Thief– Why is everyone angry at me?

Warrior– Because you crossed a line.

Caster– Like you’re one to talk.

Warrior– This isn’t about me and I didn’t do anything nearly as bad as him.

Druid– Well, you all suck!

Caster– I liked it better when you were pretending to be a horse.

Thief– I did most of the work, so I deserved the greater share.

Warrior– You don’t need all of that.

Caster– I came up with the plan in the first place, so I should get more.

NPC– Dear heroes-

Entire Party– Not now!

Druid– I told all of you that this was a bad idea.

Warrior– You always say that, which is why we don’t listen to you.

Druid– That’s plain hurtful.  I knew you guys were cruel, but now you’re being rude.

Caster– Again with the cruelty accusation . . . Hey!  I saw that.

Thief– No you didn’t.

Warrior– Give the rest to us then.

Thief– Everyone has some of the loot. It was divided according to the physical work put into acquiring it!

Caster– I’m starting to regret every working with you three.

NPC– Great heroes-

Entire Party– NOT NOW!

Warrior– I don’t see how we can fix this.  You already made a mess of the split like you always do.

Thief– I don’t always do this.

Druid– Sometimes she incinerates the loot by accident.

Caster– One . . . Tw . . . Four times can still be an accident.

Warrior– I am telling all of you that we just need to do an even split instead of trying to say one of us does more than the others.  All it does is cause conflict and delay moving on to our next adventure.

Thief– This wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t so cheap and let each of us get our own pizza instead of sharing.  I’m the one with the membership card.

Caster– You stole that off the lich we fought last year.  No idea why he had it.

Druid– And why did you have to put meat all over it!

Warrior– Because black olives are an abomination to the taste buds!

Thief– At least we can agree on that.

NPC– Noble heroes?

Entire Party– What?!

NPC– I have a coupon.

Warrior– That should solve . . . It’s expired.

Thief– Can I rob him now?

Caster– We see nothing.

Druid– I still hate all of you monsters.