Finding the Strength to Carry On


This is another one of those situations where I jotted down a shorthand note about a blog post and forgot what I meant.  ‘Carrying on’ must have sounded good at the time and I swore I’d get to it quickly.  I didn’t and now I’m in another awkward moment.  Most people would trash it and do something else, but I always continue with the idea.  Maybe I’ll get it right.  So, what does carrying on mean?

  1. Ranting.
  2. Loading items onto something.
  3. Continuing to push forward.
  4. Activity done by wayward sons.

As you can guess, I’m going to focus on #3 because that feels like where I would go considering my life lately.  It’s been rough and I’ve been struggling to move ahead in various aspects of my life.  Writing is a big one since I don’t have nearly as much time as I would like.  It’s difficult to find a few minutes to focus and my weekends aren’t running that smoothly.  Something always comes up, which adds more sadness and frustration to the author side of my personality.  I fear there will be a day where the little bit of outlining I get done will no longer be enough.  Going to be really crazy once the summer hits too, so we’ll see how much of me will be left.

It’s funny because I spent 10 post-college years only outlining and editing the same 1-3 books.  You would think I’d have a way to carry on in that fashion once more.  Yet, I learned at the end of that period that you aren’t going to get anywhere if you sit and wait for someone.  I tried to control my path with self-publishing and this blog, which gave me more author success in 5 years than I ever had in the previous 19-20.  I’m going back to high school there.  It’s really hard to put the genie back in the bottle and throw the thing under the bed.  Keep thinking that I missed a key element in getting to the next stage, but I know I can’t put all my time into it now.  My focus is on my job and my son.  Of course, this makes me feel that I squandered my indie author time.

The thing with finding the strength to carry on is that it is both powerful and fragile.  It can propel you forward even if it’s a different path.  Yet, it can be lost or hampered the instant you look backwards.  This can be either by your own actions or somebody simply asking how the old stuff is doing.  I think of it like climbing a very high cliff and you’re told to not look down.  Just don’t do it even though everyone does.  It really isn’t easy to carry on after feeling like you’ve lost so much.

What do you think about carrying on?  Any advice on how to do it?

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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28 Responses to Finding the Strength to Carry On

  1. Oloriel says:

    Reading at times like these, I always wish I had the knowledge of the “trick” that would make everything go better. Sadly, I don’t. I also don’t try to be/sound darkly optimistic but it tends to happen, so am asking you in advance not to take my “advice” as a dark thing: don’t give up, on your writing and yourself, your hopes and ideas; because chances are most others will.
    Also, there is a saying which I believe, which goes “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time”. I know the world would be robbed of some great books if you haven’t written them! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the thing. I can’t scrounge up the time for writing. My next book is taking me 7 months to write. One of this size used to take 1.5. Outlining will take longer if I can even pull it off. I can’t outline if I’m taking 2 week breaks between chapters. So, I’m not enjoying this wasted time either. Not the author side of me at least. I’m practically retiring unless a miracle happens.


  2. My advice on carrying on. Think of the last day you have on Earth. What do you want to have accomplished before that time arrives? When thinking in the present, situations become overwhelming. Thinking long term puts the short term conflicts into perspective. A slow down in writing productivity may not be important. Say you live until you are ninety and want to produce books at the same rate as you did before you had to go to work. Doing rough math that would be 150 books. Do you really want to produce 150 books? If so then the present circumstance should be a worry. If not then maybe you can relax the pace and be satisfied in doing so. Feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t make sense.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. C.E.Robinson says:

    Charles, how to carrying on is a hard one. Each of us has a different way and different goals. One thing I do know, my time table in life never worked out the way I wanted it to. I didn’t get to be a writer until after age 60, when I finished all the advanced education to become a nurse practitioner. Several years spent writing with co-authors until both of them died, then getting a copyeditor certificate and learning how to write. So, now I’m 80 and finishing the first draft of a first book. Probably this isn’t going to help you any, but think in terms of what’s important aside from your writing. Right now, maybe work, taking care of your son and surviving the devastating change in your life. I’m rooting for you, Charles. Carry on, things will get better. 📚 Christine

    Liked by 1 person

    • As much as I get the other focuses, there’s still a sense of failure when it comes to writing. Even if I get back to it in my 60’s, I’ll have issues. My series interlock, so time is important. If I get the time at 60 then I won’t be able to finish all 100+/- books I haven’t done yet.

      Liked by 1 person

      • C.E.Robinson says:

        Charles, you just never really know how your writing will go, or in what direction, unless you’re gazing in a crystal ball. Keep good thoughts! 📚 Christine


      • You know, I’m honestly done with good thoughts. Those only lead to more disappointment. Over half of every weekend that I put aside for writing this year was destroyed by outside influences. Positive thinking didn’t help because there was no silver lining for the author side of my life.

        Liked by 1 person

      • C.E.Robinson says:

        Charles, I’m so sorry you’re pushed down by too many outside influences. (shakes head)! 😒 Christine


  4. L. Marie says:

    Other than praying for help and strength to carry on, I don’t have any advice. I know you’ll carry on, because you want to do that. You’re in a transitional period where you’re trying to figure things out. That’s not a comfortable place to be. The issue for you seems to be time–you only have so much of it to give. I hope in this interim period you’ll gain fresh insight on what needs to happen.


  5. I’ve had to adjust my own expectations. I’ve learned to be more productive with the bits of time I get, but the big dream seems unrealistic these days. I always wanted to subsidize my retirement with a bit of fiction income, say $500 per month or so. Now it’s looking more like $5 per month is a better goal. After a dozen books, I kind of expected more. I should add that I’m not willing to throw more money into advertising than a book can realistically earn. That seems to be the only way to reach more people.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree that the big dream seems both unrealistic and almost cruel that it appeared in the first place. Good point on people making it mostly by hurling tons of money or free books at people. That second one doesn’t work as much as the first.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Staci Troilo says:

    I have no advice, I’m afraid. Maybe the cliche: fake it until you make it. But that’s hardly helpful. I think you’re doing well, carrying on, though.

    And for the record, #4 is an awesome song. I loved it even before it became the theme song for Supernatural. (And I love it more now because of the show.)

    Liked by 1 person

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