We asked an expert to swing by and give some tips for putting romance into another genre. He made a wrong turn and ended up in the Bedlam series, so now we’re stuck with Delvin. Take it away, Mercenary Prince.
- Always remember their name. Seriously, nothing will get you hit quicker than saying the wrong name. In fact, you’re probably in a bad spot if you have to juggle so many women. That’s how you get beaten in an alley by a mob of angry women. Totally justifiable, which is why I avoid this situation. That and I’m a one woman type of guy. I have a specific . . . is it getting hot in here?
- This tip is a little tricky. You can compliment other women, but be careful with how you do it. Going too far will get you in trouble with your girlfriend. You know, this seems to get me in trouble pretty often. Maybe I should rethink this tip. Nah, you can still say another woman is pretty because everybody likes compliments. Just save the good ones for your lady. Like one time I told Nyx . . . seriously, is somebody playing with the fireplace?
- Learn how to cook. This goes for both genders. Satisfying the heart is important during romance, but you’re not getting very far if both people are hungry. That’s not counting a bad meal where everyone is throwing up. For example, there was one time where Nyx tried to . . . okay, now I hear growling.
- Choosing a location for a first date should be handled with care. Ask her friends what she likes or try to strike up a casual conversation that might reveal a place she always wants to go to. If that fails then do what a dwarf once suggested to me. Take a quick drink of ale and ask where she wants to go. I don’t know exactly how well this works because Nyx keeps avoiding my question . . . anybody have a towel because I’m sweating a lot here?
- Never underestimate the fun of a walk. There really isn’t any pressure here and you can talk about anything. Most people wouldn’t call this a date, but I think it’s a good idea at any stage of a relationship to do these kinds of things. I mean, you see elderly couples doing this all the time, which means there’s something to it. The gods know I hope Nyx and I . . . I have this urge to eat barbecue.
- Become friends with her friends. If the relationship goes further than a first date then you’re going to be interacting with these people. They can have an impact on your future, so best not to make them mad. To be fair, I have an advantage here because we’re all champions. I’m pretty sure everyone supports me and . . . where is everybody running to?
- The final tip is about the first kiss. Now *knocked through wall by fire blast* Why do these attacks never burn me?