7 Reasons Not to Anger an Illusion Caster

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You might laugh at the gnome making funny illusions in the bar.  Right now, he’s trying to win the heart of a lovely woman.  That’s the mood you want him to stay in.  There are many reasons not to anger a master of manipulating reality.  Sure, you might be able to see through the spells, but can you do it before you’re defeated?

  1. Illusionists may affect the senses, but that can trigger other reactions.  Allergies are one option if you’re going for pranks.  Another is using illusions to physically push a target to the point of collapse.  If you can’t summon ghosts then make some of your own. A dragon might be tough, but you can always have only the head come bursting through the wall.  This is extra deadly if you have a heart condition.
  2. You will never live down the picture of you making out with that Paladin’s warhorse.  I know you thought it was a beautiful elf that was running a kissing booth.  Sadly, that was a lie and you defiled a holy animal.  On the plus side, it’s easy to outrun a man wearing a suit of platemail and swinging a sword the size of a small building.
  3. That is one gigantic army coming at you.  It’s amazing that they can even get through the forest without knocking over every tree.  Doesn’t help that somebody put a mountain behind your own army, which everyone swears wasn’t there the night before.  Probably an earth wizard had it rise because you heard the noise.  That’s all it could be, right?  Not like the mountain is fake and most of the marching army is fake with only a handful of adventurers hidden in the ranks to do the real damage.
  4. Why does everyone look like your ex-wife or ex-husband now?
  5. You’re ready for strange sights, eerie noises, foul smells, and whatever else that illusionist has in store for you.  Nothing will . . . Odd that your fresh coffee tastes like used bathwater.  That chicken tasted a little off too.  Did somebody switch your toothpaste with year old tuna fish?  You’d try to fix it with a cup of water, but it tastes like somebody dropped a dead skunk in the water supply.  Still, none of this will stop you from seeing through that illusionist’s tricks.
  6. You are locked in a state of total paranoia.  Every chair is a potential for an embarrassing fall.  Doorknobs aren’t exactly where you see them.  There’s also that one step at the top or bottom that you trip over.  Every Monday, you leave your bathroom to find that the landlord is doing an inspection and she is never happy to see you with the open robe.
  7. Nothing happens.  You continue adventuring and making a name for yourself.  Marry a beautiful spouse who is wealthy and you get to live a life of luxury.  Kids come and grow up to give you grandkids.  This is the perfect life that you always dreamed of.  Then you learn: ALL OF IT IS A LIE!  You just spent your entire existence trapped in an illusionary world where time works differently.  It’s only been a week, but you remember decades of a life that may never come to pass.  This is why you never piss off an Illusionist.  They will break you.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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37 Responses to 7 Reasons Not to Anger an Illusion Caster

  1. N. N. Light says:

    Love this post! 🙂


  2. That brings some real strength to the illusionist. They could be much more devastating than I previously thought.


  3. Bookwraiths says:

    God, after reading No. 7, I now wish I had this illusionist power, so I could lock a few of my nemeses in an imaginary world. 😦


  4. Really could identify with number four. Would make my blood run cold.


  5. That last one gave me the creeps (and would make an excellent short story)! Great post.


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