Way back in 2002, I wrote a funny ‘song’ called ‘The Shire’s On Fire’. My friend Greg and I have odd conversations that lead to bizarre stuff. This was one and I sent the ‘song’ to him. I lost my version, but I recently found his Hip-Hop/DDR Remix in an old email.
So, here it is to brighten your day:
Scouring of the Shire from Return of the King
Here’s the remix. It’s got a strange rhythm to it, but you’ll catch on. Also, it doesn’t really end, it just kind of stops.
All:
Flaming Shire!! Flaming Shire!!
Frodo:
It’s on fire!! It’s on fire!!
All:
Flaming Shire!! Flaming Shire!!
Gollum:
It burns us!!
Merry:
Theeeeeeeeeeeeeee……
Shire’s on Fire!
The flames are rising higher
We’re all starting to perspire
and the situation’s dire!
Pip:
In the back of Gandalf’s wagon
Me and Merry lit the dragon
It soon sparked some oily rags and then
Nearly took off Bilbo Baggins’ head
*running n screaming*
Bilbo: Nonsense!!
Not in 1000 years
Has a dragon ventured here
You won’t fool me with that jest, you see
Now remind me where I left my weed
All:
Flaming Shire!! Flaming Shire!!
Frodo:
I’m on fire!! I’m on fire!!
All:
Flaming Shire!! Flaming Shire!!
Sam:
Mr Frodo!!
Still Sam:
The Shire’s on Fire!
The smoke is in profusion
Causing panic and delusions
Pandemonium! Confusion!
Gollum:
Shire!! Baggins!!
Nazgul:
*SKREEEEE*
Gandalf:
Keep it safe and keep it secret
Just don’t tell me where you keep it
Screw it then, I’ll take it back
Where in hell is Shadowfax?
All:
Flaming Shire!! Flaming Shire!!
Frodo:
You’re a thief!! And you’re a liar!!
All:
Flaming Shire!! Flaming Shire!!
Smeagol:
The precious!!
Gandalf:
The Shire’s on Fire!
Throughout the land of Middle Earth
None will miss these halfling twerps
You know what this ring is worth?!
Smeagol: They takes it from us!!!
Gollum:
Those Hobbitses despise us
So we’ll gouge out their eyeses
Take the precious from those bastards
And then we will be the masters
Legends of Windemere 
This is hilarious and awesome! ^_^ Made me smile. 😀
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Good to hear. 🙂
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For some reason, I’m picture Queen (from the Freddy Mercury days) singing this song.
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I picture a redneck with a banjo singing this on his porch. Though I got the live performance years ago.
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Very funny. It is a wonder the authorities allowed you to go free. Hobbit is as Hobbit Does
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We had a scapegoat. Not sure where he went after this one.
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Ha! I am also picturing Freddy Mercury singing this. That is awesome. Maybe you should start writing more tunes Charles! Give Biebs something decent to sing…
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I can’t take credit for this. As the title says this was all Greg. He remixed it like a drunken pro.
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Brilliant. Love it.
Signed The White Rider. 😉
Don’t mind the Gravatar…;)
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The Shire, the Shire, the Shire’s On Fire.
We don’t need no water, let the motherbleeper burn.
Signed,
Sauron & Company
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0ikNY3712g
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I suppose that should have been Saruman & Wormtongue, oh well….
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Funny nonetheless. Gave me a good laugh. 🙂
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Considering writing the whole thing and having a Rap Battle Extraordinaire…;)
But I need to play some music, and do a Steve boylan for fun.
Who am I kidding, once a songs in my head it’s got to be written.
I’m West Koast Krew, Charlie, we Koming for you.;)
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I’ll warn the author. He’s an elusive little bastard.
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Me to. So it probably won’t be that rough a battle.
I’m already in Japan….;)
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In that case, Greg will gladly come to you. He wants to go to Japan.
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Oh good lord, I’m in Australia now…. Ummm en guarde.
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You could do a post on what makes Gollum such an awesome character. 🙂
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I should. Though, I don’t think it would be as funny as this. 🙂
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Oh my….lol
Sent from an island in the sun
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This is what happens when Greg and I are left unsupervised. Actually, this is rather tame compared to some of the other things.
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Send him along a hello, he makes you look almost normal, is what you’re saying? I find that difficult to believe.
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Not in any way. We make each other seem psychotic, but in a comedy duo type of way.
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I want in on the fun.
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Come to NYC and I’ll see if I can wrangle him into a hangout. He’s rather hard to pin down.
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Pin him down? Nacho libre!
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We did watch a lot of WWE back in the day. I’d look bad in tights though.
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Polka dot ones?
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Horizontal stripes . . . purple and yellow.
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I wrote this a month ago. A parody set to Neil Diamond ~ Hallelujah about Gandalf.
http://wp.me/p3NHOl-hp
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That was great. Reading it to the music made it even better.
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Thanks Charles. You’d die if I tried to sing it.
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Charles, you win the Daily Good Cheer Award, for writing this epic song parody, which provided us great entertainment and good cheer even as you are sick with the flu.
http://wp.me/P3NHOl-Kw
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Thanks. I’ll share the good news with my silent partner in crime. 🙂
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Nice way to start the morning! 😀
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Good to hear. My friend is getting a kick out of people liking his remix.
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Has the fever broken? Hahaha! Great lyrics, Charles…
Ellespeth
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Fever broke. All I have left is a bad cough and congestion. Makes sleeping tough.
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Very awesome! ❤
This takes me back… I spoofed "Grandma Got Run-over By A Reigndeer" as "Frodo Got Run-over By A Nazgul" many years ago…
Frodo got run over by a Nazgul
On his way to Rivendel from Bree
You can say there's no such thing as Ring Wraiths
But as for me 'n Strider, we believe
Sam was cooking too much sausage
Bacon and tomatoes too,
When the Nazgul saw the fire
And had a craving for a Hobbit stew
All the odds were stacked against us
With five Nazgul, it gets tough!
They stabbed Frodo in the shoulder
But Strider took a torch and ran 'em off
Frodo got run over by a Nazgul
On his way to Rivendel from Bree
You can say there's no such thing as Ring Wraiths
But as for me 'n Strider, we believe
Glorfindel was sent to find us
He was going right on course
But then sudd'nly out of nowhere
Arwen knocked him down and took his horse
Either way the Nazgul gathered
On the far side of the ford
Give us that thar little halfling
We want to take him back to our Dark Lord
Frodo got run over by a Nazgul
On his way to Rivendel from Bree
You can say there's no such thing as Ring Wraiths
But as for me 'n Strider, we believe
Now our Frodo's safe with Elrond
And his shoulder's doing fine
So lets throw some folks together
And send them all back out to face the nine!
I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
Never trust a meddling Maia
Or take advice on jewelry from the elves
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That was hilarious and very well done. You should find a way to put this to music.
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Pretty funny.
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