(Why do I keep stopping what I’m doing when I hear this song?  Something keeps drawing me to it.)

I had such high hopes for this week.  Sure, my son’s marital arts schedule changed, but that simply meant I had more time between him coming home and going there.  Easy way to fix that is an early dinner.  I had errands to do, including one yesterday that was caused by somebody else forgetting something.  That shouldn’t have caused trouble, so what in the world happened?

The issue mostly is in regards to Quest of the Broken-Hearted being edited.  It’s only 15 chapters, which is shorter than most of my other books.  My usual 3 chapters a day should mean that I’m done, but I came 4 chapters short.  I should be able to finish it by Monday the latest, which throws the next editing project into disarray.  That would be War of Nytefall: Lost, which I want to edit before I start writing the third book of that series.  Best to make sure I have everything correctly in my head to make sure continuity isn’t messed up.  That went wrong a little between the first and second book, so I have a list of things I have to repair.  While it sounds like I have a plan, I’m flailing a little bit after a strong and productive year opener.

I think the reason is because this has been a really bad anxiety week.  Wednesday might have been the only day I woke up without feeling like I was going to die.  The stress from a few life things just nailed me and I found myself dragging my mind and body along.  I didn’t think it would be this difficult to edit while fighting this thing because it’s never hit me this hard.  It was like there wasn’t a permanent way out and every time I began to pull away from the anxiety, I’d get knocked back down.  Worst part is that I would wake up with the issues, have a few blips during the day, and then get railroaded at night to fall back down.  Apparently, I can’t sleep this stuff off anymore.  I started my Anxiety Journal for Thursday, so we’ll see how that goes.  If It seems to be makings things worse then I guess I’ll drop it.

This brings up a slight problem with productivity because it means I’ll be moving slower than before.  With people calling for me to quit or work harder, I can see this causing some issues.  What is it with people thinking they’re helping others by nagging, yelling, and being an all around pain in the ass?  It’s like they think you’ll magically succeed or quit to find a happier life if they harass you enough.  From personal experience, it just makes me want to be alone or, if a massive anxiety attack is triggered, lay down and die.  Should probably admit that this happened a lot this week and that probably didn’t help my overall situation.

There are two things that are hovering over me too.  I need to figure out what to do on Tuesdays because I can’t keep doing War of Nytefall teasers without putting out most of the book.  I’ll be making a post this week asking if people have suggestions or things they want to see more of.  This doesn’t always go well, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.  The other thing I have to get my butt moving on is finding a cover artist for Quest of the Broken-Hearted.  It doesn’t get released until around July 4th, but I shouldn’t drag my feet to the point where I have to grab a generic.  As I mentioned last weekend, I’d like the character on the cover and she has a certain look that you can’t find in stock photos.  I have an idea of who I want to contact, but I also need to wrangle up enough funds in case they’re more expensive than I realize.

The coming weeks are going to be chaotic due to there being a bunch of school events for my son and other obligations.  So, maybe being on editing for a bit longer won’t hurt me too much.  It’s easier to get pulled away from that than a new project.  Nothing else has me wanting to put my stuff aside since most of my favorite shows are ending their seasons (or series like ‘Ash vs Evil Dead’).  Might be easier to write at night if I get to the new book once all those things fall by the wayside.  Since I have nowhere else to go for writing at that time of day, I’m kind of stuck by the TV.  Need to really look into getting some headphones that aren’t buds because those hurt my ears after a while.  Another errand that I might have to take since I still have a bunch of birthday money.  I’m back to rambling and I have to get ready for a family gathering, so I should close this post up.

Goals for the week?

1. Finish editing Quest of the Broken-Hearted
2. Start editing War of Nytefall: Lost
3. Look into cover artist for Quest of the Broken-Hearted
4. Try to ward off anxiety attacks
5. Laundry
6. Make another entry or two for my Anxiety Journal.
7. Figure out the Tuesday post issue
8. No, I’m not going to see ‘Infinity War’.  Please stop asking.  I’ll save my money for ‘Deadpool 2’ and ‘Venom’.