I’m going to ruffle some feathers here. Only because I’ve met many parents who are determined to find the ‘why’. They want to know what made their children autistic. It can stem from:
- A desire to help understand their child better.
- A sense of guilt that it might have been something they did.
- A feeling of anger at their and/or their child’s situation, so they need something to lash out at.
- A hope for a ‘cure’ as if this is a disease.
- Pure frustration.
Back when my son first became diagnosed as neurodivergent, I began reading up on autism. To be clear, he wasn’t officially diagnosed with it until he was entering 6th grade, but it was mentioned a lot. My research was mostly to see if he fit the criteria, but that’s when I learned about it being a spectrum and such. Understanding the habits and ways to help him when he was having rough moments became a top priority. I also got close to the edge of the ‘why’.
Now, it isn’t wrong to try and find out why your child has autism. There is a heavy lean towards it being genetic, but science is still looking into it. Unfortunately, this means many have stepped in to use autism as a scapegoat for their own ideas. The one I butted heads with a lot years ago was ‘vaccines cause autism’. The only studies that have ‘proven’ this have turned out to be faked or purposely manipulated to get the desired outcome, which isn’t science. Of course, you have frustrated and desperate parents who will latch onto anything to explain why their child is autistic and more difficult to raise than they wanted.
IMPORTANT: It isn’t wrong for a parent to get this desperate or frustrated, especially if they have a challenging autistic child. They are human and want explanations to help them through what they are dealing with. It can turn into wanting to blame someone for hurting their child, so things like vaccines, various foods, and some rather outlandish boogeymen get targeted. This doesn’t mean that the parent hates or lacks love towards their child. They do love the child and want them to flourish, but they are letting out their own anguish. It turns into a ‘I will not let this happen to someone else’s child’ situation as well.
One of the spiraling paths that this can take is the parent searching for a why and then wanting a ‘cure’. Even writing this makes my skin crawl because a ‘cure’ makes it sound like someone with autism has a disease. That’s not the case. Their brains are wired in a way that they perceive the world more differently than the rest of us. Yet, a child that is nonverbal and/or prone to violent outbursts can make a parent believe they are sick and need to be ‘cured’. This is why autism gets lumped in with mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar at times, which is wrong. Big difference between a mental illness and being neurodivergent.
Unfortunately, the quest for a ‘cure’ can be somewhat dangerous too. There is one theory that autism is created or at least made worse by heavy metals. It is thought that exposure to heavy metals during pregnancy or early years is a big contributing factor. Chelation is the procedure of injecting chemicals into a person to bind and remove heavy metals from their bodies. So, some parents will opt to do this to their autistic child even though there is no evidence that it will work and has extremely high risks such as kidney damage and heart failure. A terrifying result that parents who are only looking at the ‘cure’ possibility might not realize.
The only way to really handle autism is patience and getting your child as much help as possible. There are so many local and national programs out there that will give support for autistic children and adults. The earlier you start on getting your child the services they need, the faster they would progress towards gaining control. It’s not easy and can be painful at times, which is why the quiet and good times need to be cherished. Otherwise, you can fall down the rabbit hole of hunting for the ‘why’ and a ‘cure’ that doesn’t exist instead of utilizing services that can actually help.
Should a person NOT go looking into what causes autism? No because we all want to know what triggers this. Yet, everything out there is still being researched and very little is set in stone. So, you have to be careful about being drawn in by predatory theories that want nothing more than to get the creators money and attention.
Legends of Windemere 
It makes sense when someone is in pain to ask why. Good advice to be wary of predatory theories. A friend has two sons on the spectrum. Two others each have one son. One of my advisors also has two sons. Two friends were diagnosed as adults. All of the parents have striven to get their children the assistance they need at school. Like you, they also try to help other parents in their situation.
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There is plenty of evidence that it’s genetic too. Recent remarks by public figures have made this an even more controversial subject.
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I am delighted to see Robert F. Kennedy’s decision to focus on finding the cause for autism.
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No. He’s an idiot and an uninformed asshole. Also, a cure means autism is a disease. It is not. It is a condition that is connected to genetics and not vaccines, fluoride, or anything else. The reason rates have risen is due to a better understanding and categorization of autism. It’s no longer a one size fits all, but a spectrum, which is why adults of all ages are finally being properly diagnoses. Brain-worm McGee basically said my autistic son will never be a functional member of society and that his autism destroyed my marriage. He is calling for eugenics without saying the word. Sorry for the language, but the shit he spews is dangerous and dehumanizing to anyone with autism.
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What confuses people with no direct experience of autism is the broad spectrum. It’s awful when a murderer is proclaimed to be autistic, when surely they are suffering a serious mental illness. The last thing we want is for autism to be associated with fear.
Then there are the devastating cases when autistic children are put in institutions where staff abuse them instead of helping them. It’s hard to understand why parents and carers felt they could not keep them at home.
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It’s tough when people use autism as an excuse for bad behavior. I’ve seen many self-diagnosis to get out of trouble.
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You give wise council here, Charles. I can imagine a parent with a child with autism would take comfort in your advice.
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Thanks.
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The only direct experience I’ve had is teaching a boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. Before he started at the school (secondary) we had a talk about Asperger’s. He also had a teaching assistant permanently with him in school.
I found that the other young people accepted him, although they weren’t close friends, but a few of the girls watched out for him.
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My son would be listed as that if they still used the term. A lot of kids accept him as well, but he’s faced some bullying. It was interesting how preschool and elementary school had him being ‘adopted’ by girls who looked out for him. He still hung out with boys, but he always had a girl watching his back.
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I’ve also been shocked and dismayed by the way Secretary Kennedy talks about autism as an “epidemic” and makes such cruel statements that they can’t hold a job or even use the toilet on their own. Maybe some can, maybe some can’t. But it isn’t helpful to repeat such harmful stereotypes and over-generalized accusations.
When people talk about “ending DEI” they never seem to understand that the I is inclusion of disabled people in society. And the harsh fact is, almost all of us have some disability or will become disabled with time. The aging process alone brings disabilities as mild as needing glasses or hearing aids, and then life throws in all sorts of accidents or injuries that can lead to paralysis, just for example.
It’s really scary to hear high government officials classifying autistics and others with disabilities as somehow lesser and not deserving of fair treatment in life.
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I’m waiting for his ‘research team’ to ‘prove’ autism is caused by vaccines. That leathery nepo-baby has always had an agenda, so I expect him to pull a stunt. There was another quote from him about how autism and other conditions were never discussed when he was child.
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What’s eerie to me is that the Kennedy family had a child with intellectual disabilities. (Not autism.) Rosemary was the sister of Jack and Bobby, and in that era it was too shameful for the family to have a disabled person in their very public dynasty. Her father had her lobotomized without consulting the rest of the family, and she ended up being institutionalized for the rest of her life.
You’d think RFK would be more aware and sensitive because of his family history. Evidently not.
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I’ve seen people mention that since he stated ‘diseases’ like autism, adhd, and narcolepsy were never talked about when he was a child. Guess there’s a reason the rest of his family doesn’t like him.
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Well said, Charles!
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Thanks.
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You’re welcome.
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