Get Me My Axe and Ale

(Recent poems are having some backstory since I’ve had to hit up my archives.  This one is simple.  I had to buy a new suit after gaining more weight than I should have.  The tailor’s description of my body type immediately made me think of Middle Earth dwarves, which only became an entertaining thought after I wrote this poem.)

Gotta love Grumpy.


I went to buy a suit

Not knowing how I size

Ignorant of my dimensions

About to learn too much


Broad of shoulders

Short of height

With a bulging gut

Earned by a love of food


I was given the executive cut

Called stocky and compact

My mind defined me otherwise

I was a challenge to fit right


The fitting carried on

As my mind stepped far away

Taking in my stated form

Adding what was missing


I grew a lengthy beard

While donning plated mail

My balding head was covered

By a horn-adorned helm


I am no longer thin

Like the elf I used to be

My days of being spry

Have left me long ago


I am now a bulky dwarf

The surly battle drone

A warrior of stone

Carved from the very earth

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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