Dear ‘Superior’ Driver

I should apologize to you about this morning.  I know my 5 miles above the speed limit was getting in the way of your 15-20 miles above the speed limit.  I can’t believe I had the gall to be in the far right, slow lane when doing it too.  It really must have ruined your morning drive, especially with that open space in the next lane over.  You must have felt trapped and terrified.  That must be why, when you finally found the courage to go around me, that you cut off one of our fellow drivers.  Sure, there was nobody in front of you in the fast lane or in front of him in the middle lane.  You also didn’t seem to be racing toward an exit, but I’m sure you have your rational reasons.

I must commend you for your beautiful use of your bright headlights.  The way you flicked them on and off for thirty seconds was simply poetic.  The only way I could have enjoyed it more is if I was epileptic.  You are truly a master of your trade, which I assume is speeding down the parkway in the right hand lane.

I don’t know your know or where you live, but I do want to give you a two prizes.  One is simply a title, which is ‘King of the Parkway’.  The other is harder because I don’t know how to send it to you.  I’m going to need your help.  Just following these instructions, my fast-living friend:

  1. Grab the brightest flashlight in your house.
  2. Make sure the batteries are working.
  3. Hold the flashlight a few inches from your face, so you can see it clearly.
  4. Make sure flashlight is facing you.  Otherwise, you’ll just like silly.
  5. Spend the next 30 seconds turning it on and off while you stare at it.
  6. Enjoy your prize.

Again, I apologize for ruining your morning speed limit shattering.  I certainly deserved to be practically blinded on a twisting, turning road that is infamous for early morning accidents.  I hope you enjoy your day and that karma bites you in the Achilles tendon.  Good day.

Sincerely,

A Fellow Driver

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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49 Responses to Dear ‘Superior’ Driver

  1. prayingforoneday says:

    Please accept this award:

    http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/interesting-blog-award/

    Interesting Blog Award

    Thanks
    Shaun

    Like

  2. Stupid thoughtless people suck. Hope your day gets better

    Like

  3. katemsparkes says:

    Jeez, what an arse! Thanks for the laugh, though.

    It’s funny how differently I looked at this after I made the mental switch from kms to miles. I often do 10-15 over… but not miles.

    And of course, I never ride another car’s back end to try to get the driver to speed up, I don’t make rude gestures or yell at them to MOVE! and I would NEVER flash my lights at them. That’s just rude and dangerous. OK, if they were going under the limit in good weather and wouldn’t pull over to let anyone pass, I’d probably be saying things they couldn’t hear. (We don’t have a lot of multi-lane freeways in these here parts) 😉

    Sorry you had to start your day that way. I always like to imagine that people like that got pulled over later and god a big, fat ticket..

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  4. So it appears that drivers are the same the world over. Some people are just like this in the UK too.

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  5. Bastet says:

    Oh how often I’ve wished to give an award to my fellow drivers! Very funny though I’m sorry it put a wrinkle in your day…

    Like

  6. L. Marie says:

    I TOTALLY feel your pain! I had to write a blog post myself awhile back about irate drivers. Arrrrrggggghhhhhh!

    Like

  7. Saunved says:

    I experienced that…not as a driver but as a front seat passenger. And in the main city centre…don’t ask me! 😀

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  8. Charles sorry but that was too funny I laughed out loud. Hope your next drive is uneventful.

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    • Thanks. The one after was slightly less eventful. Still had traffic, tailgaters, and a few people that thought the parking lane was for passing. I swear, some people leave their brains in a jar in the fridge when they go out driving.

      Like

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