Now if violence happens with no reaction then sex/relationships have the opposite problem. Many authors take an approach that the best way to stir things up is to screw with a romantic subplot. That is a good method, but you have to work towards it instead of hurling it off a cliff without warning. Part of this might be that you get an easy reaction with storylines that incorporate adultery, love, and romance of any nature.
A difficulty appears when one wants to shake up a romantic subplot on a whim. You need to plan it out or it will come off as shocking. Yes, you will get readers who still don’t see it coming because they are emotionally invested in the characters. So don’t expect to impress everyone. Still, set a few things up beforehand to make sure there are clues that it isn’t a rock solid relationship. For example, the characters can fight from time to time and each debate escalates in anger. If they break up or one cheats then it won’t come off as a last minute decisions. The same thing goes for when two characters marry. If they come off as hating each other then it won’t make much sense for them to fall into perfect marital bliss.
More importantly, you need to have the proper reactions in romantic subplots. If the characters are in an established open relationship then the reaction to ‘cheating’ shouldn’t be the same as if they were monogamous. In the same vein, a character who is cheated on shouldn’t simply walk away without a care and shrug it off unless they’ve established such a reaction to betrayal. Again, it’s very important to have your characters remain true to themselves.
There is another important aspect to the romance, which always comes up and tends to be mentioned more than another other part: SEX! This is a weird one because there is that joyous double standard that male characters can sleep around while female characters are frowned at if they do. Let’s not even go down this route. Putting gender aside, I think sex is different for every person, so each character should react in their own way. Some are anxious about it while others think it’s nothing more than a hobby. One part I always try to consider is if the character needs emotional connections for sex or they can settle for the physical. There are so many dynamics to this side of a relationship that I could keep going and still miss parts of it.
To sum up this rambling mess, authors should put some foreshadowing into a doomed relationship. This eases the impact and avoids making it look like a desperate attempt to shake the story up. Also, have the characters change from this event instead of remaining the same. Unless they were never in love or cared about each other in the first place.
Legends of Windemere 
The first thing I was taught by my editor at Mills and Boon was to mention people who might figure in a relationship as early as possible, otherwise you risk making your story look as if you’d made it up as you went along. Which the readers don’t like. At all.
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Good advice. Though, does that go for series as well? I’m just thinking about how in my books one of the romances ‘peaks’ at the end of book 1 and it’s a 15 book series. That seems to be a big clue that bumps and chaos will ensue, but some of the other players aren’t introduced for a few books.
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15? Blimey. You won’t be able to mention them all straight off, otherwise your first few chapters will look like a telephone directory. No, as a rule, just signal the protagonists of whichever romantic entanglement you’re working on. It’s easier for you and the reader to keep track that way. But readers always love it when someone they already know drops back in. Good luck!
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Recurring characters are certainly fun. Fantasy adventures allow for a lot of openings. In fact, I get to make a few long overdue returns in my newest book that I started up yesterday. Thanks.
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I was criticized for having casual sex without building up the romance beforehand. I think you have to recognize that some people are going to judge by their own personal standards. This character was a Bohemian, independent, free-spirit…but a reader took it personal. A respectable woman would not have sex on the second date…but nobody had said she was respectable. By all accounts, she defied society’s norms.
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I think sex is the big arena for personal preferences. It’s far too common that people assume their thoughts on the subject are the correct ones and everyone who differs is ‘wrong’. A ‘respectable’ woman might wait until marriage, so one who doesn’t might not have been ‘respectable’ in the first place. Or she could be and she has no qualms about sex. It’s a vast world, so it’d be ridiculous for people to have the same standards and thoughts.
Hope you stuck to your guns on that character.
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I did. The relationship started off abruptly and ended abruptly…it was not really a romance novel and I did not want it to read like one. It was a behavior that had dire consequences. I thought it served its purpose well.
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Same with my stuff. Romance is a character building subplot, but it’s still a fantasy adventure at heart. Such a story kind of opens itself to bad luck in love and painful twists.
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Ha. I think the same could be said for the other way around, too. It drives me nuts when there’s no build-up to a relationship. I understand that there can be instant attraction,and I use that a lot, too, because it’s natural, but when it seems that characters have an “Insta-Relationship” (just add Meet-Cute and stir!), I can’t handle it. It doesn’t have to be obvious (actually, scratch that, it shouldn’t be obvious), but I want at least a little build-up before the characters are utterly and genuinely in love with each other. Same with break-ups. If it comes out of nowhere, then it’s just unrealistic. Even real-life break-ups that seem to come out of no where don’t seem so sudden if you look back at the clues that lead up to that moment. An author should pepper these clues throughout the story line so that, while the reader may be shocked or surprised, they can still look back on what got them to that point and realize that it was doomed all along.
