This is an attempt at a children’s story that my friend and I were going to attempt. I finished the writing part, but we never got around to illustrating. Presently, I’m not sure with to do with it. I figured I’ll toss it out here and see if people like it. Every stanza/paragraph is supposed to be a different page/scene.
It happened one morning in the town of Galeep.
A loud noise jerked everyone out of their sleep.
No one knew the cause or had any nerve to see
Except for young Maxie from his fort in the tree.
He could see the whole town from his perch.
From Mr. Kelworth’s big store to his family’s church.
Maxie looked high and low for the source of the sound.
That rattled the windows all over town.
The noise was soon joined by a horrible smell.
It made Maxie’s stomach not feel very well.
But his nose followed the scent as soon as it struck.
Helping Maxie to see a garbage truck gone amok.
Maxie saw no one driving behind the loose wheel.
He wondered if the driver had left the truck for a meal.
Then the truck moved out of park and into a drive.
It headed straight for the road as if it were alive.
Then it made its way to the town of Galeep
Intending to transform the town to a heap.
The truck careened through Galeep from the north to the south.
It hurled pieces of garbage from its mechanical mouth.
Like half-filled tins of green hash and slightly chewed meats
Pizza slices, newspapers, and a box of sour beets.
It followed the streets with a mind of its own
While it covered the stores with grass freshly mown.
It made a quick turn in front of the school
Coating it in buckets of Aunt Bessie’s thick gruel.
Then it went past the library that was closed for the night.
Leaving a pile of used diapers and Maxie’s old kite.
Rusty bikes and dry tissues and bent ceiling fans
The truck spewed all the trash a man could fit in his cans.
Maxie stared in amazement at the garbage around
As the smell started flowing from all of the ground.
Soon the truck swerved off the road to the park
That was thankfully empty because it was still dark.
The truck ran over benches and bumped into trees.
It bounced off a statue that it hit in the knees.
The truck headed toward the pond where Maxie fed ducks
And he knew those small birds had no love for trucks.
The truck hit a hill that made it jump high.
Where it still threw fresh garbage into the sky.
It had enough height to go over the pond
And with a deafening boom it landed beyond.
The garbage truck moved on to the middle of town
Leaving all the places behind it, a little rundown.
Then Maxie heard the siren of all the police
Who had come to the rescue and make the truck cease.
Their lights were all blazing as they went on the chase.
It was time to end this ruckus with haste!
They followed the garbage truck staying back a few yards
As the truck began vomiting used decks of cards.
Soon it hurled up old tires and pots full of cold stew.
While police chased the truck from First Street to Last Avenue.
Hours had passed when the truck swerved to the west
Throwing out one last item: a beaten up chest.
The truck passed the town’s edge and turned to the right.
Within minutes the garbage truck was far out of sight.
Legends of Windemere 
Lovely. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks.
LikeLike
It’s fun.
LikeLike
Thanks.
LikeLike
I like it. I think it has great potential to be a good story. It just needs to be edited a little, to flow off the tongue a little easier ( I think that is really important when writing children’s books as most of the time they are being read aloud. )
I really liked it. It’s a clever idea. My boys would love it and I can hear my daughter saying….ewwwww 😉
LikeLike
Thanks. It’s my first attempt at a children’s story and I hadn’t edited it yet. Mostly, it was something fun that never got further than this. That it’d be interesting to see what people think.
LikeLike
I love the rhythm and cadence of most of it. I love children’s stories read aloud. This has a lot of potential.
LikeLike
Thank you. Seems the experiment is mostly successful. Now to get my illustrating friend to regain his muse.
LikeLike
That’s amusing. If it was mine I would try to give the garbage truck a personality, which seems a cliche for children’s books, but it’s a chiche because it works. The subject matter is perfect, the gross factor that children love. I don’t remember where I saw it, but someone was talking about a book called the Loud Fart, or the Smelly Fart, or something along those lines, and kids were mad about it. The innocence level of that age group makes their sense of grossness more a giggle than a sinister snicker. I like to read kid’s books, and bought my son so many that gave me a lot of story ideas. Some still stick with me, like the Dr. Seuss books. Now that I did that post and some back and forth I’m fascinated by his sense of morality and self-esteem. Do something with this…pursue, pursue…it has some definite value. Might have found a genre that fits you well.
Later…
LikeLike
I practically grew up on Dr. Seuss. I’m not sure about giving the garbage truck a personality. Maybe I’m just not sure how to do it or I’d be too tempted to make it somewhat malicious. Honestly, I don’t even know why it’s driving around without anyone behind the wheel.
I’ve seen that fart book in the bookstore and didn’t know what to think about it. My son isn’t at the age where he understands stuff like that, so I didn’t bother buying it.
LikeLike
I was heavy-handed with the word “personality.” More like the Overlook Hotel in The Shining, how King makes the bioler like a heart, and the sounds an old building makes sync with the emotional feel of the humans actions.
Later…
LikeLike
I get it. Well, (merging comments) I know very little about children’s books beyond reading them. Flying by the seat of my non-magical pants. I could put in a short paragraph that describes the truck better, but I was going to rely on the illustrator for that. If I could find an illustrator that is.
LikeLike
Chirrens imaginations are so active they would probably connect the dots better without too much of the guidance adults come to rely upon after schools and colleges and universities squeeze the subjective view out of them. The trust-your-audience aphorisms probably apply to children’s material even more than adult-oriented writing.
Later…
LikeLike
True. Children can fly over plot holes and lack of description pretty easily. Many times they like to make up their own part of the story.
LikeLike
If that wasn’t long enough…I really like the idea that it is such a mundane object – a garbage truck. Please don’t try to infuse it with any fantastical or mystical elements…the, “I never thought that deeply about a garbage truck,” element is what is a draw.
Later…for sure, this time…
LikeLike
I’ll tackle this one before the long one. 😉 I was just going for something fun, so there’s no mystical elements in there. I had considered answering what was up with the truck at one point, but thought it worked better as a children’s story without the explanation.
LikeLike
Yeah, the anthropomorphized common object would work with a “common man” approach, but not a turned into a truck by a spell approach, I think…look at me giving advice on something I know next to nothing about. I need to shut up some days.
Later…
LikeLike
It made me think of Dr. Seuss!
LikeLike
Thanks. That makes me smile. 😀
LikeLike
My first attempt at a children’s picture book isn’t even close to share worthy yet so I am speaking from an amateur’s point of view; all I know is rhythm, rhyme and repetition are king.
LikeLike
Thanks. I keep forgetting about the repetition.
LikeLike
I love this 🙂 fun story, great rhymes, words like vomiting… winner to me 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks. It was fun to write too.
LikeLike