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I was going to be more upbeat today, but I got a thought stuck in my head. I couldn’t shake it loose. You ever have an opportunity that passed you by? We all do. Maybe we missed it because we weren’t paying attention. It might not have looked like one when we first saw it. This might turn more into a ‘tell your story’ thing. Why?
One type of loss of opportunity came to mind. It’s when one is stolen from you. Maybe not you, but someone you care about. I was thinking about someone in my life and the opportunities that they have had over the years. Then, I realized that several of them were missed because of a third party. That has to be the most agonizing one and had me spinning my wheels. Even noticed times in my past where I was undone from smart moves due to other people. I realized that this happened in two general camps:
- The other party simply forgot to relay some information that could have help. You either find out after the fact. This is an honest mistake even though it can cause anger and frustration.
- The more malicious one is when a person withholds information or makes a move that actively removes your opportunity. This one hurts. It could be done because they see it is a mistake, but there are times when they purposely want to get in the way. Could be someone that wants the opportunity for themselves or wishes to urge you onto a different path instead of the one that is about to succeed. I’ve been the victim of this one once or twice in some arenas.
Now, I’m not sure where else to go with this idea. I realize that I’ve stated my point and that’s really all I had. No idea how to identify this or what to do about it. Maybe I’m just trying to toss this into the open. Anybody else have something to add? Personal story or advice? Let’s converse and see if I’m just being silly.
Legends of Windemere 
To further the silliness, you’ve reminded me why I don’t play “Clue” with my family. Every time, someone would forget that he had a card. I’d carefully construct my accusation, declare it, then hear, “I have Colonel Mustard; he’s right here!” I have become so frustrated I refuse to play with them.
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Been a long time since I played that game. Forgot that there were cards. It’s definitely frustrating when people forget they have a piece and it messes you up.
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See? Just like life.
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I’ve certainly had opportunities pass by, mainly due to my own insecurity. Many years ago, I queried a publisher (Bloomsbury) about a novel. Though the editor said no, she sent me a handwritten note saying to keep in touch since they use freelancers. Well, all I could see was the no, so I didn’t follow up. Years later, I reread the note and mourned the fact that I hadn’t bothered to contact the editor, especially since that publisher only takes agented manuscripts now. No idea where that editor is now. 😓
I have had opportunities pass by because of delayed emails and I missed a deadline because of that. But I can’t say offhand if someone maliciously withheld information and thus prevented me from exploring an opportunity. I’m sorry that happened to you. 😓
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I think I’d be able to handle an opportunity missed by my own hands better than a sabotage. Well, I actually know this because the sabotages still sting even after so many years. I can rationalize my own bad decision better.
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I have had several of the situations that you describe, Charles. The good point was I moved in different directions and have never had to deal with the perpetrators since. Not dealing with them has made forgetting the events so much easier, which is the best thing.
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That’s good. I’ve managed to leave most of them behind, except I still seem them being active at times. It stings and I think that’s what brought this on.
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Yeah. I can understand that for sure.
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If/when something like that happens to me, I go along another path and don’t think about it. I can’t remember any specific happenings, though, but I’m sure it must have happened. I just put it behind me.
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That’s a good idea. I find it hard to do with the stolen ones though.
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I’ve had more than my share of stolen opportunities, so I identify. The ones that drive me bonkers are the ones perpetrated “for my good,” because I could not be trusted to make the “right” decision at the time. I’m talking life-changing stuff, too; not whether we’re having pizza or burgers.
Then I reason that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if things had been different. I like to think that things happen for a reason; even unwelcome things like stolen opportunities.
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I hate the ‘for my good’ ones. They always feel intrusive and insulting. Though the ones I discover were done in secret hurt me more. It reminds of the period where I couldn’t figure out what was going wrong and it wasn’t even in my power.
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Sounds only too familiar 😦
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These tend to be the people more likely to become enemies too.
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I don’t think you’re being silly at all. Everyone has some of this in their life. Today, I tend to think of things like this as plot devices I might weave into a story. Everyone can relate, so it could work well.
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True. Though I think the backstabber trope is easy to do without experiencing it. 😁
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Preferable, for sure.
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I hear you. I have experienced both. Although it was not a good feeling at the time, it directed me to other paths, and eventually I had to admit that it made me stronger. It helped me trust in myself more, and also see the hand of God in many ways, always helping me. Think of where you have been, whatever your situation has been, and see how much more wise and strong you have become because of it. You have an advantage now.
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Sadly, I don’t have that situation. The actions taken against me resulted in crippling my progress. To the point where the path I was on has been primarily destroyed and I’m in a position where I’m fighting more for survival than anything else.
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Very sad. I hope that every step you take in your fight will take you to a better place every time.
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Hope so too.
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There have been times when I heard about opportunities… after the publication was full. But I never thought anyone intentionally excluded me. More that I had not been trying hard enough to follow up on contacts. I made it easy to forget that I’m here.
Since a few of those have been anthologies, I’ve really been trying to make more of an effort to keep track of those call for submissions. Which reminds me, I need to take a look at one of the small publishers I know and see if they have any openings coming up.
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Good luck finding openings.
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