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Welcome to our magical egg dying shop on the only day of the year that we’re actually open.  I mean, what other time of year would you bother doing this?  Don’t worry about space because we have enough to cover the necessary territories.  What what?  Just check out our list to see what each color will do to the eggs.  I will warn you that none of them are edible, some need to be thrown, and mixing colors results in getting a random effect from the ones you’ve chosen.  Also, we don’t replace eggs, baskets, or children.  Now, here’s that list:

• Dark Blue–  Ability to breathe underwater; Does not protect from pressure and cold
• Light Blue–  Ability to fly; Does not provide oxygen or guarantee safe landing
• Red–  Throw egg to summon dragon; Control of dragon not guaranteed
• Pink–  Throw egg to create love spell; Not to be used on the ‘One that Got Away’ because you already blew that chance.
• Yellow–  Glows in the dark like a torch; Attracts moths
• Orange– Gives off heat when placed on stone; Warning: Yes, It’s hot to the touch!
• Dark Green–  Ability to travel through tree branches; Pine sap is still an issue
• Light Green–  Grants photosynthesis when held in the sun; Constipation will ensue
• Black– Like our HR Manager’s soul; Summons our HR Manager when throw *HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR OUR OWN AMUSEMENT*
• White–  Nothing; You just forgot to dye the egg, so get back inside
• Purple– Throw to create a wall of purple fog; Totally useless, but pretty
• Brown–  Turns whatever it breaks against into chocolate; Do NOT keep in pocket
• Gold– Chain lighting; Probably not for kids . . . or adults . . . Military use only
• Silver– Turn into a one-legged pirate and go in search of treasure; No downside
• Bronze– Ability to instantly get a tan; You will smell like bacon for 24 hours
• Grey– Ability to summon and control rain; Not immune from getting wet
• Polka Dot– Only multi-color option with unique ability: Grants ability to do the polka and summons Weird Al Yankovic; Doest not guarantee he will be happy to be there