Art by Jason Pedersen
We asked an expert to swing by and give some tips for putting romance into another genre. He made a wrong turn and ended up in the Bedlam series, so now we’re stuck with Delvin. Take it away, Mercenary Prince.
- Always remember their name. Seriously, nothing will get you hit quicker than saying the wrong name. In fact, you’re probably in a bad spot if you have to juggle so many women. That’s how you get beaten in an alley by a mob of angry women. Totally justifiable, which is why I avoid this situation. That and I’m a one woman type of guy. I have a specific . . . is it getting hot in here?
- This tip is a little tricky. You can compliment other women, but be careful with how you do it. Going too far will get you in trouble with your girlfriend. You know, this seems to get me in trouble pretty often. Maybe I should rethink this tip. Nah, you can still say another woman is pretty because everybody likes compliments. Just save the good ones for your lady. Like one time I told Nyx . . . seriously, is somebody playing with the fireplace?
- Learn how to cook. This goes for both genders. Satisfying the heart is important during romance, but you’re not getting very far if both people are hungry. That’s not counting a bad meal where everyone is throwing up. For example, there was one time where Nyx tried to . . . okay, now I hear growling.
- Choosing a location for a first date should be handled with care. Ask her friends what she likes or try to strike up a casual conversation that might reveal a place she always wants to go to. If that fails then do what a dwarf once suggested to me. Take a quick drink of ale and ask where she wants to go. I don’t know exactly how well this works because Nyx keeps avoiding my question . . . anybody have a towel because I’m sweating a lot here?
- Never underestimate the fun of a walk. There really isn’t any pressure here and you can talk about anything. Most people wouldn’t call this a date, but I think it’s a good idea at any stage of a relationship to do these kinds of things. I mean, you see elderly couples doing this all the time, which means there’s something to it. The gods know I hope Nyx and I . . . I have this urge to eat barbecue.
- Become friends with her friends. If the relationship goes further than a first date then you’re going to be interacting with these people. They can have an impact on your future, so best not to make them mad. To be fair, I have an advantage here because we’re all champions. I’m pretty sure everyone supports me and . . . where is everybody running to?
- The final tip is about the first kiss. Now *knocked through wall by fire blast* Why do these attacks never burn me?
Legends of Windemere 
Love the comment about elderly couples taking a walk together. Truth! It’s good to pay attention to those who have proved they can maintain a lifetime relationship. What a rarity, now!
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Thanks. It does seem like people drop out of a relationship fairly quickly these days.
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Not all, but many. My parents were together for 59 years, and that’s amazing. My husband and I were together for 12 before he passed. It’s the quality of the time, not the numbers, but my folks taught me by their example to stay together and work it out. That’s a good lesson. Thanks again for this post!
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Quality over quantity is right. Spending 60 years with someone who makes you miserable doesn’t sound better than 10 with a person who makes you happy. Sorry to hear about your husband.
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Sounds like Delvin was a little distracted. Fun post.
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It was a very dangerous topic, considering who was in earshot.
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Reblogged this on O LADO ESCURO DA LUA.
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Thanks for the reblog
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Love this!! Love that Delvin is giving advice. Number 3–ha ha ha!!! Food always works for me! Oh Delvin, you get yourself in so much trouble sometimes. 🙂
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Unfortunately, it means somebody else has to get a similar post in a week or two. Fair is fair. 😉
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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Thanks for the reblog. Hope you enjoy. 🙂
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Useful tips Charles 👍😃
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1. Always remember their name. I have read Nazi prose feminists rage against “their” pronoun use as sexist and misogynist test. They contend using “their”(neutral pronoun) instead of ” her ” diminishes womanhood.
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Never heard that argument before. Reading it out loud with ‘her’ doesn’t sound right to me since it’s plural in my head.
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These were very good. Had to laugh out loud and the fireplace reference,
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Thanks. It was fun to give Delvin something silly to talk about. Plus the impending ‘doom’.
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🙂
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My best tip — Be careful with the compliments: be sincere not predatory. I once dated a man who must have been told that telling a woman she was beautiful was THE ticket to getting whatever it was he wanted (ahem!). 🙂
I like to hear those words as much as the next woman, but once it became clear that saying them was no more than a second stage pick-up line, they not only lost their effectiveness as a compliment, they inspired little more than revulsion. I couldn’t get away fast enough.
Fun article, btw.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
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I’ve met people of both genders like that. Probably stems from the idea that a compliment equals a favor. Always surprised those people get anywhere with others.
Glad you enjoyed the article.
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I haven’t run across women like that – probably because I date men, and my female friends aren’t really that type.
I agree with you that it is incredible what so many believe is going to “work.” I think it speaks to an essential loneliness in society that so many attempt to short circuit without realizing that even if they get what they think they want, they won’t ever experience intimacy until they play it straight.
xx,
mgh
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Knew a few in college and it’s harder to pick up on. Guys tend to get blinded by compliments much easier than people realize.
Part of the issue could be that they’re not sure what intimacy is. I’ve been married for 11 years and I don’t think my definition is the same as it was when I was in college. So there’s that evolution of thought that comes with such a complicated desire.
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Good point! However, truth-telling is a fairly uncomplicated concept. 🙂 xx, mgh
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My dating tip for Delvin: sometimes your lady wants her privacy respected, so don’t brag about her too much!
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So funny!! My favorite is #1!! Lol.Heck, they’re all my favorites!!
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Thanks. Happy to bring laughs to the audience. 😀
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I intend to get your books as soon as things swing around for me–hopefully the next couple weeks. Sorry, it’s not sooner!! Your character’s remarks just really sweetened the deal!! I love a humorous character!!
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Hope you enjoy the stories when you get them. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Writer's Treasure Chest and commented:
If you EVER need dating tips, ask Charles Yallowitz where to find Delvin… So much fun!
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Thanks for the reblog. 🙂 Poor guy should have kept his mouth shut.
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LOL I loved it!
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