There are 3-4 days left of Do I Need to Use a Dragon? being 99 cents on Amazon Kindle. That being said, there was one statement that went through my head and was even uttered to me while I wrote this book:
Leave it to the experts!
We all know what this means. It’s a statement that tells a person that they should just quit what they are doing. Even worse, it’s telling a person that they aren’t good enough to attempt or accomplish their goal. You’re flat out stating that there are people better suited to what you are writing, so you should walk away. It’s amazing how cruel this statement can be.
Crazy part is that most don’t realize how soul-crushing this is. Imagine this for any career or hobby. It’s already nerve-wracking to take a big step and there’s a hint of doubt always waiting for a meal. Your own internal Audrey II whispering ‘Feed Me!’ in the recesses of your mind. Well, it gets that with being told that you suck, others are better, and you should give up. No criticism to help a person improve or a conversation to find out if you’re coming from a different angle. Just a flat out ‘sit down and shut up’ statement to the face.
This connects to the imposter syndrome situation that many authors find themselves in at times. If a person is already feeling like a fraud, they’re going to take to this statement like a vase handles a baseball bat. They’re already struggling with the possibility that they can’t or shouldn’t be an author. Telling them to leave their dreams and ambitions for people who are deemed ‘experts’ is brutal. Many times, I’ve seen this done online with the intent to harm too. Guess some people get a kick out of making others, usually strangers, to quit their dreams.
People who say this tend to forget that the experts they are talking about weren’t born that way. They didn’t even come out of high school or college that way when it comes to writing. If they did then I would have been given a publishing contract instead of a diploma when I graduated. Nope, an expert is built primarily by their experiences, which are a combination of successes and failures. Take a guess what an author has more of by the time they’re deemed experts. If you thought successes then you don’t know how many agent and publisher submissions authors send when they’re starting out. The point is that those experts once stood exactly where the person being told to quit is standing at this moment.
This is a fairly easy thing to avoid doing to another person too. Just don’t say it because there’s no silver lining to the phrase. Those who utter it are after nothing more than emotional damage and the trolling thrill of getting someone to give up on their dreams. Is that too mean? Probably, but I’m hard-pressed to think of any way this statement is supportive. Devil’s advocate, tough love, brutal honesty, and every other justification doesn’t ignore the fact that you’re telling someone that:
- They aren’t good enough to do what they’re doing.
- They will never be good enough to do what they’re doing.
- There are people out there better than them.
- They should quit.
So, what do people think about this statement? Ever hear it in a positive light?
Legends of Windemere 
This is why I have a rule against asking family members for any writing advice. Nor do I listen when it is offered.
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It’s definitely a lesson that’s hard to learn.
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I agree. Family members tend to be either far too critical or far too enthusiastic.
Even friends aren’t good for that, either, although I think they’d either say nothing or say how brilliant it is.
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So true, Viv. Never a good idea. 😊
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“Leaving it to the experts” doesn’t seem to leave room for new experts to emerge. I’ve seen people who only published one book but who were treated as experts by others.
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Good point. It does ignore people becoming experts to replace the old guard.
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No, there is nothing positive or helpful about this statement.
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Definitely. Unless it’s about surgery. I’d leave that to experts. 😁
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Most of the time, people who tell you to leave it to the experts aren’t expert enough to know what they’re talking about. Agree with you about the surgery, though. 😀
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I wonder why non-experts are so quick to say it.
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This is where I confess that I sometimes say this to my husband… After he’s taken apart the washing machine and can’t get it back together.
As a writer, in workshops, I would never say this and if another author said it, I would get in their face. Even if the work we’re looking at is objectively bad, I would tell the new writer “you can build from this” and I would try to make a small, concrete suggestion so they don’t feel overwhelmed.
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Mechanical repairs certainly require expertise. At least a YouTube video to follow. Good that you would stand up against the phrase.
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That comment can definitely be backhanded. While that wording hasn’t been spoken to me personally, the intent was still there and I’ve sadly given up multiple dreams because of people whom I thought might know more than me. That’s not even getting into the fandom shaming I went through despite not hurting or making fun of anyone. I also get offended when people try to question me when I know what I’m talking about, have actual acumen in a certain subject, or bringing up my personal experiences. I find it gaslighting and low-key psychologically abusive in certain situations. I’m not lecturing people about cooking because I’m not a chef, but some topics I will call people out if they think I don’t know something when I actually do.
