What Do You Look for in a Romance?

Romance HumorThis is not my genre and I barely get it to function in my own books.  I think.  I’ve glossed over romance, but I think I gravitate toward lust or awkward beginnings.  Not the smoothest romantic plotlines, but it’s better than nothing.

There are so many varieties of romance that you can put into your story and it seems some kind of romance turns up in every series.  Even a one-night stand needs something behind it like lust, loneliness, or spite.  You’re writing characters to be believable, so you need to factor in their social relationships.  Again, this is not my area of expertise or knowledge, so I’ll get to the point.

I like romances to be natural, which is probably why the awkward stumbling romance appeals to me.  That feels like how most relationships begin and move on until the wrinkles are ironed out.  Sure, you have your smooth James Bond characters, but I don’t really believe many of those exist.  I’ve met one or two smooth operators, but even they would come across a ‘target’ that they couldn’t sweep into the bedroom.  I have to admit that watching people like that fail is highly entertaining.

Now, I can get behind a love at first sight story or one that runs surprisingly smoothly at the beginning.  Those exist and they can work for a series as long as the author challenges the relationship.  Throw in doubt, loss, betrayal, and whatever you can think of to test the characters.  Make them work for the happy ending even if they got a happy beginning.

So, what do you look for in a romantic plotline?  Do you stay away from them entirely?  Is erotica the best kind of romantic plotline?

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About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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63 Responses to What Do You Look for in a Romance?

  1. Darcy Branwyn's avatar Olivia Stocum says:

    Why do you say you gloss over romance? By the sounds of this post you’ve got a pretty good understand already. I like the awkward phases that bloom into more, but I also like love at first sight that gets tested later. They’re both good. I asked my husband about the James Bond thing once, and he said that only existed in Hollywood.

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    • I don’t put a lot of attention to romance in my stories, so I don’t feel exceptionally confident in there. Everything I wrote was what I try to do. So far, I’m not sure how successful I am with it in my own series.

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  2. Jennwith2ns's avatar Jennwith2ns says:

    The only smooth operators I’ve ever met turned out to be sociopaths. Happily for me, that’s not a dysfunction that attracts me. I tend to gravitate toward alcoholics (though happily I managed to marry someone who isn’t).

    Someone should probably do a study (or a just a novel) on the attraction of dysfunction.

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  3. ninjafrk77's avatar ninjafrk77 says:

    I prefer the emotional tension of not knowing whether or not the other person feels the same way you/your main character does about them. I guess I prefer the emotional tension over the physical. It displays a lot more conflict and reveals a lot more of the characters’ internal workings. To have two people who secretly or unknowingly like one another but have the worst time communicating it or accepting it within themselves; to not understand if the love is purely friendly or is indeed romantic; to have a hard time believing anyone could actually love them; etc. All the while the main conflict of the story is playing out, and this side theme is running and giving the reader a double-whammy of anxiety about whether or not the two characters are going to end up happy, or whether the bad guy is going to squash them both beneath his iron fist.

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    • Alex's avatar Alex says:

      I have the same preference – emotional tension over physical. I think readers can relate to it more and it can be drawn out really well, whereas physical tension is often resolved quickly or becomes uninteresting. The uncertainty of the emotions at play can really hook a reader.

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    • The emotional tension in a romance feels like a necessity. I can’t see an actual romance being deep without something like that. Good point.

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  4. richardstephens1's avatar Richard Stephens says:

    Hey Charles, my novels tend to run about 30% romance, the rest being mystery and humor. That being said, I write romance the same way I write any other emotion – I keep it real. In my case I also keep it clean since my narrator is of the feline persuasion. I once tried to write a steamy love scene with Salty Tails telling it and it came out way to weird for me. Then again, maybe that could be a new genre. Feline erotica.

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    • I can think of a few friends that would like the cat’s perspective on steamy love scenes.

      I don’t do a lot of romance, but I’ve been getting close to steamy scenes with a few characters. Two are kind of in a lust phase, but I can’t bring myself to go any further than innuendo and make-out scenes. Going beyond that feels like it doesn’t fit the tone of my books.

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  5. Teri Polen's avatar tpolen says:

    Romance is just not my genre – try to steer clear of them. I’m generally the curve buster when it comes to female stereotypes.

