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Welcome to the berry farm. We have all types of fruits that people call berries. I’m sure someone is going to point out what is and isn’t a berry on our list. Just know that we’re aware, but that doesn’t change what we do. Each one can turn you into something different. Some are specific and others are general. Here’s a list of what we have on the bush today. Enjoy and I recommend no grazing. Don’t want to make a bad combo and lose time while our resident de-transmographer does her work. Just a friendly warning to you all.
- Blackberry– Transform into any nocturnal creature. Effects wear off at dawn even if eaten during the day. Clothes will not be changed as well.
- Raspberry– Tongue transforms into a long, prehensile organ with a possible version that includes retractable barbs. Fairly popular with children.
- Strawberry– Transform into a figure of randomly chosen vapor. Chances include toxic gas, perfume, spectral vapor, smoke, mist, and acid. Wind can move you around, but not tear you apart. Beware of vacuums.
- Blueberry– Transform into any blue-skinned fictional character. Eating multiple blueberries can turn you into an amalgamation of characters.
- Acai– Transforms you into a berry-producing plant. We hold all rights to whatever you sprout, but will leave you with some as thanks.
- Elderberries– Transform into an older version of yourself. One berry adds 10 years with no limits. Death will not be caused by these berries, but you may not like what it feels like to 200.
- Cloudberries– Transform into a bird. No downside, but kiwis, ostriches, emus, penguins, and other flightless birds are possibilities.
- Cranberries– Turns a person into a zombie for a day. Cannot transmit the infection or choose type of zombie. Popular with students who have tests.
- Lingonberries– Transform into a rabbit. We don’t know why, but it’s what these berries do.
- Red and Black Currants– Fingers transform into sprinklers with each one having a different type of spray. Cannot be turned off. Popular with gardeners, housewives, and spring breakers.
- Gooseberries– Transform into a were-goose complete with bad attitude. Useful for handling problematic neighbors and door-to-door annoyances.
- Goji Berries– Transform into a dog for a full day. No ability to speak and you need to provide your own tags. Remember local leash laws.
- Grapes– Physical abilities increase as you get angrier and more wrathful. Your body will become bigger and more ogre-like.
- Loganberries– Transform into a syrupy ooze that stains things red. Your skin will remain this color for one week after turning back.
- Mulberries– Transform eyes into special lenses that can see various light wavelengths. It can cause hallucinations.
- Salmonberries– Transform into a fish. Best to do when near a large body of water for breathing and in case of large shark form.
- Boysenberries– Heads is transformed into that of a poisonous animal complete with venom sacs. Created due to use thinking they were called Poisonberries. Too popular to discontinue.
This is brilliant, Charles. Had to laugh out loud at the elderberry comment about you may not like how you feel at 200. The rest were entertaining too.
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Thanks. That one came right to me.
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😁
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You made me laugh out loud!!! 😅 😂 I need about ten of those gooseberries.
The Acai one is priceless!
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Thanks. Totally forgot where the açaí one came from. I think it had something to do with how they’re harvested.
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I’d take a pint of cloudberries and a handful of blackberries to see if I can turn into an owl!
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Interesting combo. Worst case is you get a bat/kiwi combo. Can still fly.
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These berries are all great but did you know that bananas are berries? They make you extremely hirsute, muscular and prone to eating leaves 🦍😂
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Yeah. I was torn of using those due to controversy.
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👍😃
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Only an ape would know that.
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Yep 🦍😂
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Can I learn to play the guitar if I buy a Chuck Berry?
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No, but they’ll improve your pitching game.
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