Simpsons

Good morning and welcome to our store.  I can see by the bags under your eyes that you’re in need of restful sleep.  Then, you have come to the right place.  All of our beds are designed for your needs.  From the frame to the mattress to the linens, we will not rest until you are satisfied.

Now, let’s start with one of the most important parts.  That is the frame, which is what stops you from sleeping on a mattress alone.  We have simple rails with wheels and extravagant multi-posters.  Our maximum for posts is ten because things get rather silly when you go higher than that.  There are bunk beds in double and triple varieties.  Our frames can be made from metal, wood, plastic, stone, and enchanted paper from the Snoring Forest.  Don’t go there without ear protection.  We do have a sale on metal frames that have ornamental animal headboards.  The beasts act as protectors when you sleep, but they might not recognize pets and children for a week or two.  You will have to train them to avoid any accidents.  Besides that, all of our frames are enchanted to be sturdy, silent when moved, and not scratch the floors.  You can also install various dimensional pockets underneath for storage, but this means nobody should be hiding there or they could be lost to the ethereal nothingness.

Next we have our customers’ favorite part of the process, which is the mattress.  Yes, we do have box springs if you want, but they are all the same with silence spells.  You can turn those off if you wish to have it squeak, which young couples and small children seem to prefer.  Anyway, the mattress comes in all sizes and varieties that include pillow top, memory foam, adjustable, and whatever else is on the market.  The real fun is in the additions.  One of our top sellers is the self-flipping mattress, which does so every time you change the sheets.  This prevents sagging.  I would recommend the self-cleaning enchantment too because it can handle any mess.  Here is a list of fragrances that it will release upon completion.  Other options are a gentle massaging spell, a built-in oil diffuser if you wish, small wound repair system, health monitoring system, and several others that will enhance the quality of your sleep.

To get your sleep to the next level, we need to get you matching linens.  Our pillows are soft and moldable with the ability to keep your head at the perfect temperature.  We can install specific dreams that they will grant you as well.  If you don’t want anything specific, you can get a general effect such as an excitement dream, vacation dream, or even a nightmare one if you wish.  While it is expensive, our top pillow can be connected to the Internet and be set up with around 50 dreams.  You can choose the one you want before you put your head down or let it be a random generation.  There is also an enchantment that sets up a psychic alarm, which will gently wake you up at a determined time.  It will jolt you awake if you ignore it for thirty minutes.

Sheets come in all colors and the fitted ones are self-folding because nobody really has the desire to waste time with that battle.  We have a variety of scents if you want to go that route.  Softness can be checked on this wall where we have all of our options set up for touching.  My favorite addition to our sheets is this one that captures and analyzes germs while you sleep.  It can release a mild medication to handle things such as a cold, but it really shines in notifying your doctor if there is a problem.  Combine it with the health monitoring system and we can create a bed that will run you to a hospital in case of emergencies.  Other sheet options are tent configurations, allergen nullification, boogeyman repellant, and soothing, talking images.

Finally, we come to our blankets . . . Nothing much to tell you about this other than you choose the colors.  Well, we do have weighted blankets, which adjust to whoever is underneath.  If you have two people then they will change whatever section is being touched by each person.  All of our blankets come with anxiety erasing spells, anti-dry air magic, automatic temperature adjustment, bathroom sense and escort system, and fabric regeneration.  You can always bring these in to trade for another color and style.  That is the least we can do to make sure you have the best sleep possible.  Enjoy.