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  6. tjtherien's avatar tjtherien says:

    Ha ha… the ball is now in my court, since I am writing a story that could best be summed up as a romance,, although I think I am also crossing genre… but the storyline is you general Romance. I believe the two main characters should be revealed slowly layer by layer which is a study in human emotion. Once you have your main characters you have to as a writer give the reader a reason to believe that these two are meant to be together. Then you need to throw in obstacles and things that prevent them from being together. While the characters have their doubts these are thoughts, their feelings should remain unwavering during this period of separation. And then there is the reward of the couple finally getting past the obstacles in their path. If at that point the story is to continue the story will deal with how the couple deal with adversity and manage to stay together… my own story will have a twist when it comes to this in the transition between epochs… that’s all that I will say about that though… as for reading the genre… this is something I tried when I thought about writing for Harlequin in the late 80’s early 90’s and was limited to 2 very poorly books… so needless to say I am trying to separate myself from the genre a little…
    As for Erotica, that is a different beast entirely… that is based on more primal urges… and I believe a genre of it’s own… Erotica normally centers around one person and focuses I believe on keeping emotion out of the equation and the struggles that come with that. I have read quite a bit of Erotica from Nin to du Sade, My general opinion is the more skillful writers are drawn toward writing Erotica over Romance, but both genres have gotten very cheesy…

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    • Great plot work. Obstacles are necessary. Odd thing about erotica is that it seems to be interchanged with romance with some readers. I wonder if that’s a form of rationale for liking it. Romance sounds clean.

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      • tjtherien's avatar tjtherien says:

        personally I think Erotica comes from a place of suppression, the more repressed the darker the fantasy… primal urges will always find an outlet… romance however is our aspiration for loftier emotion, being loftier it is held in higher esteem than those baser emotions but our lives are guided by both sets of rules even though they conflict with one another…

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      • The forbidden and taboo effect definitely comes into play. That thrill of doing something that people see as naughty and wrong. It’s safe when it comes to reading.

        Romance has one issue though because it seems to be predominantly geared toward women, so it has a lot of unattainables in it. Maybe one reason guys aren’t so much into it is because it really comes off as unrealistic.

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    • tjtherien's avatar tjtherien says:

      I am trying to deal with that issue as I write my story… funny enough my followers on that blog are about a 60/40 split so I would say a 40% male audience is pretty good… I think it means I might be breaking some stereotypes… we will see… if it grows in popularity and numbers increase I am sure that demographic will change with it…

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  7. “white people almost kissing” – Lord have mercy, I can’t stop laughing to answer your questions!

    >_<

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  8. L. Marie's avatar L. Marie says:

    I look for a compelling relationship that starts off slow. I’m not a fan of insta-love. Attraction yes. But knowing you’re someone’s soul mate 15 seconds after you meet that person? The tension is gone for me. I don’t have to read the rest of the story, because I already know the ending.

    I like compelling conflict—not the contrived kind that a five-minute conversation would solve. I like high stakes that would make you wonder if a happily ever after is even possible.

    I don’t like abuse. A number of books are written where one character is pretty abusive to the other, yet they’re supposed to fall in love at the end. Sorry. That’s one hurdle I can’t jump over.

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    • What about the insta-love is there and they go through the motions only to find that they aren’t soul mates? Like someone better comes along. Also, how about romances that begin as lust and evolve into love? Yes, I’ve got both scenarios planned for my series. The fun of having an ensemble cast is you get to play out more than one type of romance.

      I never understood the abuse one. Really disturbing.

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  9. anmol's avatar howanxious says:

    You won’t believe me but I’ve read all those books by Nicholas Sparks. In every story, a guy and girl meets, falls in love but it takes a day or two for them to figure it out. They go for a date and have intercourse. They have their doubts, they separate and they meet in the end. Heck, no! This isn’t romance.
    Romance is something that develops gradually. It is plagued by awkwardness, hesitation, doubts, fear, etc. And it doesn’t always end on a happy note. The best example, according to me, is a novel named One Day in which love progresses smoothly and it is sweet, yet sad and it even turns ugly.
    Erotica can be romantic but only if it is just not focused on the physical anatomy of male and female body. Because love is emotional; it is a feeling.

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    • I agree with almost everything, but I do think romance can also be quick and confusing. The love at first sight strikes me as something that would the equivalent of emotional lightning to the face. It can work if done correctly. Though that’s just me. I’ve used both in my series so far.

      There’s erotica that isn’t focused on the physical anatomy of the characters? I learned something new today.

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  10. S.K. Nicholls's avatar sknicholls says:

    I never got into the romance novel reads. I read some historical romance that I liked from the old south, and who will ever forget Scarlett and Rhett?

