Goodkindles ‘Review’: Feedback Requested

I was recently introduced to Goodkindles, which is a site that posts a book description for e-book authors.  I was shown this site by Gwen Bristol and it costs $7-$25.  I haven’t seen any difference in services depending on your payment.  I plan on doing this once my book comes out if not the day after.

Part of the submission needs to be a ‘review’ of your book, which is really nothing more than a 200-word minimum explanation to entice a reader.  I just wrote mine up in advance and was hoping to get some feedback.  Thanks in advance to anyone who is willing to lend me a hand.  Here it is:

 

It began with a game of dice, pencils, and enough sugary soda to make a dentist’s eyes turn into permanent dollar signs.  In this game, I put on the guise of Luke Callindor and entered a realm of magic.  Back then, I had no idea I had found the catalyst I had been looking for.  Through Luke’s adventures, I developed Windemere and followed other stories in this world that blossomed in my mind.  I followed vampiric warlords, noble thieves, and a trouble-making halfling, but I always came back to the beginning.  I always meant to start my career as an author with Luke Callindor.

“Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero” is the first of fifteen books that will follow Luke Callindor and his friends as they become the greatest heroes of Windemere.  It all begins when Luke lies to a royal messenger to get his first adventure at a military academy.  His job is to secretly protect a royal heir from a power-hungry Lich who has uncovered the heir’s whereabouts.  Driven more by ambition than common sense, Luke finds himself scrambling to figure out which student is the hidden heir while a demonic assassin lurks in the shadows.  That’s only the main plot issues because he still has problems with girls, classes, mouthing off to the ex-mercenary headmistress, and handling the attention he gets from his famous surname.  For a first adventure, Luke is in over his head and he’s going to be lucky to get to the end in one piece.

Thankfully, Luke isn’t alone, but his helpers leave a lot to be desired.  Unable to go to the combat instructors or the headmistress for fear of them stealing his adventure, Luke finds other allies in the academy.  Once he makes friends with Nimby, a halfling carpentry teacher with his own secrets, Luke finds himself with a new set of friends.  Before Nimby can be stopped, he recruits Fritz Warrenberg, a gnomish inventor and proud womanizer, and Aedyn Karwyn, a serious priest of the sun.  These four strangers become fast friends as they hurry to locate the heir before the demon makes his moves.

Due to being born from a tabletop role-playing game, “Legends of Windemere” is a very character driven series.  Every character has a past and a personality with strengths, flaws, and goals.  As much as I enjoy hearing that someone enjoyed my book, I smile wider when I’m told that they loved or connected with a character and why.  After all, it’s their story and their lives that I’m writing about, so I want them to be more than silhouettes against the backdrop of a grand adventure.

I hope everyone enjoys this story and finds a character that speaks to them.  Though, I’d be careful talking to Nimby.  He doesn’t know when to stop talking.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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10 Responses to Goodkindles ‘Review’: Feedback Requested

  1. Leisa says:

    That sounds great!!!!!

    Like

  2. rawencounterswithestella says:

    Holy moly!!

    Like

  3. C.N. Faust says:

    Props to you for being able to come up with all of that, I myself am terrible at writing descriptions of my own work. However, it sounds very clean, very straightforward, and I like the hook in the beginning. The imagery is just enough to pull the reader in and make them want to move forward, as well as give them a hint at what your writing style is like. To me it sounds very successful.

    Like

    • slepsnor says:

      Thanks. I’m actually pretty bad at short descriptions of my work. This thing took me all morning and several times I had to scrap everything I wrote because it wasn’t working. All I can recommend is practice and getting an outside opinion.

      Like

  4. I’d write more here but Nimby won’t shut up long enough for me to complete a sentence! 😉

    Like

  5. Pingback: Book Review: Beginning Of A Hero(Legends Of Windemere) | The Ranting Papizilla

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