http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4JUZhF9Kx8
*This became a rant.*
Things are stressful here and I’ve said that every weekend. Broken record syndrome, but I’m going to try to get a little more into it. Mostly because this week seemed to bring everything to a head. A few breakdowns for people, arguments, attitude, and just feeling like we just can’t win. Try to wrap your head around having to explain to a 6-year-old why you’re worried about money since he overheard the conversation. Even worse when he does the ‘things will be okay, daddy’ and you’re left wondering if he means it or is mimicking what you say when he’s upset.
I’m not the one job hunting, but I’m doing whatever I can to help the wife think of things to do. This week was us snapping at each other over everything. When she’s stressed or down, she gives attitude. When I get stressed or down, I shout. Not a good combo, especially when you factor in how much bullshit is involved in job hunting these days. At least if you’re trying to make enough to pay bills and survive. Yes, anyone can find a job, but that doesn’t mean it will help because it might pay so poorly that you end up further in the hole because of gas, food, and whatever else you need to pay into for the job.
It’s so frustrating to see so many resumes go out and no response come back. You read articles that say ‘One should follow up 2 days after sending a resume’ and then another that says ‘Following up on a resume will eliminate you from consideration’. You sign up with a temp agency in the hopes of getting some work or a permanent position, but that results in a headache. No responses, your agent isn’t there, they’re still negotiating their finder’s fee, sorry we forgot to tell you the job went to someone else, and so many other things while you’re still trying to find work. My wife said it best on the phone that she understands these people have to do their job, but while they drag stuff on, she isn’t working. Unemployment dries up eventually and those people seem to be the only ones that are optimistic about things right now. Gotta give them credit for trying to keep people’s spirits up.
Does that end our stress? Fuck no! Bring on the medical insurance company that we get through the State. You get what you pay for here. They argued against my yearly eye exam even though I double-checked with them. They argued against my son getting laughing gas for his first tooth being pulled. They argued against him having blood tests by the allergist and I think I remember they trying to weasel out of the epi-pens and inhalers. Every medical visit we’ve done with these people ends up being a fight. Since my wife is the primary, they usually don’t talk with me, so she has to make the calls on top of the job hunting. Though we’ve agreed that the next time they call, I’m stepping in and using the language that I feel they’ve earned. Still, added stress and tears that have led to several breakdowns.
This hasn’t just been our week, but the last 2 months and things feel more and more dire as time passes. I’ve been looking around myself and I’ve no idea what I could possibly do for a job. Office work, retail, and food would be it, but then who would be around for the kid when he gets off from school? I feel like a terrible parent if I leave my dad to raise my son in terms of homework and school meetings. Not to mention what happens if he has something to do and the kid is sick. The writing would definitely be a thing of the past too because I simply wouldn’t have the time for editing and marketing.
We’re hoping this is simply a terrible time to job hunt for anything other than seasonal. Things might pick up in January, but that isn’t a guarantee. We see stories of people hunting for years or settling for something that forces them to live paycheck to paycheck. A single disaster is life-destroying and we always run into those. Broken car, sick kid, sick adult, medical debt, and the list keeps going. In fact, this post has been going on a lot longer than I expected. It’s just been frustrating, depressing, and I really have a hard time thinking of a solution.
This is the last full week before the kid starts his break and my mom will be home too. She’s getting the hardware taken out of her repaired elbow, so maybe having a bunch of family time will help on all fronts. My only plan for this week is to try and finish the writing project I’m on before that break. I’ll be editing Crossing Bedlam at night during that time and I might have the occasional day where I’m left home to write. Hard for me to think about it with any excitement. Still in the dark about The Mercenary Prince, but I have hype stuff scheduled until mid-January. Then I’ll switch to Bedlam hype.
I don’t have the enthusiasm I should have for all of this because I feel like I’m staring down the barrel of a gun. I mean, how many times can we get knocked down before we just can’t maintain the hope that we’ll rise and stay there? There’s this sense that the next job will be good and then something will happen beyond our control to plunge us back into this situation. It’s been happening to us for years and it feels like this time is kind of hitting harder than before. Probably because we have a child who is asking about it, which really brings home the fact that we aren’t falling by ourselves. We’re taking him with us and that’s what fucking hurts.
