Ode to the Single Father

Woman are naturally better
Men can’t do it alone
You don’t know what you’re doing
Movies make us the butt of jokes
Bungling at home
Lacking of common sense
And lucky to avoid destruction
Desperately seeking a mate
To take over
Because fathers aren’t mothers
*
Reality and fiction
Have been cruel and harsh
Yet we continue on
To raise and love our kids
Neither less nor more than mothers
Ignoring those who say we are wrong
That fathers can’t be nurturers
Spoken by those
Who can never fill our shoes
Or understand our path
*
The lone parent
Mother or father
Lives a life of smiles and stress
Yet one is prized
And the other is treated
Like a unicorn
Or a freak of nature
I ignore the stares and comments
Because I have a job to do
And it is not for the weak
________________________________________________________

This might be a little darker and whinier than I intended.  As I’ve established previously, I’ve gotten a lot of grief for being a stay-at-home and a single dad.  People really don’t think fathers can raise a child.  This frustrates me because I’m trying my best and working hard given the situation.  Anyway, this week has really been one where I just needed to let off some steam.  Thanks for indulging me.  We’ll be back to more humorous topics next week.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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23 Responses to Ode to the Single Father

  1. All you can do, is all you can do, Charles – keep smiling the whole time – it makes everyone else wonder why and drives them nuts 😎

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Brandon Lee says:

    The pursuit of happiness starring will Smith

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You’re not alone in this frustration. It’s always bugged me how our society seems to laugh at the father’s role and idealize the mother’s one. This seems to be one of the deepest prejudices I’ve encountered so far. I work from home, so I spend a lot of time with Natalie (aka the wee one). Many times I’m at the playground with her and people assume her mom must hiding somewhere, as if it’s unthinkable Natalie could be there just with me. And so many of my friends have gone through messy divorces that have seen courts blatantly favor mothers, as if we, fathers, are incapable of taking care of our children.

    I doubt this prejudice is going away any time soon, as it’s systematic. If it’s any consolation, I do see signs of progress, albeit at glacial speeds.

    Apologies for the rant; you just happened to touch upon one of my pet hates!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. L. Marie says:

    I’m sorry that you have had to put up with the negative opinions of others. They’ve never been in your shoes, so what do they know?

    I mentioned to you before about a friend who is a stay at home dad. He gets looks when he takes his kids to the park and comments from people who feel free to voice an opinion, however uncalled for. 😡

    Liked by 1 person

  5. tidalscribe says:

    Our friend lost both his mother and step mother and was raised by his father who obviously did an excellent job at a time when it was unusual. I have noticed with other fathers and sons on their own it is a very calm atmosphere. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jennie says:

    You tell ‘em, Charles!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Renee says:

    I’m sorry you’re having to deal with such ignorant people. I was really close to my dad and in my experience, he was more nurturing than my mother was. He was the affectionate one, while my mother was quite often very emotionally distant. The idea that a man can’t raise his children as well as a woman can is a stereotype that has been disproven time and again. It’s why courts don’t automatically favor the mother in custody battles anymore.

    Like

    • I’ve been wondering about the custody thing. People talk to me as if it’s still that way and it does seem like it’s easier for a father to lose than the mother. Slightest issue and he’s limited while the mother needs to be an obvious train wreck to be seen as a bad parent. It’s a big source of my stress at times.

      Like

      • Renee says:

        Yeah, I think it really depends on where you live. Some states have old-fashioned outdated values that have been proven to be detrimental to the welfare of children. Most places now favor a shared care kind of thing so that both parents are equally involved in the child’s life, including having the child live with both parents on a part-time basis. They’ve found kids thrive in situations where the parents can still work together to raise the children. Of course, that’s not always possible for one reason or another, so they’ll look at what’s best for the child and it’s not always the mother. Most places also frown on behaviors by either parent that puts the child in the middle of their fight so to speak. Like talking badly about the other parent or making the child feel like they have to choose sides. I had that happen to me, and I can tell you first hand that it’s a horrible way to grow up.

        Like

      • Working together is the tough one. We’re on opposite sides of various issues. This doesn’t bode well for finding middle ground. The rest is all a rough patch. There are weeks when the only time we talk is with our son around.

        Like

      • Renee says:

        Yeah, that does make it difficult. Hope everything gets sorted quickly so you guys can get on with life.

        Like

  8. Bhagyashree says:

    This is beautiful. I am sorry about how you have been treated in the past, but people like you carve new pillars of strength in the society. Kudos to you!

    Like

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