Typically, the little guy is about as sneaky as an elephant in a living room.  Trust me when I say that makes sense in my head.  So he’ll come running down a hallway yelling about how he’s going to hug you.  He tends to announce his actions or walk into a room screaming a greeting.  So when he does sneak off somewhere, it’s pretty nerve-rattling for me.  I always expect him to pop right up behind me since he’s been my little shadow for years.  Here are the four best heart attack moments with him ‘vanishing’:

The Bounce House Place

My wife and I took the little guy to a Bouncy Castle Place over the summer.  He ran around with the horde of kids as they enjoyed the 5-6 bouncy areas and a tube structure.  At one point, he was the lone kid on a bouncy Pirate Ship.  I looked around and saw that there was only one way in and out.  As a few more kids went in, my wife told me she had to stop out for a second.  She was explaining something and I thought I was keeping an eye on my son since I was standing next to the ONLY entrance/exit to this thing.  The wife went off and I took a peek inside the Pirate Ship to find that someone wasn’t in there.  Took a minute (felt like 5 minutes) to make sure he wasn’t hiding.  I went walking up and down the play area in search of him, including asking a few of the workers if they saw a blonde-haired moppet running around.  I found him asking other adults where his mommy and daddy went.  He scrambled out for the half a second my back was turned, but I thought my wife (who was facing him) would notice.  Nope.  Tend to forget she isn’t the most alert person due to her ADD.  Anyway, I found him and we had a discuss about making sure we know where he is.  Then he gave me the same lecture because I admitted that I wandered off too.

I Know He’s In This House!

It’s rare that I don’t know where my son is in the house.  I can usually hear him or swiftly check his usual haunts.  Well, he found a new one when he was 3.  Now I wasn’t there when he disappeared because I went to take a shower.  Again the wife was distracted and my wife didn’t have her ears in, which my son takes full advantage of when he picks up on the fact.  I came down asking where he was and nobody knew.  The search was on and we had no idea.  Then I went into my parents’ room and noticed a bit of blankie sticking out from behind the bed.  He crawled into the space beneath the headboard and curled up for a nap.  Not the easiest place to get him out of because nobody could fit in there and every piece of ‘bait’ was snatched and pulled back into his new lair.

Our One Attempt at a Movie Night

One day in 2012, my wife and I did something we hadn’t done for a while.  We went to an evening movie while my parents watched the little guy.  This was back when we still used a baby monitor and he was used to sleeping in a bed instead of a crib.  Well, we came back from the movie and my wife went to ask my parents how things went.  They said things were great and he was asleep.  I had gone upstairs, but about halfway up I saw a shadow dart across the hallway and into my son’s room.  He was ‘asleep’ in his bed with the blanket over him.  In our room, I found a stack of DVD’s in the middle of the floor and a pile of papers in the dirty laundry.  Also someone had left a pair of shoes by the door.  I think the best part is that I asked him if he was a sleep and he confidently said yes.  We haven’t tried a night movie since then because we know he’d do the same stunt, but with more mischief.  Matinees are cheaper anyway.

The BIGGEST Heart Attack

When my son was 3, he demonstrated a strange temperature allergy.  If he went from a hot area to a cold area or vice versa then he broke out into hives.  You can already tell where this is going and it was during a very chilly November.  In fact, I believe it was on Thanksgiving.  Everyone was running around and I had rushed to the basement to do a little laundry.  It was one of those moments where everyone thought someone else had the kid.  I walked upstairs and didn’t hear him.  I wandered around asking if anyone had seen him and then I heard him singing.  I was searching for around 10 minutes and add the 5 that I spent in the basement.  Where was he?  We have a Sun Room, which is connected to the kitchen by a door that had remained closed.  He wandered out there, closed the door behind him, and sat at the table in 30-40 degree weather.  He had stripped down to his t-shirt and diaper too.  Normally it’s the mother that screams the kid’s name and runs for him, but it was me.  He was freezing when I grabbed him and complaining that I was ruining his fun as I rushed him back into the house.  Though he thought the ‘tickling’ was entertaining even though it was me warming him up.