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I’ve found that many people can’t stop themselves from questioning others. If you don’t have a degree in something or any way to officially claim expertise, they think of you as an unreliable source. I’ve gotten that on a number of topics, including writing. Think there’s always going to be a barrier of these types of critics for people shooting for a dream too.
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Is that so? I feel like I don’t see it that often with others being questioned. I don’t want to brag about whatever qualifications or accomplishments I have since I struggle with complimenting myself for fear of someone accusing me of bragging. With my film review blog, I didn’t talk about the fact that it was a big part of my college degree until 3 years after the fact when I made a post where I mentioned how I feel as a melanated film critic around the time of the George Floyd protests how people would question my knowledge despite my actual experience in film history, theory, and production (mostly the editing side, but I have directed music videos and used to teach a video production summer camp program) when I never saw others of different groups never get that treatment for the same thing even if that was mostly offline interactions. Thankfully, there were other bloggers who were pleasantly surprised and thanked me for that post. That was one specific example involving degrees, and as I get older, there are certain people I will not listen to if they belittle me with my knowledge, acumen, or personal experiences. Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I’m just bringing up how that has affected me in the past. Sorry to hear that people questioned you about writing even though you’re an author with multiple books.
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I’ve seen people get questioned all the time on the Internet. Even when their credentials are known. There’s this current mentality where people think they’re more knowledgeable than they really are because they listen to specific echo chambers. It’s ridiculous. I’ve even seen authors get talked to about their own books as if they didn’t write them. Heck, I had one person argue my own subtext and plot development. It’s just how things are these days.
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I get the whole echo chamber thing across multiple topics or people acting like they think they know more than someone else on a topic or personal experience. There were times where I said “Oh, you think you know more than me about this topic?” to others when I know I didn’t make a mistake. Don’t even get me started on people who tried to lecture me on heavier topics that they will never experience in their lives and think they know things about them. Someone actually argued with you about your own subtext and plot development in that way? Wow, that’s rough. Did those arguments get really bad?
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The book conversations did get messy. The person was adamant that I didn’t understand what I wrote. It ended with a block. As for the echo chamber, that’s probably only part of the issue. The other thing is that the Internet makes things go too fast. It also hides a lot, so nobody either knows or bothers to check if they’re talking to someone with related experience. Add in that many people lie about such things and it makes an even bigger mess.
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Dang, that really sucks that the conversation went well, but at least you blocked that person. I definitely noticed that about the lies or no one bothering to check certain sources in internet discussions. Sure, I admit there are times I made some mistakes with sources, but it gets annoying when certain posts get promoted a lot more that has misinformation, omissions, or strawmen points on it, and I’m not just talking about the political stuff which is a whole other can of worms.
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Part of the issue with readers telling authors what they ‘really meant’ is that they create their own explanations in their heads. It’s fine for talking with others and politely arguing, but it becomes a problem when the author comes out with the truth and it doesn’t match what a reader believes. Most will accept it and still enjoy the stories. There’s a few who get angry and start arguing because they want to be proven right even against the book’s creator. They feel betrayed and possibly even made a fool of. So, they push with the hope of being told they were right all along, changing the author’s stance to their own, or getting the author to quit entirely.
Checking sources has become so difficult these days. There are too many that appear to be viable, but aren’t. It’s too easy to fake things on the Internet. The pushing of the misinformation stems a lot from the believers sharing it and the disbelievers doing the same to mock it. This causes the misinformation to get picked up and pushed by the algorithms too. So, they get promoted simply because social media is designed to amplify whatever is getting the highest level of attention. It can’t tell if it’s good or bad. Sadly, bad stuff draws more people in than good.
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You’re talking about when the readers talk or message the authors directly, right? I can understand if the discussion is civil or if there’s an interpretation that can be possible with healthy dialogue. Ah, the old arguments of headcanon vs what the author actually says. There have been some cases where the author’s intent didn’t match my perceptions that I appreciate in hindsight like finding out years ago that Grave of the Fireflies wasn’t meant to be an anti-war movie, but to still show the horrors of war. To be far, any rational human being wouldn’t think WWII would be awesome after watching it and I’m man enough to admit that it is the only animated film that can still make me cry as an adult and I rarely cry watching movies. I haven’t been at the level where I talked to an author or creator directly and ranted to them about their work. However, I will call out creators if there are some unfortunate implications or their own words prove me right that they had some problematic agendas (an academic article I read from someone quoting a creator about something really didn’t help which I ranted about on my blog not too long ago). With that said, I’m not some troll to get people to bend their will to me, but at the same time, I won’t be silent if I sense something is wrong because I’ve been bullied to silence for too long in my life. Thankfully, I never had to directly confront an author or creator for anything like that with their works, but I swear I will be civil if I have to do so.
Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. Even the advent of AI certainly hasn’t helped with faking things or writing stuff in someone’s style. Sometimes the most popular “sources” get the most attention even if they are erroneous because of the algorithms or because they “fit the narrative” about something (not to be too conspiratorial) when it gets in certain echo chambers. Well it is the internet where people are naturally negative. Just look at X FKA Twitter for starters.
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Never saw that movie. Someone once put it in the category of Watership Down, so I never gave it a shot. I have a low emotional impact level, so I need to be careful of heavy movies. Heck, I nearly cried watching Ash Ketchum’s final Pokémon battle a few weeks back. Definitely couldn’t handle the really heavy animations. Besides, real life traumatizes me enough.
Not sure what you mean by ‘unfortunate implications’. Only because that sounds like what this guy tried to do with me. Authors get tunnel vision and focus on their goal. Sometimes, this results in them writing something that works towards that goal, but can be taken another way. An author would have trouble even acknowledging the unintentional alternative meaning. Doing so gives fuel to it and can result in people thinking it was the intentional one. This is especially a problem when an author accidentally steps into offensive areas that they weren’t initially aware of. So calling an author out on something like that tends to result in a fight.
X FKA Twitter? I’m kind of avoiding that platform as much as possible these days.
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I was curious if you saw it or not. When I’ve talked about this film, I warn people not to watch Grave of the Fireflies if they’re depressed, watch the original Japanese version (the dub is terrible), and have some Kleenex within arm’s length because you will need it. Even others who have seen this movie agree with that advice. I haven’t seen Watership Down in it’s entirety and while both respective films have different plots and tragic aspects, but I understand why that person would make that comparison and I’d throw Ringing Bell in that spectrum of works despite being obscure. I get it if you have an aversion to some topics covered as long as you’re not one of those people who will watch something, but wouldn’t watch something less popular that covers the same concepts or pushes the envelope with those themes. It is mind-blowing how Ash FINALLY won a Pokemon League tournament after twenty-something years even though he’s still 10 years old. Animation math makes no sense, but all joking aside, I might have some sentiments watching the whole battle even though I know how some aspects played out and the cameos they used in that storyline since I was just a kid watching Pokemon when there was only 150.
These could be things that could range from anything from sexism, racism, (severe) protagonist-centered morality especially if it’s really criminal, bigotry, fascism, and so many other things. Usually, people have to be specific as to why something is an unfortunate implications with the storylines, character actions, the overall optics, etc. It’s even more noticeable with cancel culture and people making that “just Google it!” reference when it comes to looking up something. You could even find posts online about avoiding unfortunate implications, but some are more helpful than others. This could involve subtext or the text itself. Sometimes I don’t believe people don’t know what they’re doing by being offensive and people play dumb to save face. I’m not saying everyone does that, but it’s something I’ve noticed.
Good call. I used to have that social media platform, but I gave up along time ago. It’s a hater’s playground.
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The thing with Ash is that it had an impact even though I heard what was happening. Just the way they built up to the scene and had it play out felt perfect for a finale. Guess it had to happen at some point.
I’ve found that more people aren’t aware of being offensive than we realize. It depends on exposure, generation, and culture. I’ve seen many times when someone is ganged up on for being ‘racist’ when they genuinely didn’t know or their work was purposely taken the wrong way. It really is a game for some to call out racists, but they go to the point where they attack those who didn’t know. This, in turn, can actually cause someone to either become what they are accused of or simply not care about the plight of others.
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I definitely believe that with Ash especially with so many people who grew up watching and playing the games since Red and Blue first debuted. Even though I hadn’t been paying attention to Pokemon in ages, I still heard about it and it’s about time. They even mentioned that episode in mainstream media like it was some athlete winning a major championship.
