The Review Black Market

Author– I hear you can provide legit reviews.

Dealer– I might be able to help you.

A– Well, I’d like one for my newest book.

D– When did it release and how long is it?

A– Two weeks ago. It’s 250 pages.

D– I can work with that. I get a free copy, right? I can still work with a blurb, but it won’t be as legit.

A– Of course. Whatever will help me get a 5-star review.

D– That’s the tricky part. People get suspicious of 5-star reviews if they aren’t written perfectly. That will cost extra. Maybe a coffee on the sly.

A– I don’t know. Isn’t that a bribe?

D– Some people would say a free book is a bribe too. Never know what an angry reader or a rival author might do, especially if they find out about me.

A– Maybe I can do a contest for a Starbucks card and give you an advantage.

D– For that, I’ll give you a stunning 4-star with the only complaint being that the sequel isn’t out yet.

A– I don’t have a sequel planned.

D– That doesn’t matter. Many big name authors fail to release a sequel even if they clearly had one planned.

A– Sounds like a good deal. When can I expect the review?

D– Within the month since I do want to read the book. I might work in the black market, but I’m still a reader.

A– That doesn’t sound crooked at all. Free books for reviews are fairly common.

D– Yeah, but some people still consider it cheating.

A– I guess so. I’m just saying this doesn’t feel like a real black market.

D– Do you see how there are no lights on around here?

A– Yes.

D– Nobody pays the electric bill because we spend all our money on books and food. So, it’s always black around here.

A– Really went for that bad of a joke.

D– Don’t look at me. I didn’t write this skit. I’m not even sure what it was supposed to be in the first place. Idiot writing this forgot what he wanted to do.

A– Typically author then.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.

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