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I agree. At the very least, one of the characters should be showing interest before the relationship takes off. In my first book, the guy is kind of oblivious to the advances of the girl. When he does start paying attention, he falls for her pretty quickly. It’s still a little sudden, but only on his side. Need to remember the break-up notes though if/when I have to run with one of those that comes out of nowhere. So far, I think this is the only series I have planned where I try to write a complicated romance. The rest are rather straightforward.
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Whew! From the title, I was worried this might relate to a review of a romance novel. Now it makes a lot more sense. 🙂
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Oops. Didn’t realize that might be an idea.
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That’s probably a good thing. 🙂
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I’m really glad you brought this subject up. I’ve been analyzing why I sometimes feel irked or bored when established characters enter into relationships. I think for me if the author (or script writer) didn’t take the time to generate some chemistry, the relationship will seem to come out of left field. I like a slow burn on a romance.
But I see what you mean about writers messing with romance subplots simply for the sake of adding a love triangle. This happens in young adult fiction many times. I can understand that people’s feelings change. But many times, a couple is sooooo in love in one book. But by the next book, all someone new has to do is walk in the room and the love triangle begins. I’m usually ready to walk away at that point.
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Something I do wonder about with chemistry is if people perceive it differently. Sounds strange to some extent, but I think about Avatar: The Last Airbender. Fans picked different pairings for characters and claimed better chemistry between the too. For example, Aang/Toph, Aang/Katara, and . . . Aang/Zuko. Each ‘side’ claimed the same thing: ‘they have the best chemistry’. Definitely makes a person wonder if the author saw a spark when writing it.
As far as love triangles, they are rather common in the real world, so I can understand why they show up so often. Yet, there really should be a reason or a spark between the two possible pairings. One thing I can’t figure out with a good love triangle is how an author picks the ‘winner’. I ran into that issue with my story. Both couplings have potential and sparks because the central character can lead one of two different lives at the end of the entire series. Each woman appeals to one of those sides, which means I’m rather stuck. Yeah, I have to work on a scene today that involves this subplot, so I’m not sure what I’m doing.
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This is something that is very hard for me to write, because when I write, I find it hard to place myself into the shoes of another. And I am not a person that waits and builds; I see you, I like you, lets get married – this is me 🙂
I do agree though that it is always nice to see a build up, especially regarding the ending of the romance, and it does not necesseraly always have to be woven and inserted into other events. I miss reading about simple emotional mindfucks that break a couple apart. Usualy, it is because of some third element.
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There does seem to be a lack of suspense in recent love triangles. You can tell that the ‘winner’ will be the first guy, which is rather disappointing. I think the complication in a romance does bring up a small danger. A simple one is straightforward and nobody can really question it. Going beyond that seems to draw some readers into the relationship to a point where any curveballs create backlash.
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Its hard for readers at times to accept something as a simple decision by a character/other person, like for example a character saying:”I cheated on him, because I got aroused by the other guy and I wanted to succumb”. Its much easier to digast if you give it a complex backstory or insert a third reason like “It was not what I wanted, I was put under a spell”, for example.
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God forbid any character sleep with someone of their own free will in some stories. I think the ‘spell’ and ‘trick’ has been used too often to create a false set of tension in romantic subplots. It seems so contrived at times and almost like author backtracking.
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I’m not sure how to say this but here’s a try…when you wrote: ” authors should put some foreshadowing into a doomed relationship…” I thought that this is true for writing a poem, too…the foreshadowing of ‘mood’ comes very early on but I believe it’s there – perhaps even unconsciously.
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Good point. Poems do kind of need to set the mood early on since they’re shorter than prose.
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Relationships are tricky little buggers. You are never going to please 100% of your readers when it comes to character relationships. Some people get so involved in the character’s life that they take things seriously as if it happened to them personally. I think you’ve got a really good handle on how “to and not to” write about relationships, Charles. Thanks for these wise words…
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I hope I have a handle, but I’m really thinking I’ll try to avoid love triangles in my future series. They get really confusing when you’re trying not to make it one-sided. I still don’t know who’s supposed to win the one in Legends of Windemere.
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It would be so refreshing not to have a love triangle for a change. That seems to be the way all the YA authors go when it comes to love!
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It isn’t anything new though. People tend to complain when a romance is ‘too perfect’ and a triangle is the best way to put up some obstacles without a break-up or betrayal. I think part of the problem today is that there is a push for every story to have a ‘Twilight-esque’ romance down to the gender roles. I think it worked for Twilight because that was the main plot. Now, people are trying to do other stories that include a triangle as a subplot, but there is more attention being given to the subplot. For example, my 3rd book is mostly about an adventure and other things that I can’t go into. The love triangle kicking off is a subplot that gets touched on for a few scenes and a big part of the final chapter. Yet, some people act like it’s the crux of the entire series. I don’t know. People seem to see what they want.
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People do see what they want! I don’t mind a triangle as long as it isn’t the central theme of the book. Especially, in fantasy. That’s why your books works!! 🙂
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Well, the triangle does take center stage a few times because the stories are character driven. At least in the 7th book.
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