7 Signs a Person is Suffering from Author Fatigue

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Does this really need an intro?  Sure most, if not all, of us have been here at some point.  This is possibly a new thing I’ll do from time to time, which was inspired by John W. Howell’s Ten 10 Lists on Mondays.

  1. You start dreaming about editing and it steadily becomes a nightmare.  Their, there, and they’re attack out of the shadows.  You’re strapped to a chair and forced to watch all of your greatest typos play out in front of a giant crowd.  Also, you’re naked and the dog ate your manuscript.  Not sure where the dog came from, but it looks remarkably like your old English teacher who swore you wouldn’t be able to write your name much less a novel.
  2. You sit down to write at the laptop and blast away an epic chapter that is the best you’ve ever done.  Your fingers flew across the keyboard for hours before you celebrate with a drink.  Then you do a spit take when you realize that you forgot to turn the laptop on.
  3. You beg the clerk at the supermarket to beta read your shopping list, which you swear is Pulitzer worthy.  Upon getting removed from the premises, you politely request that the police read and review your shopping list on Amazon.  Don’t worry.  You’re sure they won’t be tagged as friends or family.
  4. Somebody tore a piece of paper out of your notebook to write down a phone number and message.  You lack the urge to attack and write their obituary in their own blood or at least curse at them.  The revelation that you let it happen results in two hours of the fetal position and praying that the ghost of your favorite author doesn’t punish you for being weak.  If your favorite author is still alive then add another hour of praying that they don’t find out you unintentionally wished death upon them.
  5. You catch yourself watching Reality TV.  Worse is that it has given you a story idea that can only be removed with a lobotomy.
  6. The taste of coffee no longer appeals to you.  You weren’t a coffee drinker in the first place, but that doesn’t seem to factor into your panic.  Fearing that the end is near, you rush to the nearest clinic and demand a taste bud revitalization procedure.  This is denied, but you were sent away with an assortment of anti-psychotics that all come from a popular company called Placebo Inc.
  7. You simply don’t have the energy to talk to or control your characters.  They seem to know what to do, so you’re going to nap while they finish the first draft.  With any luck, the family won’t call an exorcist this time and leave you explaining your author process to Father Bartholomew.  He prefers non-fiction and you write fantasy, so the talks never end well.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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90 Responses to 7 Signs a Person is Suffering from Author Fatigue

  1. Jan Hawke says:

    Reblogged this on Jan Hawke INKorporated and commented:
    Charles Yallowitz hits the proverbial nail, wall and thumb pretty expertly here – don’t dare say that you haven’t experienced most or all of these nightmares!

    Like

  2. Kylie Betzner says:

    When you lack the ability to murder someone and write their obituary, you know it’s bad. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha! I love this!!! I’m a freelance writer for my day job, so author fatigue isn’t an option. I do, however, get tired of the game you have to play as an author. I just want to write! All this competition and worrying about sales and stressing about whether your next book will ever get published is just SO frustrating. We can only control so much of this…and that sucks!

    Stephanie
    http://stephie5741.blogspot.com

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sue Bridgwater says:

    Reblogged this on Skorn and commented:
    Oh dear, all very familiar!

    Like

  5. You said it. I don’t get writer’s block, but this one is very familiar.

    Like

  6. Reblogged this on Shirley McLain and commented:
    I think I know these feelings. Great blog.

    Like

  7. L. Marie says:

    Ha ha! These are all great! I know that fatigue feeling. Mine usually involves consuming mass quantities of chocolate. But number 7 appeals to me greatly today. 🙂

    Like

  8. Didn’t know you knew Father Bartholomew. He’s scheduled to drop by later, to perform an exorcism on the wee one, aka the-one-who-wouldn’t-sleep. Give him my best when you next see him.

    Like

  9. I’ve done #5. Several times. Luckily I’ve never got as far as writing the story.

    Like

  10. I love your lists, and your humour. I often find myself laughing out loud at the imaginative and humourous way you weave your words to make relatable points, and enable us to laugh through the pain 🙂 We’re with you, Charles!

    Like

  11. Great list Charles. I had to laugh at the grocery list beta and review requests. It would be grat to get a few of those. (“I’m sorry but that can of tomatoes just doesn’t belong in the list. It’s as if the author just tossed it in to fill a void.”)

    Like

  12. Brilliant! Scary that I could identify with so many of those. Reblogging, if that’s okay.

    Like

  13. Reblogged this on The Writers' Workshop Blog and commented:
    Thanks to Charles Yallowitz for this entertaining post.

    Like

  14. Nos. 6 and 7 have done me in. Sigh.
    Talking about this helps, right? o_O. Like in all good support groups? 😀 😀

    Like

  15. jowensauthor says:

    Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author and commented:
    Heh heh 🙂

    Like

  16. sknicholls says:

    I thought I ad it all figured out until I decided to query. And then Satan said, “Make them write a synopsis.” And then there were all these agents to find…I know with social media it’s much easier, the infamous they say, but each one has their own criteria. I queried four before I realized I had misspelled the word “pairing” in the query letter. Got my first rejection letter yesterday and then my plumbing failed. Neither one wanted my shit. Argh!

    Like

  17. noelleg44 says:

    Laughed all the way through this, Charles. Am going to try to reblog this – my digital skills are limited. Brilliant!

    Like

  18. TanGental says:

    Very funny list Charles. And painfully apt.

    Like

  19. Rachel says:

    Some of those points sound way too familiar.

    Like

  20. adeleulnais says:

    Oh God, I recognise the symptoms in me. Especially the editing dream and the possession one, oh dear and the reality tv. I`ll just go and hide in a corner.

    Like

  21. Glynis Jolly says:

    I’ve been a coffee-holic since I was pregnant with my son (he’s now 40 years old). Yet lately I find myself in automatic mode getting another mug of coffee and either not enjoy it because the taste has changed or letting it get cold and wretched, and therefore, not drinking it.

    Still, I question whether this is author fatigue or a change in me that could improve my writing.

    Like

    • Good question. I’ve had that happen with foods that I overindulge in. Eventually, they lose their spark and I need to take a break for a while. Usually happens with a type of candy or cereal for me.

      Like

  22. Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog and commented:
    I believe I am exhibiting 8 of these 7 signs. How about you?

    Like

  23. Great list.
    You catch yourself watching Reality TV. Worse is that it has given you a story idea that can only be removed with a lobotomy. <haha.

    Keeping your humour is a good sign!

    Like

  24. Reblogged this on Julian Froment's Blog and commented:
    Fun Post wiith some important medical advice contained herein.

    Like

  25. Reblogged this on Writer's Treasure Chest and commented:
    What a unique blog post about the 7 signs a person is suffering from author fatigue. I had to re-blog it. Maybe some of us recognize the one or other sign? 😀

    Like

  26. Pingback: Top of 2016 #2: 7 Signs a Person is Suffering from Author Fatigue | Legends of Windemere

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