The Enchanted Sword Shop: No Stabbing in the Store

Final Fantasy Weapon Shop

Welcome to our little sword shop.  Every blade has been enchanted to do something different by type.  Why?  We get things in bulk and can’t afford have an in-house enchanter.  Not since most of them got eaten by trolls and the survivors decided to stay in their towers.  Anyway, take a look at our wares and don’t touch without permission.  If you feel the urge to test a weapon then please note that we have security to stop you.  His name is Paul and he gets a bonus for every punch he delivers.  Enjoy.

  • Longsword– The classic, which comes with a basic strength enhancement.  Favorite for the elderly.
  • Rapier–  Fancy and fast with a layer of acid on the blade.  Please do not lick blade to intimidate.
  • Falchion–  Big blade that can be thrown and return like a boomerang.  No guarantee that you will catch the handle instead of the blade.
  • Claymore–  Two-hander is able to release a blast of wind.  Power of gale depends on strength of swing, so not recommended for small people.
  • Saber– Popular curved blade that is flexible like rubber.  Really not useful for parrying, slashing, and . . . We think this is really a toy.
  • Cutlass– Pirate sword!  Totally cursed to wander the sea alone, but still our most popular seller.  Can point to buried treasure.
  • Katana–  Japanese blade that can summon 6 other warriors.  They don’t help.  They just critique your style and give you pointers.
  • Scimitar– Another curved blade that can open portals if slashed a certain way.  No clue where the portals lead.
  • Gladius–  Straight blade that inflicts laughter when it pierces the skin.
  • Viking Sword– Straight blade that releases a bone-chilling howl whenever blocked
  • Shortsword– Small blade that can shrink anything it cuts
  • Hook Sword– Come in pairs and can be transformed into wings when put together and pressed to back.  It will feel like you have hooks in your shoulders until you revert them back to blades.
  • Machete– Lawn care.  It’s over in the garden department.
  • Basket-Hilt Sword– Fires colorful eggs from the hilt.  10% chance eggs are rotten and 1% chance that they will contain poison candy.
  • Flamberge– Flame-shaped blade with ice powers because the enchanter thinks he’s a comedian.  He’s not.
  • Gauntlet Sword– Metal gauntlet with a blade attached and the power to create thousands of bubbles with every swing.  You’d think this is fun at parties, but you would be very wrong.
  • Greatsword– Largest of our blades with the power to telepathically give the wielder compliments to maintain a healthy self-esteem.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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11 Responses to The Enchanted Sword Shop: No Stabbing in the Store

  1. L. Marie says:

    Hilarious and inventive. (Flamberge, Gauntlet sword, and other definitions of swords.) This is also a great resource for the names of these swords.

    Like

  2. This was very humorous. I always enjoy visiting the shops. I think the greatsword could become a good friend to the wielder

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lou Carreras says:

    As a San Dan in Iaido I laughed at your description of the katana. Just like being in dojo while preparing for a Nationals seminar – a number of sempai, and sensei giving pointers on your embu, and telling you ” if you can’t fix that before next week, you’ll never make yon ( fourth) dan.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. V.M.Sang says:

    I love this. Very clever ideas.
    I would like to purchase a short sword please. I like the idea of shrinking huge enemies to something manageable.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love the Katana. Soooo helpful.

    Like

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