Stanford’s Stylish Sword Shop: Don’t Lick the Merchandise

Final Fantasy 9 Store

Welcome!  Come on in out of the rain and put your umbrella in the bucket.  I assume you’re looking for a magical sword.  Why else would you have ventured out into such a maelstrom?  It did strike without warning, but you know how the weather is around these parts. Very unpredictable.  Now, what can I get for you?

The first part is to choose the type of blade that you want.  Too many think a sword is just a sword, but you need the right tool for the right job.  For example, you can’t take this claymore and use it for stealthy assassinations.  It’s too big and unwieldly, so you’re looking more at daggers or a shortsword.  Probably not the best example, but you get the point.  Consider your build, fighting style, and intentions before you think about what looks good.  I can only comment on the first part, which makes me want to direct you to the lighter weapons.  Straight blades are for our piercers and curved blades are better for slashing deep.  We’re out of Kilij, but a Shamshir has a similar curve if that’s what you want.  Great.

Hilt decorations and scabbards are next.  Not the most important part, so we get them out of the way.  We have tassels, gems, studs, etchings, and more for the hilt and handle, but the Shamshir doesn’t have a lot to work with.  The hilt is thin and simple, but maybe we can shape it to your liking.  A man with his arms out holding obsidian orbs can be done.  Do you want his body and legs to be the handle?  Then he can be standing on . . . I believe we got a pearl shipment in yesterday.  Now, the scabbard gives you more variety.  You want us to make it look like a rusty piece of junk?  Good point. That would dissuade thieves.  I will add some faded pictures and maybe some spots where one would think gemstones once sat.

Time for the fun part.  What kind of enchantments do you want?  We have everything you can imagine.  Healing, elemental, illusion, nature, cosmic, enhancement, demonic, angelic, psychic, transformation, cooking, and the list keeps on going.  If you can dream up a spell then our casters can put it into a sword.  In fact, our shop is known for having exceptionally potent weapons.  The trick is to cast a very specific moment, which is a trade secret.  For the Shamshir, I would say you have a three spell limit depending on the combinations.  One large would be everything, but you can do three small or two moderate with one small.  Maybe a small could be squeezed in there with the large if it’s restricted.  What’s our most popular enchantment?  Surprisingly, it’s weather control.  I don’t know why.  Sell about five of those every week.  Hey, looks like the storm stopped.  Now, have you made a decision on the spells?

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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13 Responses to Stanford’s Stylish Sword Shop: Don’t Lick the Merchandise

  1. I love it. A bullshit detector would be a great spell. Then I could immediately put the cutting edge to good use.


  2. Laughed out loud at the weather control enhancement. Fun stuff, Charles.


  3. L. Marie says:

    Yay! I love shopping at these shoppes! I assume magical runes on the blade or hilt come standard, or are they extra? Also do you carry any swords with a backstory involving a prophecy? If so, I would like to avoid those, since they usually have to be wielded by a chosen one.


  4. I’ll always remember the Sword of Incidental Music our GM used to give out, when certain characters tried to sneak around and grab the treasure before the rest of the party. It always gave them away, once the other players learned what was going on during that music.


    • Funny idea. They never knew what it did beforehand?

      Liked by 1 person

      • No, this particular character snuck ahead and grabbed anything they thought looked valuable before the other players could see it. Then he secretly messed around to find out what they did. (Asking the party’s mage to ID it would have spoiled the fun.)

        So he grabbed the Sword of Incidental Music, and it was cursed. He couldn’t get rid of the telltale music. The rest of us knew the player was stealing party treasure, so we refused to help him on a quest to remove the curse.

        If I recall, the Sword of Incidental Music actually came from Dragon Magazine during an April Fool’s issue, but the GM decided to make it a cursed item because of this one player.


      • Really hope that character was a thief since that’s the only way such a mentality would makes sense.

        Liked by 1 person

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