The following is a guest blog by Robert Davis of Miscreant Thoughts and Lesser Things.  It is a special anniversary guest blog that he sent to me.

Hello Readers,

I am one of Charles associates, and if you are reading this then one of two things are true:

1)    Charles read this advice to him about how to spend his anniversary and thought it funny enough to put on his blog. 

Or  

2)   Charles was in a hurry for content, and failed to notice this was from the self-appointed king of the miscreants and did a blind copy and paste to his blog.

So things an author should not do when taking their spouse to an anniversary dinner and or show.

1)    Don’t invite any of your characters along. All they do is distract you and it’s hard enough to pay attention to the spouse that, if you’re a writer, you’ve probably been ignoring more then you want to readily admit.  My advice: find a good baby sitter for them, or tell them to send you email.

2)    Don’t take your smart phone.  The urge to see if your sales, or likes or comments on your blog will be overwhelming. I know some people do bring them, and sneak peeks when in they go to the restroom, but honestly how many times can you claim to need to pee in a single night before your spouse either grows suspicious or schedules you for a colonoscopy. Slipping them a diuretic is also a no no. if I have to explain why, maybe you should seek professional help rather than a romantic dinner.

3)    No matter how stunning the restaurant, don’t tell your spouse how much you want to put it in your book, or let you hero/heroine eat there. It sort of defeats the # 1 point of this article.

4)    No matter how hackneyed and heavy handed the movie script you watch is, don’t tell your spouse all the edits the writers should have done. Trust me they won’t care. The only thing worse than a series fanatic pointing out all the plot holes is a writer doing it. Science does not fully understand why this is.

5)    If you have done all four of the above right, and your reward is that your spouse is still talking to you by the time you get home just remember when they offer to go to bed early, do not, under any circumstances say “Cool I can go finish the chapter I was working on”. Trust me you want to turn in early too, you won’t get any sleep but that is another matter all together

Congrats on your 8^th anniversary – and here’s to hoping you take my wise(ass) advice and have a ninth and beyond 😀

Robert