Legends of Windemere 
You can keep doing it, keep getting up… and your son will learn about perseverance, patience, determination, supporting each other, following dreams… need I go on? Even so. I know how much it hurts. Hugs Charles.
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That’s the thing. There’s only so much you can do with job hunting. Somebody on the other side of the resume has to get involved too. This is where our frustration is coming from because it keeps feeling like we can’t catch a break. You don’t get rejections any more. Just silence, which means you can’t figure out what’s going on or if there’s a way to improve your tactics.
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I know that feeling and being a good few years past my ‘best before’ date job-wise is unlikely to make it get any easier.A simple rejection does help draw a line and it gets bloody depressing waiting.
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It’s funny because years ago, my wife missed out on a job due to being ‘too young’. Another person put their resume in at the final hour and had 20 years of experience. It’s amazing how one employer can say ‘too old’ and another can say ‘too young’.
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That’s true, though ageism is rife in the employment market simply because youth is cheaper.
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I think it depends on the job you’re going for. I’ve constantly run into the ‘experience’ Catch-22. I’ve been told that I need experience to get a job, but I need the job to get the experience. Honestly, I think the entire job market is rife with a focus more on keeping money within the company than helping those who work for you.
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Yes, I think that is the main problem.You can’t blame them… they are in business to make money, but it seems a little short sighted to save a few dollars on labour when experience could actually make them more in the longer term.
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I think that kind of system causes a build up too. You end up creating a pool of people that you say don’t have experience and bills get bigger as you get older. So once one of these people gets into an entry position, it doesn’t help as much as it would if they got it fresh out of college. Not to mention the fact that when a company starts having problems it’s the newest hires that get let go first, which adds into that low experience pool. Maybe I’m too pessimistic, but it does feel like many employers have little loyalty to their employees lately.
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I’m afraid I have to agree with that too. The smaller firms are under pressure financially, the larger don’t need to care s much… there are plenty of potential employees to choose from.
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True. Enough people get fired and you have a big group to choose from. Rather cynical, but that’s kind of what is going on.
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Yep, sadly that is the case.
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When I was out of work I found that after December 15th you might as well stop all activity until after Jan 2. I’ll pray things get better.
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Thanks. She has to do three things a week on three separate days to keep unemployment going. There’s another temp agency that she might contact after Christmas to start in with them after the new year. They have training modules too, which she can do and that might even count toward the unemployment stuff.
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hope so
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The like button doesn’t feel appropriate, but it’s all we have.
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Yeah. Figured that would trip a few people up.
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Uncanny how Craig usually says the thing that’s on my mind. I sympathize, Charles. I really do.
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Thanks. The ‘like’ button really is a strange creature at times.
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The job hunting battle is the most frustrating thing I have ever been through. My husband is a 100% disabled vet and before his disability came through I worked for years while he stayed at home, sometimes doing the cooking and laundry. Granted, we did have his military retirement, so that helped. But, I get your anger. We had 5 kids at one point and I remember how hard that was. All I can say is to try and persevere. You and the wife are a joint effort going in the same direction. Sometimes it takes a village to help raise a child. Nothing wrong with that. I am sending you both strength and hugs. Let’s hope that this year ahead brings a change to your circumstances. ❤
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Thanks. Just don’t want to depend on the village any more. Some people have taken to making us feel guilty about our situation. Again, it feels like every time we start to climb out of the hole, something knocks us back down. Yet we keep getting told that the economy is better and there are jobs for the taking. Hard to believe that most days.
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I know. The job market is a nightmare. Who knows what “they” are even looking for?We all have had these struggles. Do the best you can. You are awesome folks and it just has to get better for you. ❤
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I hope it does. Unfortunately, you see stories of people never getting back up unless they get lucky. Some days it really does seem like luck is more important than anything else.
