You know, there’s a lot of memes and pictures out there for stay-at-home mothers and not much for stay-at-home dads. This movie came up a lot, but I guess that’s how it works. It would explain all the times I heard someone say ‘women are simply better at child-rearing than us’ while they watch my wife tend to our son. I’m going to avoid getting into that fight though. I’d be here all day and I have writing to do. Besides this is a gender neutral list of things you can do to prevent your stay-at-home spouse from going on strike or striking you with the nearest blunt object.
- On a day off or an early return day, take care of dinner. Learn even a handful of recipes for you to do or just memorize your spouse’s favorite dishes of each takeout place. It doesn’t even have to be fancy. On days that you come home early, you need to warn your spouse that you’re doing this. Coming home with pizza while they’re in the middle of cooking a lasagna from scratch is not going to end well.
- Accept a chore and take care of it without having to be reminded. The more annoying or gross the chore, the better you’ll do. For example, be the one to clean the bathroom and don’t pull the ‘I have it’ for several weeks. If you promise to do a chore and your spouse does it because you kept forgetting, you might be hit upside the head with a toilet brush. Oh and the towels will disappear while you’re showering to clean after the first attack.
- Don’t act like watching the kid(s) for a day or an evening is either a challenge or a piece of cake. You being home to play is a treat while the parent always at home is seen as the authority. Also, try to learn the system that the more present parent has set up and any new habits that your child has developed while you were out. There’s nothing more frustrating that the delicate system of power being shattered by an extra cookie or by pushing an old tactic that stopped working months ago.
- If you or the child makes a mess, don’t call the other parent to clean it up. The kid will tell on you, so just grab a paper towel and get on your knees. You can call for help if it’s a big mess though.
- Don’t promise that you’ll let the stay-at-home parent sleep in and fail to make good on this oath. If the other parent still has to get up, prep breakfast, prep child, and handle morning stuff, you failed. If you make enough noise to drown out a stampeding elephant and let the child run around the room, you failed. If the sounds of crashing dishes and screaming erupts from downstairs, you failed. In other words, you better not make a promise that you can’t make good on. Otherwise, you will have a borderline psychotic spouse on your hands who will no longer care if there’s a child in earshot.
- Learn to read your spouse within seconds. Seeing a disheveled human in the kitchen or hearing screams of battle in the bathroom should be more than enough to tell you how their day has gone. Same with a happy spouse, but keep your senses peeled for the scent of alcohol. Act accordingly with all scenarios, which will take some trial and error. LEARN WHEN YOU ARE MAKING THINGS WORSE TOO!
- If you go out for errands, do your best not to forget anything. If you do forget then don’t turn it into a chore for your spouse. The list might be cooked for your dinner with a side of Rice-A-Roni . . . still in the sealed box. Also, try not to adlib parts of a shopping list unless it’s for you alone or you can show evidence of a sale.
Legends of Windemere 
I think I need a shirt with #2!
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Yeah. That one is a constant issue.
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I think what is so bothersome about it is that, in this instance you, are expected to give superb behaviour and to do things one milisecond after you are asked to do them
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I’m actually of the mind that one gets a chore done the day they promise to do it. I hate spending days asking about it, especially when I see the mess getting worse.
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I love your list. I’m going to have to remember those.
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Glad you liked them. 🙂
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This is a really sweet list. Perfect for Valentine’s Day too. Doing just one of these for the person you love would be a better gift than chocolate!
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Most definitely. Hope people get something like this . . . along with chocolate.
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Great list! It actually makes me glad that currently we both work outside the home 😉
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There’s pros and cons. Guess the plus side is that I can cook and my chores done easily.
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Reblogged this on Finding Myself Through Writing and commented:
This is such a funny from Charles! Do I detect a note of venting here? For some reason, and maybe it’s the ‘old school in me, I can see a woman coming in from work and helping out with her stay-at-home-taking-care-of-kid spouse, but not so much as a man coming home from work and doing the same for his -stay-at-home-working wife. H keeps telling me the drawer bins in the fridge need to be cleaned. Since he has the time to notice things like this, – I never noticed – surely he could do that one little chore don’t you think? “I have it!” 😉 ~Elle
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Some venting, but you are right that it’s ‘traditionally’ the father/husband. Yet the change in family dynamics means it can become a neutral issue. It really depends on the individual couple and situation though.
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Loved this Charles! Just re-blogged. Bad day? You may have hit a nerve! 😉 ~Elle
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I actually set this up a month ago with the wife’s input. This kind of stuff happens a lot around here.
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Well at least you agree on the problems that can occur! 😀that’s a plus! ~Elle
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Reblogged this on Jo Robinson.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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right on right on ,happy V day 🙂 😎
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Thanks. Happy V-Day.
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Preach!
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Thanks. 🙂
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This is a tough one. My wife and I both work outside the house and always have so we don’t really have these kind of fights. Generally we share in most of the household chores or at least have our unspoken areas of responsibility. For instance, I am responsible for any outdoor maintenance, landscaping, garage cleaning, etc., while she does more of the inside work with the help of at least one of our kids. These are mostly weekend chores. If I have nothing outside that needs attending to, I of course come in and lend a hand. I wish you luck with this one and maybe some advice from someone who is in a similar situation. I don’t envy you.
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Thanks. That seems to be the most common balance. Though my mom does the gardening with my son. That’s as far as her outdoor stuff goes.
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At the moment, I am working from home and my hubby is laid off. I am making him read this and maybe printing up a copy to post in the bathroom across from the throne. No matter which partner stays home, there is always the chance to feel unappreciated. This article covers all sides of the potential argument. I think if I had any beef, it would be that the person who isn’t cooking should at least help to clean up the kitchen. But maybe that is just MY rant!
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We work that system in the kitchen, but I tend to clean as I go to. I think a lot of it really has to be a matching of styles and adjusting.
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I love the scent of alcohol warning. pays to check both hands for knives as well
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Check all pockets and boots too. You never know where they’re hiding things.
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LOL
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Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.
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Reblogged this on MARSocial Author Business Enhancement Interviews.
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Thanks for the reblog.
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