I’m broken. Just battered to the point of thinking my existence is entirely about pain and suffering. Events of this week have made it that the foreseeable future will be almost constant agony. I have no refuge or place to go to relax. So, anyone who tries to be positive and hopeful in the comments better be ready for backlash. I’m not in the mood or mindset to believe that my life can improve. At least not for the rest of this year.
Yeah . . . That’s really it. I got no real writing done. Some editing and a few blog posts for March. The rest of my week was dealing with the ‘life event’ and the ensuing aftermath of that ending. Didn’t end in a way I fully agree with and I can already see that things are going to be messy going forward. Honestly, I’m so tired of dealing with people who think only of themselves, use me like a tool, lash out at me if I assert any independent thought, and flat out lie to my face. This goes for every facet of my life. I feel like this entire week was a punishment for a crime I don’t remember committing. Monday is going to be rough because I can already tell that I’m not shedding the anxiety and frustration. It’s too much bad shit at once.
The goals for this week were so simple and lame, but that’s probably for the best. I didn’t get to help my son study for most of his midterms due to scheduling, the ‘life event’, and other stuff. Global and Algebra I were the only tests I got to help him with, which he got in the 90’s for. Not sure how the other tests went. Probably get the grades throughout next week, so fingers crossed. As far as the other goals, I did have hot wings, finished ‘Flame of Recca’, and started ‘Highlander’.
Being unable to speak about specifics, I really don’t know where else to go. Might be like this for a bit. Next week is when some of the effects of this week kick in. Not in a good way either. Can’t even imagine trying to write or edit. I have my son this weekend, so we’re going to do some fun stuff. Pokemon Go, a few movies, pizza, and see what else we can do. After the week, I think we both need a quiet, simple weekend to recover our senses and sanity. Will it happen? Not a clue. I’m going to focus mostly on making sure my son has fun and gets through the changes coming. Can’t see any way that I can make my own lot in life improve, so I might as well protect him from things.
Sorry that this is a bummer of a post. I have nothing good to report. If anything good happened, I don’t remember it because of the rest of the nightmare. Taking me over an hour to write this because I keep crying. Even had to stress puke once because I have no other release. Writing this Friday night, so I don’t even know how well I’ll sleep. Probably have to take my anxiety meds along with a full Zzzquil dose. I just wish I can gain some stability and positive events. Don’t expect it from 2024, but I’d like for the actions, ideas, and desires of others to stop fucking me over. I never get a say in the things that happen to me any more.
Goal of the week:
- Survive.
Legends of Windemere 
A reasonable goal, Charles. Along with deep breaths. Have you tried meditation? Even 15 minutes can help but the trick is clearing your mind. Always a problem with me…
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Meditation won’t help with this. There’s no clearing of my mind because the situations are bad.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Things are bound to get better so hand in there…
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I’ve been told that for months. Things are steadily getting worse. At this point, better is a dream that I won’t expect in y lifetime.
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You have my deepest sympathy.
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Thanks.
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Carry on. That’s the only thing I can think of.
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It’s difficult these days.
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Charles, I just hope your life becomes less of an event.
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I hope so too. Just seems my life keeps throwing more events at me.
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Charles, you picked a good song to accompany your bad to worse situation. Hang in there! Sending a hug! 🤗 Christine
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Thanks. Wasn’t sure if it fit.
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A sad post, Charles. I can only say I’m sorry you have to bear this crap.
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Thanks. Bear crap definitely describes it.
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Great typo .
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I’m in favor of a dart board with a certain person’s picture in the center. Or, there’s always writing her as the next villain who meets an untimely demise in your stories…
Not that I’m guessing where the shitstorm came from this week or anything…
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There’s more than one person and arena in chaos. In fact, there is no longer any facet of my life that is stable or relaxing.
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Well, geez. You need a few dart boards.
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Need a new life or a meteor strike.
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The former *is* statistically more within reach.
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True. The latter has less chance of being undone afterwards though.
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I listened, and I’m sorry you have to go through this. Your goal is spot on.
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Thanks. Be nice to achieve that goal.
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Yup. You’re welcome.
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