Not going to lie, I didn’t want to respond to your comment right away for fear of saying the wrong things or ranting harshly. I hope you don’t assume I’m going to make this into a game as you say to anyone. Did anyone give you that treatment when it came to alleged unfortunate implications the other person accused you of?
At the risk of sounding extremely negative, I have no problems with various individuals, but it is very hard for me not to think that huge segments of humanity are just vile given what I’ve experienced and what I’ve learned. I’ve seen too many people acting dumb or lying that they didn’t mean something. I just mentioned racism in passing when it came to unfortunate implications in general, but I wasn’t accusing you of it. I haven’t “ganged up” on people in the situation you have described. With that said, some (let me emphasize that I’m not talking about all) people are just naturally bigoted or don’t care about the plights of others and just become more open about it when they are called out on it or feel like something they like is called out. Also, I’m not someone who says everything is racist even if it infiltrates literally every facet of society in subtle or overt ways. One thing that does offend me is certain people telling me something isn’t offensive when it is like I apparently don’t know anything about being a victim of bigotry in my life whether it’s upfront attacks or dog whistles.
I seriously had to calm down before responding, and just know what I mentioned isn’t an attack on you or your fiction.
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At this point, it really did feel like an athlete winning the big one. Though I understand why it took so long. The creators are right that him winning a big championship would feel like a finale. Everything after that would be anticlimactic.
While there are many who are bigoted, I think the majority of humanity is in the middle. They’re just trying to survive, so they aren’t always aware of what’s now considered offensive. Some don’t know the slang or slurs as well, especially if they’re from another country. A person will say a thing isn’t offensive if they don’t believe it is. They’ll not understand why it is and most attempts I see today to educate are nothing more than shaming, insults, and pure rage. It’s like every person in the world started believing everyone grew up the same way and has the same list of offensive material right down to the nuances. I mean, your average citizen trying to survive doesn’t recognize dog whistles from what I can tell.
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That’s certainly an apt comparison with Ash’s victory. Even though I stopped watching Pokemon a long time ago, it was something that needed to happen since he would always lost the big one during those Pokemon league tournaments. It really did solidify a major end to a very-long running arc.
I’ve had situations of people from other countries, including those where English wasn’t their first language where they legitimately didn’t know about certain nuances and I politely informed them. This is also similar to those who are from this country who I could tell weren’t lying when they said they didn’t know about something and legitimately want to do better. To be fair, a lot of people here are miseducated about so many things in history, but I’d be bringing up points I brought up before. If people are trying to gaslight, freak out at me or tell me “overanalyzing” when I bring up why something is bigoted (especially if it’s subtle bigotry like a dog whistle), then that’s when I get frustrated. It’s also insulting to me how I should just move on or not get angry when I learn about a massive miscarriage of justice. Why should I not get angry if someone was literally getting away with something like murder, human trafficking, or genocide? Some of that rage is justified if something is that severe. I tend to choose my battles with those kinds of interactions, but I do get angry when people tell me they don’t care about these things or how I need to “stop being angry” about atrocities, especially the ones that have happened to someone like me or my family. Are there people who legitimately don’t know? Sure. Are there people who do know and just lie about it just to look good? That is also true. Dog whistles have hurt since I didn’t know what a lot of them meant until I got older or even what that word meant in that context under I was already an adult. I have to make sure not to take everything at face value because people mean something else when they think they are being slick…that or people who clearly know better if they have the experience, generation, etc. People may not have that same list of offensive material, but I still don’t want to be caught dumbfounded if someone is trying to low-key insult me, and it’s sad that I have to analyze what people say to make sure they aren’t being covert in anything like insults, discrimination, bullying, etc.
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It is indeed a hurtful, and negative phrase. Yes, there are some things we shouldn’t attempt, that require specialist training, but there are equally many other things that don’t.
Where would most families be if the left the cooking to an expert? Going out for every meal, which would eat into the family budget immensely.
So many writers suffer from imposter syndrome (myself included) that such sayings can be devastating. Fortunately, I’ve not (yet) had it said to me, not even in poor reviews, so I’m lucky there.
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This phrase certainly is a big imposter syndrome trigger. Good that you’ve never heard it. Hard to get over it when it happens.
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There’s just no helpful way to say this. Sorry you have this toxicity around you.
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Thanks. It’s certainly a pain.
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