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I know. I wish things were better for you all. ❤
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Thanks. Me too. 🙂
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I liked because Heart of Sword is one of my favorite songs ever~
On the front of practical struggles and surviving in society, I can sympathize. It’s tough for a lot of people and it can depend on locationally where you live, if you’re near a metropolis or if you’re in a more rural setting. Depending on which state you live in, some menial jobs are going to pay less (or more) than they would in other places. Moving is complicated though and doesn’t solve everything, but job markets are different depending on location.
Best thing I’ve figured out for my partner and I (luckily we don’t have children, so that relaxes things a great deal) is to group 3-5 job applications every week and track contact numbers, interview opportunities, and expected compensation along with the initial job information. If a place doesn’t get back after 3 weeks, strike them off the list as bunk.
Also, research the jobs that’re being applied for. A fair amount of companies these days have hidden questions or key phrases or certain corporate values they want to hear or see in your application if you’re just a random nobody looking for a job (i.e. don’t have a friend or family member working there already). Repeat this process until a job is found. Depending on the industry (retail, food service, etc.), there’ll be different times that’s best to get hired, but I tend to focus on applying during season changes (quarterly system).
I’d suggest to keep focused with compassion for yourself and your family as a priority when it comes to dealing with all this BS. I hope the break you catch comes sooner instead of later! ❤
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I’m trying to watch through ‘Kenshin’ while I tinker with outlines. Honestly, I’ve never made it through whatever happens after Motoko.
We live near NYC, but it’s expensive to travel in there. My wife is also refusing to do that since she did it for the last job. So that’s another annoying impasse. We’re in a rather expensive area and moving isn’t an option either. The kid is in special education and we’re scared to risk moving into a bad school system.
Good idea with the 3-5 job applications a week. I was pushing for her to send in 1-2 a day. I’ll mention the key phrases and stuff to see if we find anything. Her industry is legal and administrative assistant, which seems to be really tough.
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I watched Kenshin while it was coming out. My personal fav. is the Samurai X movies, but the tv series is good too.
Commuting can be a pain, that’s for sure. My little brother was in special education, so I know how that goes too. Once a decent district is found, there’s a sort of ‘gotta-stay-with-it’ feeling to it. So, both good reasons to stay in place and make the current location work.
Yeah, week seems to work better than daily because hiring managers can take a while to get back on applications depending on their schedules. Plus, application burn-out can be avoided for a bit longer with a weekly system compared to a daily. At least, in my own experience that is. Administrative assistant/legal is a pretty competitive industry, for sure, but with time, opportunities should arise for better or worse – hopefully, better!
Best of luck to you and your family ❤
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I wasn’t as big a fan of the movies, but I haven’t seen them in a while. I remember them being a little choppy in terms of editing and flow of time.
We’re still really hoping that the temp agencies work out. My wife realized that she’s applied to everything in our area that even remotely falls into her job category. One of the agencies has on-line courses too, which she’ll be doing to see if they help. Fingers crossed that things will improve after the new year.
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Fingers crossed! :3
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Hope the tough times end for you and yours soon, Charles, sorry I can;t help more
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Thanks. 🙂
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I’ve been through this too and I completely sympathize with what you are going through now. Supposedly I live in one one the hottest job markets on the east coast . . . provided you have the right credentials, know the right people, oh and have perfect timing. No easy solution, especially at this time of year.
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Sounds familiar. We’re from New York and moved to Florida (back in NY since 2010) after being told they love hiring New Yorkers. We found that wasn’t the case and the locals found people from NY rather uptight. A few job interviews revolved around me being told that I need to be relaxed and not high strung like ‘all Northerners’. Really strange.
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I am rather surprised the hiring manager got away with a statement like that. I’ve been told I am both too experienced and too inexperienced. Never fun.
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I’ve actually been asked worse. My experience at the time was all office work and a little retail. So I was going for administrative jobs or anything that involved typing. That worked in New York . . . Not so much in Florida. I was actually asked this in an interview for a secretarial job:
“Why do you want a job that is usually held by a woman? Would you rather be a manager?”
