and returns them to the lake. It’s like a small, personal water cycle that works as long as scorpions don’t get into the subterranean wiring.
Let’s move on to the rock formations. They aren’t necessary, so the generator can be disguised as something else. We recommend having something in this category to ward off suspicion. People get testy if they think it’s a fake oasis. May I recommend this curved remnant of an ancient mountain range? It will grant a lot of shade for travelers and animals as well as a place for you to set up a little shop if you wish. The one downside to this design is that the winds will steadily erode it, but we have programs that promise a replacement every few years. I’ll put you down for one and our variety boulder pack, which you can place at your leisure.
Speaking of shade, you can’t go wrong with palm trees. We have every variety and nobody really cares if they aren’t native to the area. There hasn’t been a case of them spreading out of our creations, but you can take precautions if you want. Short grasses along the shore and bushes can help to attract smaller animals. We have a few fruit trees that may be of interest to you. Peaches can work, but apricots and olives are other possibilities if you want to branch out. That third option can be of use if you want to open a shop because it can be made into a food, oil, and a variety of other products. I wouldn’t go too far with the plants though. They reduce the amount of water you have because they get thirsty, so you don’t want to overload the system. Give some space for animals and passing visitors too.
Now for the very important part. Cursed or not cursed oasis? Don’t be so surprised about that question. Many places like this will hold a danger or two. Keeping your design in mind, your choices are limited. Not enough space for a lost building and a monster that emerges during certain periods of time would be wasted. The latter is possible, but you would have to lure victims to its lair every month to keep it happy. Otherwise, it will begin devouring the oasis animals and ownership. No, we don’t provide a refund in case of ingestion since you have just been warned against it. There is this very deep part of the lake, which would be hard for anyone to get too. A cursed statue can be put down there and nobody would know unless they went looking. We have the standard curses too such as plagues, boils, rotting skin, amnesia, murderous rage, chronic athlete’s foot, allergy to your favorite food, creaky hips, Babel tongue, and unleashing the hordes of the underworld in search of the trespasser’s soul. I’m a big fan of that last one too, so I’ll add it to your package.
Well, that’s all the major stuff. I’d tell you to go over the rest with Jamie, but it seems your time is up. We’re not closing. Never existed in the first place. This store is only a mirage created by your dehydrated mind after getting lost in the desert. You’ve been chugging sand this whole time. Goodnight.