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Yeah. This isn’t romantic at all, but Valentine’s Day isn’t really my holiday. It does get me thinking about how closely linked love and pain are. To be in love, you open yourself to another and expose yourself to the pain. That pain can make you cherish love more or be afraid of it. The two emotions are so intricately linked that you see them combined in fiction and reality all the time. Most, if not all, people have experienced the entwined sensations at some point. Sadly, it could be one of the few things everyone can relate to on some level. So, let’s get to talking.
- Do you agree that love and pain are connected and why?
- How do you use that in your writing? If not an author, what do you think of it in fiction?
- What is your favorite love/pain example in fiction?
Legends of Windemere 
1. Loving anyone makes you vulnerable. When that person hurts, you hurt. When that person hurts you, you’re doubly hurt.
2. I tend to use unrequited love a lot. Or if two people are headed toward coupledom, they’re definitely going to suffer along the way. Not a fan of instalove—the path of love being very smooth.
3. I can’t say I have one favorite. I really like what you did with Clyde and Mab’s relationship. I’m not a big fan of the doomed relationships many people swoon over (Romeo & Juliet; Heathcliff and Catherine). I am a fan of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet’s relationship.
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1. Good point on the vulnerability. Especially if the one you love causes pain. Think people forget that it can hurt double. Most think you shrug off the abuse from a lover one with ease.
2. Never been good at writing unrequited. I think I like my fictional relationships shared. The pining for someone who isn’t interested frustrates me for some reason
3. With you on the doomed ones. With Clyde and Mab, I had trouble with it due to the divorce. May have thrown more pain than originally intended into that one.
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These are tough questions. I think with any love there is the possibility for pain. Whether they are connected is determined by the actions of those in love. If it is one-sided the pain is inevitable. If it is mutual and deep, pain may be absent until the occasion when one or the other suffers pain not related to the relationship. I keep love at a low level in my books. It can be there but not a major story element. The only fictional love/pain example I can think of is Casablanca.
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This is why love is so complicated. 🙂
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Yes it is.
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Yeah, not a good one to ask about this one. I try to dabble in my stories, but almost need lessons.
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Same here.
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