The Titan’s Tiny Tea Shop: Pick Own Leave At Own Risk

Uncle Iroh from Avatar

Welcome to our tea shoppe!  I’m sure you’ve been told about all of our flavors, which you can pick yourself.  Oh, you weren’t told about that part.  Guessing the signs and a large fence around the property weren’t big enough clues.  First, we’ll set you up at a table and have you sign the waiver.  I guess you can sign it after we talk.  Just pick the teacup pattern and the type of kettle you want while we discuss.  This is by appointment, so we’re very busy.

Now, through that door is our garden where you may find every herb, fruit, and tea ingredient known to man.  Also some that are known only to elves, which is why we have a non-disclosure agreement for you to sign as well.  Now, all of these grow in different environments, so you have a wide variety of biomes.  That’s why we ask that you check both the map and catalog before you go out.  It isn’t mandatory, but it will save on time and make your adventure safer.  We don’t recommend wandering around out there, but it’s your choice.

The equipment you’re sent out with is all the same.  A basket for the ingredients, a glove with the laminated recipe you’ve requested, a backpack with clothing, shears, wand of bone smashing, and helmet of protection.  You can pay extra to carry along a sword, which we have a small collection of.  The only reason we aren’t very thrilled with this option is that wild swinging can damage the plants.  Bashing tends to get the job done if you need to open up something, destroy a rock, or kill one the predators out there.  There is a healing kit as well, but supplies are limited there.  Oh, that is a nice vine pattern and it would go nicely with the black tea you were looking at in the lobby.

We do have multiple waters and . . . Are you sure you want to talk about that so early in the conversation?  Well, you are the customer.  The ingredient garden is not under a dome or entirely blocked off from the world in any way.  While there are magical barriers within, those are only to separate the areas and prevent weather patterns from traveling.  Imagine if the snowstorms of the polar section went into the desert.  We’d lose a lot of product with that mess.  Anyway, this means that various creatures have wandered into our establishment and made homes.  Not all of them are bad.  The sprites in the jungle region are very helpful.  Sure, there’s a troll in the caves and we’re still negotiating with a dragon to reopen the swamp.  It’s all part of owning a business.  These things happen.

What warning on the wall?  Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.  The undead only wake up under a full moon and we have priests on staff t0 handle it.  Wait, that’s the werewolf issue we had.  Skeletons and zombies are only on the very hot days, but not too hot.  More of a spring and autumn problem.  No, vampires aren’t here.  Well, there are two who run the pastry counter, but they’re harmless.  As you can see, everything is under control and we haven’t had a fatality in weeks.  Now, please sign the waiver and then go make yourself the most relaxing cup of tea you can imagine.  Trust us when we say you’ll need it when you get back.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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14 Responses to The Titan’s Tiny Tea Shop: Pick Own Leave At Own Risk

  1. A very entertaining post, Charles.

    Like

  2. I like it. Cures stress and that’s provided so you get the full experience.

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  3. Got anything to improve comma use?

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  4. That’s quite a list you have, I’m sure you get a lot of customers who want unique teas… but I was just looking for a cup of tea, earl grey, hot.
    Can you help me with that? Thanks.

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  5. I’d go just to pick up gardening tips from the sprites.

    Like

  6. L. Marie says:

    I don’t know how I missed this one. Wait. Now I do. My computer kept crashing a couple days ago. 😦
    Lovely post! Always nice to see Uncle Iroh, who is one of my favorite characters from the series. Healing tea is always welcome. 🙂 I can’t help thinking of an old episode from Samurai Jack where he went to a shop just to have a cup of tea, but kept getting challenged by a guy.

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    • Sorry about the computer. Tech is not doing well this year. I think I remember that Samurai Jack episode. One of these days, I’ll get the whole thing on DVD. Especially since they gave the series closure.

      Like

  7. It’s one of those places with a “90 days without an accident” notice on a wall, isn’t it?

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