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One of the toughest parts about existing is establishing and maintaining your identity.  We look for things that we can point out and say ‘this is me’.  It gets even more complicated when you add in the desire to stand out in your field.  You see it a lot in the arts where people take inspiration from others, but struggle to make sure they aren’t mimics. I tried to tackle this throughout Do I Need to Use a Dragon? without making it a full topic.  Doing so gave me a few thoughts on how one can maintain their self while accepting opinions and advice.

1. Before taking advice, think about if you can do what you’re attempting with your current skills and knowledge.  Maybe you can complete a task doing things your own way, but you won’t know unless you try.  If you fail or really can’t figure it how to start then you can start getting help.
2. Take time to self-analyze and discover what you consider your core.  These are the interests, beliefs, and activities that are so dear to your heart that you cannot give them up.  Once you figure out your core, hold onto that and try not to let it get replaced by the opinions of others.  I mean, within reason because we need to be able to adapt instead of sticking to a rigid thought process.
3. Be fluid and adaptable in the way you think and observe.  While your core might stay the same, everything coming off of it can change.  Don’t hold onto your current identity to the point where you stop growing.  Think of yourself as a Lego City that is being built up and modified as time goes on.  Some pieces might be removed to make space for those that work better.  Others might be moved around.  You can achieve this type of inner growth while holding onto your identity by being adaptable.
4. When it comes time to take advice, don’t be afraid to ask questions for clarification or politely explain why you don’t think it will work.  The other person might be able to help you modify the advice to suit you.  If they refuse then maybe the advice their giving isn’t as great as it sounds.  That or they’re only making suggestions for their own ego.
5. Never be ashamed of who you are . . . As long as you’re nothing highly illegal or immoral.
6. This one is an old piece of advice, but it probably still rings true.  Don’t give in to peer pressure.  I don’t mean stay within your comfort zone at all times, but don’t follow a path that makes you very uncomfortable.  Our experiences help craft our identity, which includes good and bad.  Yet, we shouldn’t go out of our way to add bad events to our lives simply because people tell us we should.  If you’re simply unsure then do your own research or ask questions to make sure it is your decision instead of the urging of others.
7. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are.  This is harder than one expects because we can’t always choose the people in our lives.  For example, we don’t choose the family we are born into.  So, try to counter the critics with those who will understand you.  I don’t mean agree with everything about you, but will accept who you are and respectfully discuss any concerns.  This one really seems nearly impossible to pull off as I read it over.  Good luck.