The kicker is that it was a woman asking me the question. All I could say was that my skills were suited to the position and I’d rather work up to managerial jobs. Didn’t get it, but I kind of knew that once that question came up.
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Wow… I am speechless.
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It was a long drive home trying to figure out exactly how that happened.
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I so understand where you’re coming from. My husband and I have been on this same road with you, just in a different part of the country. Before my husband worked at his last company, we were in the same shape as your family. Then, after working for his company for eight, almost nine years, he was told out of the blue the company was going in a different direction and his services were no longer needed. This happened just two weeks ago. My husband and I haven’t any savings because we lost that in the rental scam.
Also, he is now working at Amazon in the warehouse. His body is hurting because he hasn’t had to do any work like this in many, many years. I can’t work because of my health.
Getting up again and again is one of the hardest things people have to do. It sucks. It sucks great big hairy monkey balls. The alternative to not getting up and going on is worse. It is especially worse for your son, because he doesn’t see his mom and dad failing, but worried, which is what is happening. You aren’t failing. Things are tough for you right now, and though it may feel like failure to you, it isn’t. Some of the greatest stories and works of art are accomplished under the worst circumstances.
Your son is watching you and learning how to keep going, even at the worst of times. Giving uo just simply isn’t an option for either of our families. This doesn’t make it easy, fun, good, etc. This is just how it is.
Things will get better. You and your family will succeed. I know just how badly this hurts, but you can do this.
And don’t forget you can always have a part-time job tutoring and still be there for your son.
Hugs.
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Sorry you’re going through the same thing. I hope your husband can find something less physically straining soon. It’s baffling how employers can do that after nearly a decade, especially if an employee is hard-working.
I think we’re just fearing that the kid will ask questions that we don’t want to answer. At least not truthfully because it was tough enough explaining how mommy lost her job. I did look into tutoring, but I need experience with teaching for that around here. I have some, but unemployed and substitute teachers seem to have taken that market.
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I go through the main library here for tutoring because a lot of low income families go to the library first here in Lexington. You could put this on the bulletin board there. It is an option. Keeping a smile and enjoying the Christmas season is difficult with so much happening, but we’re going to do it – your family and ours. As for your son asking questions you don’t want to answer…well, that’s probably going to happen throughout his lifetime. Good luck with it all. I have confidence in you and your family!
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I’ll give it a look. Those tend to be filled and I don’t really have the experience people would look for. Common Core is the big thing too, which I have no experience in. Have a happy and healthy holiday season.
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You, too!
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Oh Charles I’m sorry to hear about this. I’m not sure anything I say will help but I am sending you positive vibes and hoping beyond hope that something comes up for your wife asap 💖
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Thanks. We keep trying to think up new tactics, but it seems beating against a brick wall is the only option.
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I’m sorry to hear about this, Charles. If it means anything, I’ll pray for you and your wife to receive the strength you need to overcome this trial.
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Thanks. I appreciate it. 🙂
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So sorry Charles. The longer it goes on the worse it gets and robbing Peter to pay Paul is not an easy road to travel down. Praying things get better for you and your family in the new year! ~Elle
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Thanks. Finding that some things are needing to be replaced around here too. More money we don’t really have. Never head the phrase ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul’ before. Curious phrase.
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My mother used that phrase all the time. One of my favorites. And there never is a good time for replacing things…
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Makes a little sense now doesn’t it? https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/rob_Peter_to_pay_Paul
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Interesting origin. 🙂
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It infuriates me that we live in a world where you can work 40+ hours a week and barely make enough to survive — on your own, mind you, not even talking about supporting a partner or a child. I’m so sorry to hear about your job-hunting woes. It sounds like waiting until January is a good bet — it’s the holidays, so I doubt companies are gung-ho about hiring. I don’t have much luck saved up, but what luck I do have, I’ll beam in your wife’s direction for the job search 🙂
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I know. Feels like something got left behind or lost at some point. The more I wonder about it, the more depressed I seem to get. Almost like the world got placed into a series of boxes and it’s rare that anyone can escape from the one they’re born into. At least lifting the lid since there’s always a chance the bottom will rot out. Yeah, I’m not handling this with much optimism. Thanks for the luck.
