Welcome to the biggest sale of the year. Well, it’s our only sale of the year because we’re only open for a week. Since we only do rentals, there’s no point in staying open and wasting money. This system keeps most of our clients on the same payment schedule, which our Accountant Ogre prefers. She’s not really an ogre, but she doesn’t like being reminded that she’s a demon. We do have a call service for the rest of year, so don’t think we abandon you completely. So, what are you looking for?
Islands are always popular, which means the best ones tend to go in the first day. This is our fourth day, so the pickings on that category are a little slim. We have one with a volcano and a few that still have the indigenous people living there. Part of the contract for these locations is that you don’t remove, enslave, or hurt them in any way. We do know that accidents happen in the cause of a battle, but nothing on purpose or done with the knowledge that you will hurt them. Too much responsibility? Well, we have some empty islands that range from icy to desert. There’s this one that has no animals other than emus.
Yes, we can discuss the buildings, which are interchangeable in some instances. We have a helicopter fleet that can transport these places piece-by-piece. Ancient castles are going out of style, so we rent those for cheap. The problem with them is that you can only modernize it with permission from the original owners. We have a seance service in those cases, but most find that to be a headache. Literally because these ghosts like to talk telepathically. I would recommend the military fortress surrounding a rich manor. It’s a little on the pricey side, but you have great defenses and excellent comfort. The manor also comes with a man-made hot spring that doubles as a power source. Don’t ask how it works because our scientists refuse to share their secrets.
You must be thinking of defenses now. Now, the inside of the buildings are all up to you because you need to have your own mark on it. Those can be removed if you trade it in anyway. The rest of your lair can be outfitted by us. Sadly, we are out of drones until next month because one person took most of our stock. Calls himself the International Peeper and his check cleared. Depending on the island type, we can offer various biological creations. Dinosaurs are still popular and we have scaled and feathered versions. Can’t go wrong with more common wild animals like bears and tigers, which many heroes work to defeat without killing these days. There’s a cybernetically enhanced rodent package too that isn’t popular, but we contend is effective. Squirrels with robotic arms to hurl acorns at high speed, spy mice and rabbits, battle capybara, and . . . laser-shooting otters. Yes, I know those aren’t rodents, but we don’t have a weasel package. Not since badgers escaped and sunk all of East Virginia. Of course, you never heard of that place. We’d feel rather silly allowing humanity and history to remember that it existed after that fiasco.
Now, I’m going to leave you with Susie to finish the paperwork. Who is Lorry? That’s actually a family name. All of us are Lorry . . . Yes, I meant ‘a Lorry’. Here’s a crueler to get you moving quicker.