A Sign of Some Kind
This one is easy . . . or difficult depending on your mood. This isn’t even a question, so much as a challenge to have fun with. On your blog or in the comments, it’s up to you.
- Write a Newspaper Want Ad for Henchmen.
Enjoy!
P.S.- For any younger visitors, a newspaper is like the Internet news sites, but they’re thrown at your front door and get ink on your fingers. You may have seen them lining a bird cage.
Legends of Windemere 
I’ve caused a bit of an internet traffic jam today, but I always love these. Her’s my five second version:
Storm the castle with your friends. Share the spoils. Involves skilled work with pointy things. Excellent benefits package, including cremation on the spot you fall, with three professional mourners. Super powers not required, because we will make you a cyborg anyway. Apply today and start in time for our monthly cookie exchange.
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Awww. No superpowered cyborgs? I’m guessing the cookie exchange results in everyone, except the boss, getting oatmeal raisin.
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Or store bought ginger snaps.
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Ewww.
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Wanted Henchpeople for Nefarious Work
Looking for motivated people to assist our conquest of the world. Must have the following skill set:
• Black belt in at least two martial arts disciplines
• Adept at all manner of firearms and explosives
• Knowledgeable about Photoshop, along with advanced creative writing ability (to maintain the blog and social media accounts)
• Advanced knowledge of computer programming
• Knowledge of all manner of animals, particularly reptiles, arachnids, and members of the pantherinae family (tigers, lions, etc.)
• Good people skills
• Exceptional map reading skill
• Knowledgeable about chemical compounds
Must have a commercial driver’s license and your own life insurance policy. Must also be beta people who work well with alphas.
We offer a comprehensive health insurance policy that you’ll undoubtedly need.
An Equal Opportunity Employer
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Good thing about that health insurance. I think that alone will get a lot of people. Though I hope you’re flexible on the skill sets.
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Like all megalomaniacs I am inflexible!
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WANTED
Cannon Fodder and Suckers to assist in World Domination.
Must enjoy pain and dying in interestingly inventive ways including, but not limited to:
Flying through the air and going SPLAT against various hard surfaces
Hanging over precipices by their finger nails or one toe
Trying to keep ahead of ravenous beasts in foot races
Etc.
Must love cats…
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For some reason, the cats thing worries me the most.
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Purrfect for MasterVillans 😄😄😄
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Join in the comments on Charles’ blog -Have fun 👍😄
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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Welcome Charles – great fun 👍😃
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Great challenge. Off the top of my head, because if I think about this too much I’ll get really silly…
Are you tired of the cutesy, bug-eyed, excruciatingly happy creatures in overalls? Do they make you want to crush a grape, or better yet – a banana? Do you want to light candle under them and make a giant Stewart flavoured blancmange? Then you are our kind of minion.
Here at True Henchmen you will be taught the skills to be taken seriously, you’ll even be taught how to make blancmange. For an application form, contact…
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Did Vector take over your blog? Guess he gets the Internet on the moon. 🙂
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Ha! He has his nefarious ways 🙂
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This is just too much fun to resist.
Blind ad placed by well-established employer: Seeking adventurous wannabe-henchmen and women who are willing and able to participate in random acts of ______(censored) in places we cannot tell you about until after you sign our client’s slightly voluminous but easy-to-understand-without-a-lawyer contract. Must have experience with split second decision making, have an innate style-consciousness, and be able to identify plot lines and random quotations from all James Bond movies on demand. Must be drop dead gorgeous, since we take pictures of everybody at our annual henchmen & henchwoman party in ________(location confidential). All reasonable expenses pre-paid, with a generous $ 25.40 per diem for your swanky bar tab. If you can’t pry information out of your random daily bar-stool contact for $ 25.40, you’re just not up to our exacting standards. In that case, don’t waste our time, or yours. Keep your soul and enjoy your boring life.
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Sounds like a very serious job offer. Definitely a no nonsense operation. I have to admit that you wrote this so well, I almost mistook it for spam at first sight. Great job.
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Okay now here’s da deal. Da boss needs a couple a good guys to do some special projects see. He’s willing to pay good dough see. Youse also get benefits like shootin’ pool and playin’ cards. Youse need to apply in person and tell em Rocko sent ya. (Oh yeah. Youse need a pinstripe suit and fedora. We ain’t no store.)
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What if I have a zoot suit and fez? I got it on sale.
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That’s fine as long as the fez is from the Knights of Columbus.
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It says ‘Target Exclusive’, which sounds like a bad item to wear as a henchman.
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Yeah, I would pass on that.
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Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂
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