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I’m hoping for the best for you and your wife, and that 2016 brings in some much-needed luck. I know all too well how much of a bitch the job hunt is. I’ve been trying to find one for a while, myself. It’s kind of a major smash to the ol’ self-worth when not even McDonalds wants you, I’ve found. Been trying to get my foot in the door with illustration, but with a pronounced lack of confidence on my part, that’s easier said than done. Will keep hoping for something to go right for you guys!
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Thanks. I’m hoping 2016 is better, but I was saying the same about 2015. Now I’m just praying it doesn’t end up being worse. I felt the same way when I could never get an interview at Blockbuster . . . I’m so old. Have you considered entering some of the 99designs contests or signing up with Fiverr? Somebody just told me about the latter, but I know artists build up portfolios there while earning a little money.
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I think I signed up on Fiverr a while back. Just need to figure out how to market myself through there, as well.
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Marketing is always the tough part. 99designs might work since it has the contests. I haven’t looked at that site in terms of artists though. All I know is that I make a contest and people enter if they wish. The winner gets the money.
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I know the holidays can be a stressful time, but try focusing on that for the time being if you can. It might take your minds off things, take a breather, and then start again after the New Year.
I also believe that things get worse before they get better. Maybe once the new year hits, things will start looking up.
I hope things get better for you and your family soon!
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Thanks. It’s actually been a rough holiday season. Being Jewish (wife does Christmas though), my son already got his presents. But he’s noticing that kids get stuff later too. This might be the first year we don’t have anything for him on both holidays. I guess we’ve also just done this so many times before that the job-hunting and watching our accounts bleed is getting old. Hopefully this is the worst before better. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the next book release will be a bigger success than the previous ones.
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Yeah, I’m sure that’s tough. One of the families I babysit for celebrate both and I’m sure it’s tricky trying to balance the two.
I hope everything gets better soon, though! I think it will. It just takes time.
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It’s usually easy even on the bank account. This year had some bad timing with birthdays, which seemed to start the gift giving at a higher level. We might just make the Christmas present a trip to the movies, which is a new joy for him. Not sure what will be out for a 6-year-old at that time.
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That’s not a bad time. The point of Christmas is to be together anyway. That’s the important part.
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At least until it reaches the end of the day and then you wish the kid would run out of steam. 😀
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I hear you on that one! 🙂
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Charles, not much I can add here. Most of what I’d say has been said in the comments. It sounds as if this is a continuing struggle not only to find work but to keep a job. It’s a sad situation! I do believe in persistence. Keep the fight going with hope in your heart and mind each day! Good thoughts coming your way! Chryssa
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Very true. Seems to be a very common struggle as well. People seem to lose jobs fairly quickly these days.
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I really can’t add to what’s already been said. I tend to agree about companies/offices not doing lots of hiring last half of December. Like you said, your wife has to send in a certain number of resumes each week per unemployment guidelines. She probably shouldn’t expect to hear back from too many, though. Job hunting and waiting to hear back puts a terrible damper on the rest of life 😦 Frustration boils over…onto those we love.
Laughter helps. During an extremely stressful time, health wise, we watched all of Marilyn Monroe’s comedy movies. If feels good to laugh at times like these…it’s contagious.
I’m sure your son won’t mind not getting a physical present for Christmas. He’d much prefer a movie with his parents and some unhealthy food stuff 😛
I’ll pass by later…
Ellesprth
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It isn’t even sending in resumes. Going to job fairs count and we think taking training modules can count too. The waiting really does make everything feel like it’s on pause. We just found out recently that some of her experience is considered too old, which is a new one. So another hurdle has appeared. I get the feeling that a lot of employers don’t want to teach a new employee these days. As if they’re supposed to come with full knowledge and perfection.
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Words can’t convey how much I hope this ends for you guys.
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Thanks. We’re hoping it’s over soon too.
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