I’m in a mood and you’ll understand once you read what happened. I’m too angry to write any of Darwin & the Joy Path since it requires working with a happy character. I may still finish before the end of February by using the break since most of the Pokemon Go events are lame. Anyway . . . I hope you’re sitting for this:
My son is part of the high school chorus, which goes down to Disney to perform every 3 years. This was his year to go. Everything had been paid for, his luggage had been dropped off the morning beforehand, and he was excited. His roommates were picked out and he got his itinerary along with special shirts. My son was looking at this as a way to test his independence and I even got him a debit card for the trip. I think people can tell where this is going.
Somebody pulled him from the trip the afternoon beforehand. The school tried to fix the situation and convince the person to not do what they were determined to do. I was allowed to leave early and get the school to try and help. My mission was to also stop my son from leaving, which would end this without any chance to make sure he goes on a trip he’s known about for years. So many appeals to this person and several choices for them to make sure he still went on this once in a lifetime trip. In the end, the person didn’t change their mind and removed him from the trip. The spirit of an autistic teenager was crushed and I don’t even get to see him again until Monday.
The worst part is that the person gave no reason for it. They simply didn’t want him on the trip for selfish reasons. My son is hurting and lost a great opportunity because this person is a heartless, evil asshole. So, I can’t muster the energy and mood to write. At best, I can tinker with ‘Phi Beta Files’ . . . Oh, that might actually work out well given how angry some characters are.
I guess I’ll mostly work on April blog posts when I’m not cleaning for Super Bowl. I want to get out for some Pokemon Go in the mall too. Being cooped up isn’t going to help my mood much. I plan on rewatching ‘Schitt’s Creek’ though, so maybe that will keep my mind off the nightmare. Seriously, what kind of monster rips the excitement and hope from any child? Done with no remorse too.
Nothing else really happened this week. This incident meant I didn’t accomplish most of my goals. Shouldn’t be a surprise since it stressed me to the point where I felt like I was getting the flu. Haven’t had that anxiety effect since college. Glad I was able to take a day off and recover, but I’m still upset.
So, goals of this week:
- Console son.
- Help son study for tests.
- Finish watching ‘Fallout’.
- Clean for Super Bowl party.
- Get some sleep because I’m drained.
- Work on April blog posts.
- Work on ‘Phi Beta Files’.
- Improve mood to be able to work on Darwin & the Joy Path next weekend. I might even be able to get through most the final 11 sections too.
Legends of Windemere 
OMG! How awful. I feel for you and especially for your son. Something like this happened to my daughter and it affected her for life. She is not autistic but has mental health issues and this didn’t help. It sounds like you went to bat for your son. I always felt that I could have done more for my daughter at the time. I just couldn’t imagine that one person would stop her from participating in a once in a life time exchange student trip. But they did.
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I’m sure this will scar him forever and he had already been hurt by this person several times. I feel like crap for not being able to stop it even though I left work early, got to the school, and did my best. I really appreciate the people at my job who let me go early (with a responding ‘Go now!’) and the admins and teachers at my son’s school who fought to keep him on. This person just refused to listen and made sure to wait until there wasn’t enough time to put up a strong effort to stop them. Really killed me to go in at 4 am the next day to get his luggage. A few students knew who I was and my presence meant my son really wasn’t going.
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As parents, these things hurt us as much as they hurt our kids.
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True. Not being with him until Monday isn’t helping the situation. Just hope he’s doing okay.
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This is similar to what happened to my sister’s niece. Living in a stifling household with mother and grandmother , her mother would not let her go on school trips, even when the grandmother was going along as helper. In her late forties now she’s still annoyed!
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Don’t blame her. I’m still amazed that this person did it. No sign it would happen. Everything paid for and his luggage already at the school. Over 6 months with nothing hinting that there was a problem. Then boom.
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What a cruel thing to do. It sounds custom made to set everyone back.
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I wish I knew the reason. It does feel like it was done solely to cause pain.
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This person has a karma hit coming and I hope it is soon. So sorry for your son since this kind of behavior is not acceptable and has no substance.
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I really hope you’re right. Karma hasn’t been on the job around here for years. Right now, it looks like the worst thing is they’re seen as a bad person with no solid consequences.
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Well, let’s just hope.
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This is unbelievably cruel. What an evil person. I can only hope cosmic retribution will bite him or her on the ass. I’m sure your son is hurting, as are you. But wasn’t doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I’m sure your son, while deeply hurt, will be stronger for dealing with it when life throws something at him again.
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Unfortunately, the ‘what kills you makes you stronger’ thing doesn’t always work with autistic people. From my experience, things like this cut deeper than with neurotypicals because a fixation on what happened can occur. A part of my son may never let this go and it will affect his growth and behavior. Even when this person has left his circle, he might never trust the same way he used. The hurt could very well continue for a while too because he’s still in chorus. That means, he’ll be in the class on Monday with everyone who went and are talking about it. I’m sure his friends will comfort him, but he’s already said that he’s going to feel depressed and bad when sitting there.
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Can you take him on a trip of his choice as a buffer? My son has ADHD and was held back in kindergarten for a year because of it, while all his classmates went to first grade – and teased him about it the whole year. Of course we didn’t know about the ADHD at the time but he’s still 35 years later smarting at the thought of it.
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Not a lot of funds or time for a trip. As long as the time remains off, we’re going on a father/son trip in April. It won’t be the same though. This was more than a trip. There were a lot of experiences that cannot be replicated. Going with his friends, going backstage at Epcot, performing at Disney Springs, getting into a park prior to it opening to the public, and so much more. He’s 16 and his autism doesn’t make him ignorant of what he’s been robbed of. So, another trip would simply be another trip with no connection to this one. I mean, he’s known about it since 9th grade and has been looking forward to it since them. He got pulled 15 hours before they left, so he knows this person was being calculating and waiting until there was no way they could be stopped.
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