I think I use Frodo up there a lot more than I realize. Anyway, it’s the end of 2019 and . . . Okay, I’m writing this on October 20th, 2019 because I want to end the year writing War of Nytefall: Ravenous instead of blog posts. That and I don’t think my opinion can change much at this point. With any luck, I’ve got my TA Level III certification, but I only put in for it at the beginning of the month. Now, what else can I say about this year that I haven’t said on a bunch of Saturdays?
Seriously, I’ve been an emotional wreck and I think people have steered clear of me because of it. I’m not the type to take positive statements when I’m in a bad mood and prefer to vent it out of my system. I sure have had a lot to vent about too:
- Only published one book.
- Sales plunged into the toilet.
- Very little writing time.
- Stress of keeping things off the blog.
There were some major events even though none of them involved writing. One was the summer job, which I’m going to get out of the way. I did have a lot of fun working at a camp and it meant I got to take my son to his first professional baseball game. Sure, it was the Mets, but most kids start with that around here. The only thing that went wrong here was that I had no break between school and summer job. I entered it tired and got very worn down, which wasn’t good because I was trying to handle a lot of emotional stuff at the time. If I hadn’t been going through so much then I would have had a lot more fun and been less stressed.
On the other end of the spectrum was the Teaching Assistant job, which I’m loving every minute of. I’m trying really hard to not be my naturally negative self, but I do slip at times since I’ve been downtrodden for so long. Still, I like hanging out with my new friends and the days go quickly. I never roll out of bed wanting to not go into work. I will roll out of bed wanting to crawl back into the warmth since it got cold, but that’s something else entirely.
Guess it’s time to get the big thing out of the way. It really cast a shadow over the entire year even though it started in 2018. Mostly because I finally felt like I could mention it on here. Months of calling it the ‘life event’ caused problems because people were trying to give me advice or comfort when they didn’t know what it was. I didn’t take that well since I was practically a wounded animal who couldn’t tell if he was healing or simply waiting for death to take him. I mean, I spent half my life with her and then it was gone in the blink of an eye. Still gives me pangs of chest pain. Probably going to have to deal with that for a while because I’m a creature of memories. I enjoy telling stories about my past and thinking back to those times, but she’s there so often. The ranting still comes pretty fast as you can see.
I think I’ll always look at 2019 as the Year of Divorce. Unfortunately, that was the highlight of the year. Kind of sad now that I look at it.