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You’re not a priest, are you? We have to ask because that would get us in a lot of trouble since we aren’t dealing in regular spells. There’s a small market for forbidden magic, but it’s still very lucrative. First, I need you to sign this wavier that says we will not be held responsible for how you use this spell. Any mention of this store, employees, or deal will be met with magical repercussions. To be very clear, I mean you’ll explode and take out everyone who heard you. Don’t try to write it down either because that will cause your hands to melt. Funny how these curses are allowed while these others are sealed for eternity. At least the gods think they are. So, what are you looking for?
Forbidden healing spells are rare, but we have a few on the books. Most of them are banned because they create an environmental imbalance or something. Take this one that wipes out a disease. Sounds good on the surface, but there’s a side-effect that something worse appears to replace it. This puppy was sealed after one of the ancient kingdoms fell to a series of diseases until only a small boy survived. Rumors have it that he’s still in the ruins because the sickness refuses to let him die. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to touch anything like this either.
It would help to know what you need this for and why a normal spell won’t work. War injuries on a massive scale? That’s tough and I can guess why regular healing spells aren’t enough. People will die because you run out of energy or you wait too long. I should tell you that you have to accept such a fate, but you wouldn’t believe it since your’e here. To be honest, I don’t know of much that will help you. Your heart’s in the right place, which is why I’ll help you. Give me a minute.
This is a forbidden spell that will allow you to heal an entire army at once. Covers bruises, broken bones, lost limbs, open wounds, and whatever else is earned on the battlefield. It ignores anything that happened outside of battle, but it sounds like you don’t need to worry about that. Yeah, it’s hard to understand why this one is banned. Well, there’s a side-effect that the gods don’t like. It’s a strange one too. Whoever is healed by this spell will be healed without any lasting pain or effect from the injury. In return for another chance at life, they will become wandering spirits upon death. There is no path to the afterlife for them and even worse for the caster. You will lose your life as a man and become something else. No idea what that is. Guess you’ll have to find out the hard way if you’re still interested.
Okay then sign here and pay at the front desk. Nice doing business with you and I hope it all works out. Shame to see a goodhearted kid go down a road like this. On the plus side, we’ll get to figure out what the side-effect is. Hey, I didn’t say it was good for you.
Legends of Windemere 
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Just realised I haven’t reblogged one of Charles’ great Magic Shoppe articles for a spell (sorry – pun intended 😄)
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Thanks for the reblog. Haven’t done one of these for a while due to the October event.
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I enjoy them a lot Charles 👍😃
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Me too. 😸
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I always love these cafes. Though the forbidden spells sound very dangerous. I have to laugh at the fact that the small boy is kept alive because the diseases won’t let him die.
I’d love the one that heals an entire army. But the side effects are particularly brutal!
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Forbidden spells are forbidden for a reason. Usually because of danger. Occasionally, it’s because people are too embarrassed to cast it.
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I can imagine. Who wants a spell that causes you eternal problems?
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Sure there’s someone. Maybe if they ignore the warning signs or figure it’s an exaggeration.
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You don’t have something that will cure stupid do you? I find I’m faced with an epidemic of it and would like to purchase enough to have on hand no matter the occasion. Stupid does not take a holiday it seems. Also do you accept Master Card or Visa?
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Sorry. Closest we have are death spells. One does increase intelligence, but people with your request usually mean wisdom and common sense. A smart person can still be wisdom deficient.
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Pity. I was about to order a dozen. At least.
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Do you really want a bunch of highly intelligent people with the same level of wisdom? It’d be that they can make a doomsday device, but lack the foresight to not use it.
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You’ve been reading Brave New World, haven’t you? With all that talk of an island where all the Alphas went. That experiment didn’t end well, apparently.
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Actually I’ve never read it. Should probably look into it.
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You should. It might give you a few ideas for Bedlam 🙂
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Maybe. I’m always nervous about getting inspiration from classics. Like I might come too close to the original concept.
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You’re one of the most creative and original authors I know. I wouldn’t worry about it 🙂
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Eh, I get lazy too. I had one series I had to scrap because it was nearly identical to Neon Genesis Evangelion. Have to be careful around things that draw me in.
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Give me the death spell. Can I get that super sized?
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Sure, but no refunds even if you’re a ghost. Sign the waiver here, here, and here for us to have no liability.
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Does this stuff work fast? I hope I don’t need to have to wait too long.
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That makes me fear that you’re using it wrong. Forbidden spells take time unless you’re a channeler. A rushed spell tends to go wonky.
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Drat. Maybe I better learn more before I try it.
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Good idea. Zombies are always a possibility.
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🙂
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This made me laugh. Entertaining. 🙂 😀
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Thanks. Happy to create laughs.
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You are welcome. 🙂
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Do you have a forbidden spell that can make everyone in a city have skin that glows a rainbow of neon colors? I’m not a priest and I only want it to use as a practical joke.
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Great post. I love the Old Shop ones.
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Definitely fun to do. Getting harder to think of wares though.
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Challenges make us stronger. I just invented one for the Thanksgiving edition of Lisa Burton Radio. Nobody wanted to take a chance on that day, so she interviewed an urban legend.
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Interesting. Surprised nobody went for the day. More people home.
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It’s risky. Could be huge, could flop. It’s okay, I found something to make it fun.
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And that’s the important part.
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These are always such fun!
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Thanks. 🙂
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Great fun, Charles. A smile on a dreary Monday morning. 🙂
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Glad to hear it. Are there any other types of Mondays? 😉
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