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Last September, Nyx wrote a list of tips for mounting a rescue mission.  To give the opposing view on this and in the name of equality, we’re going to make a list of ways to stop the good guys.  This isn’t because I forgot about the previous post, went hunting for a funny pic, and am currently too lazy to think of another topic.  Nope.  Well, maybe that started it, but this should be fun.  Not that I could get any of the characters to host it since they’re all busy.  Jerks.

1. Remember to lock the door and keep the keys on you.  I can’t tell you how many times a rescue succeeds because somebody didn’t check the door.  Not to mention the problem with giving it to a lackey who hasn’t slept well in days.  Do we really need to see another rescue made by stealing the keys off a guard who mistook Nyquil for Dayquil?  This is the easiest way to stop a rescue.
2. You can always have too many decoys, but you can also have too few.  I’m not talking about prisoners that your enemies might mistake for their friend.  Fake prisoners really only work if the rescuers have never seen their target, which doesn’t happen as often as one would think.  Not with the Internet and smartphones.  I’m talking fake guards and gun posts.  Your enemies will move slower and be more cautious if they don’t know what’s real and what’s a trap.  This gives you plenty of time to catch them.
3. Traps are a great way to kill, injure, or slow down potential rescues.  Don’t only have them for the way in, but try to set up a few that are activated when people are trying to escape.  Possibly have it that opening the cell door a certain way turns them on.  I’ll leave that up to you.  One thing you REALLY need to remember is that your guards need to know where all the traps are.  Nothing is more embarrassing than your own men setting off the traps and clearing a path for your enemies.
4. Run drills to keep yourself and your guards aware of how a rescue can happen.  This will help you learn the entry and exit routes that you can’t afford to cover because budget cuts are hitting everyone.  There are some dangers here.  Make sure you don’t assign a team that turns out to be the heroes in disguise.  Also, do something to stop the guards from shooting the testers.  Unless you use those that have displeased you and they can get back on your good side if they survive the test.  Just throwing some HR ideas out there.
5. Misinformation can make the difference in a successful rescue operation and a disaster.  No idea how heroes manage to find maps to the villain headquarters.  It just falls into their laps even if you’ve done all you can to stop leaks.  Might as well use this to your advantage and have some fake dungeons or dead end passages.  Tell the guards that there are secret passages in case they’re the moles.  Easiest way to do this is to hire an expert that knows how to spread misinformation.  That’s what I did and I’ve cut my rescuer intrusions in half.
6. Get some pets that roam around the castle.  These can be mundane animals or exotic monsters, but the main point is that they move around and obey you.  One of the hardest things to plan for is a danger that can be anywhere and do anything.  Humans do patrols while an animal simply wanders.  Sure, a hero can plan to run into them, but that doesn’t mean it will be on their terms.  Probably a good idea to make sure they don’t eat the guards too.
7. Don’t capture people in the first place.  No reason to deal with irritating rescuers if there’s nobody to be rescued.  Sieges are so much easier to handle.  They’re only coming to kill you, which means you can hide or leave a decoy.  Just make life easier for yourself and avoid the headache.