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  11. I pretty much look for Jane Austen in my romance. I don’t read modern romance at all, it was never something that appealed to me, whatever time or setting it was placed in, but I do so adore Jane Austen (and I’ve recently discovered Cathrin Cookson thanks to Netflix, as many of her books were made into movies.) I like the tension of whether a relationship will ever develop, of rooting for the suitor who seems furthest from finishing the race, and strong women who don’t fall for the first man who asks them but keep strong to their principles and wait, even if they acknowledge they may never find a husband. I’m not even sure if these technically class as romance or not, but when I think of “romance” that’s what I think of. ❤

    Though I will point out, JRR Tolkien classified Lord of the Rings as a Romance in the most traditional sense of the word, and that is one of my all-time favorite books, so…

    Your picture made me laugh and groan at once. Maybe it's the covers that turn me off. They say not to judge a book that way, but when the cover is so utterly cheesy I can't imagine the insides to be much better.

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  12. Alex's avatar Alex says:

    I also recently asked this question of my own readers! 🙂 Though I called it ‘love story’, since the romance is often just a side story in my writing. Personally, I look for believability and sustainability. If characters come together too quickly or seem to forget one another entirely while supposedly “pining” for one another, I lose interest. I also enjoy the build up of emotional tension – the time spent wondering whether or not they’ll get together.
    Last year, I joined a Romance-genre book club to further understand the genre and theoretically improve my romantic writing abilities. I thought Romance was the lovey-dovey clean stuff, but quickly found out that there’s a lot of variety! Some of it was definitely more what I’d call ‘Erotica’, but it gets classified as ‘Romance’ – I find that unfortunate.

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  13. I like to read about the struggle in relationships. Initial doubt, hesitation, the excitement and eventual falling in love. I do not like insta-love because it is unrealistic and come over as cliched. Maybe the characters give into their initial lust and later discover that there’s a possibility for something else.The premise in romance of happily ever after is a given, but I like to see a lot of turmoil along the way. Make em work for it…

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    • Working for it is definitely a major factor. I think I’m going to make one of these posts about love triangles or characters ending up with others that you never saw coming. I remember a lot of confusion over Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley because supposedly it came out of nowhere.

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      • I look forward to reading your post. I personally find love triangles to be a turn off. And the out of left field relationships – Harry and Ginny had me flipping back pages, wondering if I’d missed something. Maybe this is why I never read or watched any of the Twilight series. Coming to think of it, I don’t like shows like the Bachelor or Bachelorette. I think relationships are complicated enough without throwing in a third person.

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      • Third person brings drama and acts as the obstacle. It works very well for series because you can flush it out more. I’m trying to work a love triangle in my series, but I hit a point where I don’t know who should win.

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      • Taste is key when it comes to a person. It works if done well, and where both suitors need to have equally strong appeal. Make it hard for the reader to decide who to root for. Also you have to decide what to do with the one who will walk away broken hearted. Maybe he or she will find their someone in the next book of the series. Gotta keep the readers happy. I’ve seen this in romance novels where the author sets out to publish one book but then the readers start badgering for another book because they want character X to have their own story. Food for thought.

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      • This love triangle goes through to the end of the series, so I have time to figure it out. I have it open so that either can win too. Since the series is an action adventure, I can always have death, curse, betrayal, and a lot of other things go wrong. 🙂

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  14. Ellespeth's avatar Ellespeth says:

    I look for something I can relate to or with…real without (too much) sweetness. Can you do that? Hope the day has gone well for you and that sales are making you smile!
    Ellespeth

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    • Sales are going well. The free weekend isn’t blasting off like last time, but it might be time of year causing that. The new book is inching up the rankings. I think I need to get on the top 100 list to repeat what I did last time.

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  15. A.J. Goode's avatar A.J. Goode says:

    I read and write romantic fiction, but I’ve never been a fan of Nicholas Sparks. Give me Nancy Gideon, Candace Camp, Jane Feather, etc. Yes, romance novels are predictable, but for me the fun isn’t wondering IF they are going to get together. It’s about HOW they are going to get there.

    I look for a story with characters who have some good, strong internal conflict. Characters who have to evolve in order to find a happy ending. And I’m not a big fan of erotica because most of those stories tend to be a little lacking in actual plot.

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  16. I love romantic scenes. I use a bit of them, when it’s the right time and I have the right characters! I basically write would I would love to read! (In this I think this is the best advice!)

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  17. Pingback: Revisit: What Do You Look For In Romance? | Legends of Windemere

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